Quoth Lace Neil Singer
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Back on topic.
Dear Ms. Minnie,
We apologize, but most of our staff is Pagan or Satanist and I am Jewish. We do not appreciate you stomping on OUR rights to enjoy OUR holidays. Christmas is based on several pagan solar day festivals, such as Saturnalia, Yuletide and the birth of Mithras on December 25. Due to the lack of suitable pagan songs for the occasion, we have to make do with what we have. If you are still not satisfied, we have earplugs in aisle 12, or several CDs of lovely music by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, along with CD players and batteries, in aisle 24.
Happy Hanukah and Blessed Solstice,
Chaim David.
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Dear Burger Hut,
I find your slogan, "Coz it's there" to be highly offensive. As both a popular author and renowned teacher at Big Honking University, the spelling of the word "Coz" to annoy my delicate sensitivities. The phrase should be "Because it's there" to be grammatically correct. I wish for this glaring typo to be fixed or I will advertise a chain wide boycott on my blog, Facebook and Twitter pages.
With warm regards,
John Derriere
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