(I'm laughing so hard from the letter that I have tears falling down my face.)
Dear Miss B. N. Laid,
We apologize for the lack of sex received on Christmas. I also like to point out that your husband would not have wanted to sleep with you on that night because he was with me all night. For your inconvenience I will be mailing you the divorce papers from your husband and you will never have to worry about there not being any more...uh...Strawberry Licorice flavored lube cream.
Sincerely,
The Store Manager
************************************************** ************
Dear Vet Hospital,
I went to get medication for my kitty at your clinic. Since I had not called I was informed that I would have to actually wait because they were busy with the 50 other people in the lobby. I had to wait an entire ten minutes to get my medication. And to make things worse your receptionist would not make the other clients take their dogs outside. I had to actually look at those slobbering mangy creatures while I waited! I demand that you compensate me with a $100 gift card and make dog owners wait outside in the -15 degree weather when I come in from now on.
Anita Meds
Dear Miss B. N. Laid,
We apologize for the lack of sex received on Christmas. I also like to point out that your husband would not have wanted to sleep with you on that night because he was with me all night. For your inconvenience I will be mailing you the divorce papers from your husband and you will never have to worry about there not being any more...uh...Strawberry Licorice flavored lube cream.
Sincerely,
The Store Manager
************************************************** ************
Dear Vet Hospital,
I went to get medication for my kitty at your clinic. Since I had not called I was informed that I would have to actually wait because they were busy with the 50 other people in the lobby. I had to wait an entire ten minutes to get my medication. And to make things worse your receptionist would not make the other clients take their dogs outside. I had to actually look at those slobbering mangy creatures while I waited! I demand that you compensate me with a $100 gift card and make dog owners wait outside in the -15 degree weather when I come in from now on.
Anita Meds
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