Quoth purplecat41877
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Dear Mrs. Casual,
We are awarding you one free flight to the country of your choice. The only stipulation is that is a one-way flight. We hear Outer Mongolia is nice this time of year. Enjoy your trip.
Yours,
A. Cessna
Airport Manager
_________
Dear Bakery Owner,
Four months ago my daughter-in-law ordered a wedding cake from your store. It was her own concept and was just perfectly darling, 5 layers high with a roller coaster on top. Well, on the day of the wedding, right before the VERY EXPENSIVE reception, one of my friends told me we had a PROBLEM! At first I thought the wedding party had been in a car accident, but my friend said no, it was worse than that! Your cheaply-made cake was tipping over!! And the roller coaster was falling off the top!! Imagine my HORROR and SUFFERING! Even the 20 little kids who were running around and playing under the table were upset! I DEMAND you refund the entire cost of the cake and give me $10,000 for my embarrassment. If you don't I'll post nasty reviews about your store online!!!
Signed,
Mrs. A. Battleaxe
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