Pissed off and sad

[Dentarthurdent]

So I know I don't have nearly as much to bitch about as some people here. But it's the middle of the night and nobody is online who gives a shit and can talk to me live, so I'm going to post it here anyway.

One of my favorite people is leaving. That does not make me pissed off, but it does make me sad. She was one of the only people to befriend me in this park when I was here a couple years ago, and we've had some great times since I've been back. She's been my workout buddy, my drinking buddy, and my confidante. I understand why she needs to leave and I know it will be better for her where she's going. I'm just really going to miss her.

The other thing that's happened tonight is, I asked a coworker a couple days ago where I could get special food for his cat. He has two cats and was going to give one of them to us because the two eat different food and if they eat each other's food, they throw up. My fiance was at first like "yeah, let's adopt him sometime" and then later it was "let's wait until we're settled in to the new apartment" and then it was "I don't think I'm ready for that kind of responsibility" and then "cats spray everywhere and I don't want to have to replace a bunch of our stuff". Well, I had long since said we were going to do it in July, to both my fiance and the coworker. I FB messaged him to ask him what food to get (it's a specific brand) and he didn't answer me for over a day and then texted me that he found another home for the cat because he didn't think we were interested. I told him I never said that, I said we'd take him in July.

To be clear, I am NOT pissed off because "that was my cat and he gave it away!!!" That would be fucking selfish - the cat needs to live somewhere else so he can eat his own food and stay healthy. I'm pissed off at my fiance for refusing to commit. If he doesn't want a cat, he should just say he doesn't want a cat and stop jerking me around. What really pissed me off, though, was when he went to bed and I told him about the text and he was like "Oh, well, <cat name> will always be my kitty." No he fucking won't! You never took care of him a day in his life!!!

[MoonCat]

I'm sorry. That sucks, even though it's good they found a home for the cat. You were looking forward to it, and now you're disappointed, and I don't blame you. {{hugs}}

By the way, cats do NOT "spray everywhere", please tell your fiance that. Only unneutered male cats do that, or occasionally a neutered male will if stressed (too many cats in the house, for example, which wouldn't be the case for you). A well-adjusted neutered male or spayed female will only pee in their litter box.

[retailworker7]

I grew up around cats and have never had a spayed/neutered cat spray anywhere in my house. As long as the cat's litter box is kept clean they are great about using it.

It is possible to have too many cats and have litter box issues due to cats being territorial and stressed out. I have also had young kittens with no accidents.

If you have a senior cat or a young kitten you may need litter boxes on each level of your house.

[Aethian]

We've only had ONE cat out of countless that have sprayed and he was one bad ass cat. We're still seeing him in kitten today and he's been gone for 11 years now. So please do fill in your SO that not all cats spray.

[Seraph]

Another voice here with not all cats spray. I've got one who pees whenever he gets stressed out, but that's a problem easily mitigated by using multiple litter boxes and keeping him as calm as possible. Also, lots of catnip.

[MoonCat]

Another voice here with not all cats spray. I've got one who pees whenever he gets stressed out, but that's a problem easily mitigated by using multiple litter boxes and keeping him as calm as possible. Also, lots of catnip.

Or Feliway. Check out a pet supply store. It's a product that mimics the facial pheromones that cat mark territory with - (NOTE: It's not like spraying urine, it's something that humans cannot smell. When your cat rubs his face on you, he's marking you as his! )

[Tama]

I thought that just meant he wanted rubs...

[Dentarthurdent]

Really? I thought it was shoving the other end in my face that denoted ownership...

[Pixilated]

I believe that's the feline version of an introductory handshake ...

[Cooper]

In my life, I've had three cats. Only one of them ever peed where it shouldn't, and it was because that cat was evil.

That cat was my mother's baby, and when my mother had me, the cat hated me so much it would pee on everything it knew was mine. (probably peed on me too.) My mother had to give it up.

Currently, I have a cat that is just like a puppy. I'm about to head out to breakfast, and I know exactly how it's going to go. I will walk to the door. My cat, who is currently sitting next to me, will follow me to the door, and ask to go out.

I'll open the door, head down the stairs to my car, where she'll follow to the end of our sidewalk.

I'll leave. She'll circle the area where my car was, then wait until I return. Once I return, she'll scold me and then ask for my breakfast.

[Cooper]

If your fiance still doesn't want a cat, you guys should consider a rabbit. Less of a responsibility, because they don't live as long (rabbits tend to live 10 years max. My last one was almost ten when she died.)

They are very smart--my rabbit had babies, and one of them had escaped the cage, and made it half-way across my apartment at only 3 days old--and very sweet.

The only thing that's really different between them and cats, besides the potential to put them in a cage (it's considered a standard, but some people prefer to house-train them and let them free-run) is how mischievous they are. Trouble my bunnies have caused:

* Cord chewing. They LOVE cord-chewing, and they're damn fast at it too. Owi managed to chew through three cords in 10 seconds.
* Furniture chewing. A friend of mine had a rabbit that chewed on furniture, but was smart about it, and found the right angles to chew on the furniture that their owner wouldn't notice for a long time.
* Escape artists. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Jvju...IwGTtZyr6EmQLg (the video quality is crap, but it shows two out of the three baby bunnies hopping right out of the cage. After this, they've made a habit of trying to shove the top open, knowing that I can make it open, and trying to figure out how they can.)
* Easily startled. They're prey animals, unlike cats. My first rabbit had a heart of freaking steel, and would chase the cats around. (Even a feral cat that decided to come into her outdoors territory.) My second has mini panic attacks when I pick him up. My third is pretty calm, as are her babies.

However, 4/6 of the rabbits I've had have given me kisses. 5/6 of the rabbits I've had do 'binkies' which are the cutest things in the world (when they run around, roll over, jump to the side, do 360 jumps, just because they're so damn happy.)

It's something to consider, though I'd completely understand if it wouldn't work.

[EricKei]

Or Feliway. Check out a pet supply store. It's a product that mimics the facial pheromones that cat mark territory with

Seconded on Feliway. I've used it before (it comes in both a spray thingy and in a handy-dandy reusable atomizer version that works just like a Glade plug-in) and it works just fine. It really helps out with unusually stressful situations such as, say my 6-hour drive to my new home in January (cats in cages, with my husky in the back seat!), and the stress of being in a new house. The sedative probably helped too ^_^ but one of them was still crying for most of the actual trip.

My old vet had the atomizer set up in the exam rooms used for kitties, which is how I first found out that it works -- my cats, when brought to those rooms, would calm down, stop yowling, and just sorta chill out on the exam table, rather than squirming and hiding as best they could.

This is an oversimplification, but it makes them feel "at home". According to that wikithingy, it's a synthetic equivalent to the marking hormone.

IIRC, an atomizer and a vial that lasts about one month ran me around $26.

[fireheart]

By the way, cats do NOT "spray everywhere", please tell your fiance that. Only unneutered male cats do that, or occasionally a neutered male will if stressed (too many cats in the house, for example, which wouldn't be the case for you). A well-adjusted neutered male or spayed female will only pee in their litter box.

Just a note, if one of your cats has FLUTD (short version: crystallised pee), he may also have the same issue.
We found that letting the cats run around outside to pee has worked and now they'll each use their litter box with no problem for when we're not home.

I believe that's the feline version of an introductory handshake ...

My two do that.
We also consider one of them to be "kissing" us when he sniffs us with a wet nose.

Speaking of handshakes though....my grandpa taught his cat (while my grandpa was still alive!) how to shake hands. The cat STILL does it if you get him sitting down. It'll be like "Monty, shake hands" and he'll do it.

[EricKei]

A Siamese I used to be owned by had FLUTD (or an equivalent), as well. Had to give him medicated food to help with it. Smart cat -- the only pet I've ever had who figured out what the doorknob was used for (he couldn't USE it, tho) -- every other pet I've had knew that "door equals outside", but he understood that "doorknob opens door".

[ArcticChicken]

Speaking of handshakes though....my grandpa taught his cat (while my grandpa was still alive!) how to shake hands.

Contrary to popular conception, cats ARE trainable. I have a friend who's

every other pet I've had knew that "door equals outside", but he understood that "doorknob opens door".

My cat likes to get into my cousin's room at night. She figured out how to headbutt the door at the correct frequency to resonate it open, and would wake him at stupid o'clock to demand pettin's. There's a mirror on the door now that makes it too heavy to do that anymore.