Letter to your younger self

[Lace Neil Singer]

Write a letter to yourself back when you were a kid, a teenager or whatever age you like. Can be funny, can be sad, can be advice. Anyway, I'll start.

Dear teenage Lace,

Three things. First of all, please don't start self harming. I know that you want to do it, cuz you hate yourself so much and want to punish yourself, and cuz you're scared that you don't exist so you need to feel the pain, but don't. It's a habit that you're not going to break for years and years and even when you get to be my age, you're going to still struggle against the urge when you're feeling bad.

Second, go downstairs right now and tell your parents that you're being bullied. You think that you don't want to tell them cuz it's so difficult, but believe me, if you leave the school you're at in third year rather than fifth year, there's still a chance that you'll escape the damage done. I know it'll be a wrench leaving the few friends you have, but it'll be better for you in the long run.

Finally, stop thinking that you're such a terrible person. You're not. And you're NOT UGLY! You're a pretty girl with lovely skin and beautiful hair, and you need to stop seeing yourself as ugly right this moment. Cuz otherwise, you'll hit your thirties and you'll still be seeing that ugly woman in the mirror, despite everyone telling you otherwise. Including your fiance, who you love and who loves you. Yes, you won't be single forever; you'll find true love and it'll be the love that lasts.

From, Adult Lace.

[Seanette]

OK, I'll play. Writing to myself at about age 13:

Hi, Seanette!

You may have problems believing this, but please do try to keep an open mind. Considering your taste in entertainment, which I still share, the idea that your older self is writing to you shouldn't be too weird for you to handle. In our family, weird goes with the territory, after all.

Since I know the mistakes you're going to make for the next thirty years or so, here's some tips to make life a bit better for us:
1. I know the kids at school are nasty little small-town idiots, but you only have to put up with them for a few years, then you'll never have to see them again once you move on to better things and places. Don't let the jerks convince you to screw up school. You need decent grades for a decent life.
2. Yes, you CAN cope with the "parents". You've got grandfatherly support, and again, it's only a few years.
3. Both 1 and 2 might well be simpler if you start thinking for yourself and start your search for God now. You may not believe this, but the faith I arrived at at twenty-four has been a tremendous help to me and I know for certain I've found truth that gives me a lot of perspective on life that makes the hard stuff a bit easier to handle.
4. Should you wind up in Astoria shortly after high school, just don't even bother with a guy you'll meet there, first initial C (notable for being exceptionally tall). He's already committed elsewhere, not exactly honest, and more than a little messed up himself. You do NOT need the heartbreak.
5. As far as romance goes, there's a really nice guy in Santa Barbara who's currently a bit too old for you, but when you're an adult, a seven-year age gap isn't a problem, really, and I've been married to him for nineteen years now. No, it's not perfect. Life just doesn't do that. Overall, it's still pretty darn good, though. (Side note: should you be in Santa Barbara in May 1995, there's a really great cat at the city shelter. Look for "Soldier", adopt him, rename him "Felix" (trust me, this is his true name), and enjoy having him until 2011.)
6. Speaking of Santa Barbara, might be better to move to Lompoc sooner than 1998. Much less costly to live there, which will help during some upcoming leaner times. Also, do get some additional education and skills for employment. Having at least a part-time job after marriage would be good, too, if for no other reason than building savings and having a better resume when spousal layoffs occur. Wouldn't hurt to learn more about managing money earlier than I did, too.

I think if you keep what I've already said in mind, you'll do much better at running your life than I did when I did that time period. You're bright, capable, and deserving of a better life than I made for myself. As of right now, life's heading in a good direction for me, but I lost a lot of time on things like ignoring the future and just not caring enough about improving myself and building something better.

You CAN do better than I did.

Love,
Seanette

[MoonCat]

Dear MoonCat:

Grow a spine! Don't let ANYONE tell you what to do. Starting in first grade, honey. First kid that pushes you around, smack 'em. Better to be known as a rough kid than a pushover wimp.

Second, Mama's depressed. You'll learn all about this when you grow up, but for now just try to be understanding; she can't help it, and nobody recognizes it for what it is...including Daddy. He's an alcoholic. When you learn what Al-Anon is, find a group and go. It will help.

Third, remember this: It's no shame to be shy. You'll get over it, somewhat, but in the meantime remember that the world needs quiet people, too. And there's beauty in solitude.

Fourth: You are strong. You don't how strong yet. Do everything you can to get where you want to be. Daydream less, write more, and find a way to make it happen.

Fifth: Stay as close as you can to Mark. Trust me on this. You won't regret it.

[morgana]

To my fourteen year old self:

Take Professor Arndt up on the offer.

When Mary doesn't get back before the dance ends, don't walk home; call Aunt Ide. Trust me, the trouble Mary will get into is nothing compared to what walking home will do to you.

Paul's a good man, and you need to treat him better. But if you still end up losing him, do NOT settle for Cliff.

Travel, write, learn . . .



The woman those decisions made

[Akasa]

Dear teenaged self:

I know it seems like Dad doesn't love you, and that he prefers his real children to you. He does love you, it's just early on in Runt's life you pushed him away and he felt he couldn't be affectionate with you anymore.

Also, stop blaming Runt for being born. She's your biggest fan and will be a fierce ally in life if you let her be.

You're worth more than you give yourself credit for. These guys you keep going after aren't worth your time.

[Fudgethatkay]

Young Fudgie;
Do your god-damned homework. You're too smart to not be ahead. Starting over at 23 isn't too bad, but for your particular goals, you should do better.

I know it seems like Rei was the one, but let the relationship pass before you get more emotionally invested...
Don't fucking date Arai. Don't let yourself be in that room with the guys at that party and don't use the bathroom there. Period.
Don't hurt Ohtaka. He is a good friend and your confusion caused some problems :<
SB isn't a bad person, but after he hits you, leave and stay gone.
Don't cut anymore. Don't even pick up that knife.
Keep T in your life. He is the best

Forgive your mother. A lot of wrong she does, yes, but she does love you. It's not fully her fault either.
Forgive your brothers earlier too. The world doesn't owe you. Learn that earlier than you did.

[Akasa]

Dear 13y/o self.

Do NOT go on that camping trip with your uncle D and cousins.

You'll regret it for the rest of your life.

[firecat88]

Dear 12-Year-Old Me,

Do not talk to the guidance counselor. She's going to take Chris's word over yours, make you shake hands with him and say you forgive him/are sorry for accusing him of picking on you, and it'll get worse. Instead, tell Mom and Dad and have them talk to the principal.

Love,
You in 16 years

(PS- I know he's cute, but Moona's almost as big a jerk as Chris and isn't worth your time)

[Victory Sabre]

Dear 18 something Victory Sabre

About gals.

The first gal you're interested in in college isn't good for you, in fact all the ones that you became interested in were not worth your time - and stay away from the red-head, she's evil, and will make your life a living hell. When a gal named Valerie approaches you, yes, she's hot as bleep, but she's actually interested. It might not work, but give her a chance. Also, when you meet a Misty, well, she's a nice gal, but do not fall for her - her personal problems will prevent her being able to commit to you.

Investments. Seriously, get more gold and silver, as much as you can before 2008 or so.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

Dear younger me:

You are going to get older and forget how to make friends, the ones you make in school are going to see you through your life; treat them well!

[Dreamstalker]

Dear something-teen Dreamstalker:

You're good with computers; there's a reason that when we got our first internet connection mom fobbed the modem setup off on you. The tech you spoke to didn't talk down to the kid on the phone, he guessed you were smart enough to follow intermediate-level directions. STAY WITH THE COMPUTERS and learn as much as you can; you don't deserve to be in retail hell. And by 'learn as much as you can', I didn't mean being dragged into the Meow Wars (although everyone on Usenet at the time was dragged in). You did manage a few impressive Usenet Death Penalty kills though, and I concede that's where you learned the arcane art of reading headers and tracing accounts. Stay with that.

You will come into a fair amount of money around 2007. Do not let mom take control of it without a detailed explanation; even then, don't do it. Trust me.

[Jester]

Dear teenaged Jester,

Stop being such an asshole. Seriously, dude, pull your head out of your ass. And here's some advice for you...

First, regarding girls: when you get involved with the Brit, hold on to her. Not only is she awesome, despite all her flaws, staying with her will prevent you from getting involved with a couple of psychos, which you really don't need. But even if you can't hold on to the Brit, whatever you do, do NOT get involved with that skinny chick from Georgia. She is vile.

Second, when you go to college, do not take time off. You're horrible at finishing things you put aside, so what makes you think this will be any different? Duh.

Third, get behind the bar sooner, not later. You belong there more than you do waiting tables, ya dummy.

Fourth, start cooking at home more. Chicks dig that. And it's fun.

Finally--and this is important--in 1991, when you take that road trip to California, and you decide to take a quick detour to San Diego and Tijuana, that stupid idea you have--don't do it. Because San Diego County Jail SUCKS, even if just for a few hours.

Oh, and seriously, stop being such a douche. Don't make me come over there and kick your ass.

Signed,

A Surprisingly Happy In Life Older Jester

[DerangedHermit]

Dear Young Deezy,

When you choose colleges, just go to the community college like everyone else, and don't go to the freaking diploma mill that won't teach you anything. Also, if you've become a lifer, you've done something wrong.

PS: clean up yourself. You smell like a Magic player.

[darkroxas45]

To every younger me between 10 and 21:
Shape up and behave! Especially you, me in high school. Don't elbow that girl in the stomach because you are in a bad mood. And middle school me, watch what you say because it might haunt you many years later, same for you high school me and don't be afraid of people in authority positions. Also when you're walking to mom's work one night and see a guy run through a railroad crossing, tell the police the truth. When you get your license go renew the tag on your brother's car and be a good driver and put away a grand at least for when it breaks down one day. Don't screw around in school either, get a job and work hard at it. Just graduated me, you aren't weird liking the furry fandom.
I guess I had a lot of baggage.
From Current Roxas

[Kittish]

Younger me,

Forget about trying to 'fit in'. You don't. You never will. Learn to be happy being 'the weird one.' Learn about what interests you. Don't give a damn about what other people think about that.

You look better than you believe you do. And in a few years it won't matter anyway, because you'll develop enough self-confidence to say 'fuck what anyone else thinks' and mean it. Start practicing now.

One thing you're right about, not wanting kids. We make a terrific Aunt, but I still firmly believe we'd suck as a mom.

Speaking of moms, don't try. She's not worth the effort. Let it go, try to forget she even exists. Dad really means it when he says he wishes he'd found that letter first.

Me