Stood Up For The Second Time.

[Victory Sabre]

I would simply ignore her, not saying one word outside of necessary business.

This is the best answer for dealing with her. She isn't worth your time and effort to do any revenge.

I heard a long time ago a good quote "don't stick your dick in crazy". She may be hot, but she's crazy, and she's the loser in the situation.

[lordlundar]

I can see why options 2 and 3 are appealing but you realise given her past behavior that she's probably going to flake again, right? She's never going to show up, I don't know if it's some power trip for her, she's a flake, or just crazy but she'll cancel any plans you make and you're not likely to get into her pants. Hell I'm in a different country than you and you'd have a better chance of that with me (hint: I like cocktails and am a cheap drunk) :P

Yeah pretty much. Option 1 is the best option partially because given her past behaviour you'd never get the chance for option 2 and 3.

There's also the fact that you are a better person than one who would go for options 2 and 3 Jester.

[cindybubbles]

#4. Righteous Indignation: Call her out on her BS and then just be polite and cordial to her afterward. It's not right to ignore her, especially at work.

[iPanda]

i haven't logged on or done much in forever but i came back JUST to give you my 2 cents haha.

Go with option 2. but civily.
Court her, firmly express that you do not want a serious relationship but would like to take her on a few dates. You're both adults. Definitely fuck her a few times and when something better comes along, move on from her. Have a no string attached, adult relationship.
But make sure you always split the bills on any dates you go on with her.
Having a fuck buddy doesn't make you a pervert btw. I've had 4 at the same time before....... ahem tmi sorry HAHAHA
ok im out lol

[AccountingDrone]

i haven't logged on or done much in forever but i came back JUST to give you my 2 cents haha.

Go with option 2. but civily.
Court her, firmly express that you do not want a serious relationship but would like to take her on a few dates. You're both adults. Definitely fuck her a few times and when something better comes along, move on from her. Have a no string attached, adult relationship.
But make sure you always split the bills on any dates you go on with her.
Having a fuck buddy doesn't make you a pervert btw. I've had 4 at the same time before....... ahem tmi sorry HAHAHA
ok im out lol

*snicker* I lived with 2 guys at the same time [and both were in the same military unit,] and have been in an pen relationship with my husband for pushing 30 years, and involved with 'junior husband' for 14 ... and yes not only do they know about each other but are also friends.

Not impossible, but open relationships take absolute honesty and trust. Not for everybody.


My choices would be primarily #1, with a side order of #2 if you don't mind sticking your dick in the crazy. #2 has the greatest potential to go really wrong really fast.

[iPanda]

with a side order of #2 if you don't mind sticking your dick in the crazy. #2 has the greatest potential to go really wrong really fast.

STICK THE DICK IN THE CRAZY AHAHAHAHAA IM DEAD

[MoonCat]

There's nothing wrong with fuck buddies as long as both (or more) parties are on the same page, emotionally and mentally.

Where I do see something wrong is in using sex to hurt someone because they hurt you. This wasn't a hooker who reneged on the deal (not that people should harm sex workers, either, but if you pay for sex that's usually what you get). This was two dates that never happened. Two dates that might never have led to sex in the first place. And this is a person who doesn't sound like she has all her marbles, so any attempt to get back at her could rebound on you times ten, possibly.

Be the good guy you are at heart. The only fuck here should be when you tell her to fuck off.

Just my two cents.

[Kittish]

Slightly off topic perhaps, but to all of you saying some variation of "Don't stick your dick in the crazy,"... the crazy ones are generally the best in bed. So says Boyfriend, and he ought to know.

But... there's crazy, then there's crazy. And this chick sounds like it's entirely possible that given any excuse she might very well turn into Overly Attached Girlfriend/Stalker style crazy if one were to do something silly like have sex with her.

[Jay 2K Winger]

As tempting as Option 3 might be, I advocate going for the "icily professional" route in all future dealings with her. Interact the minimum required for the job. If she asks for a third chance, turn her down firmly. But otherwise, just carry on being Jester and living a happy life.

It's her loss for screwing up the opportunity she had to join you in said happy life. And that's punishment enough.

[Akasa]

I agree with the others, she's emotionally imbalanced and if you stick your dick in the crazy you may not be able to get rid of her.

Even if you plan to do a love em and leave em thing.

[XCashier]

I don't know if she's playing games, mentally off or just plain stupid, but she's botched both of her chances. Don't give her another one, and if she asks, tell her exactly why. Keep your relationship totally coworker-to-coworker, all business.

Elaborate revenge schemes are fun to daydream about, not so good in real life. I'm pretty sure you know that and are just venting, though. That twit isn't worth one more millisecond of your time.

[Chromatix]

But... there's crazy, then there's crazy.

I'm currently watching Mirai Nikki - aka Future Diary. The female lead is the poster child for Yandere.

[Mytical]

Wrong person to give ANY dating advice.. but I have to caution also about sticking ANYTHING in the crazy. Never turns out good.

[Jester]

Update:

Sunday night, despite being in a good mood, I was very, very angry. I calmed down a lot the next day. And here's how the next day went....

Got into work, started setting up the bar as I always do, perhaps in a more focused and businesslike way than normal. She attempted a bit of small talk with me, I answered curtly, not icily, but with the bare minimum to be civil. Early on, she asked me, "Are you pissed at me?" Without even turning around to face her, I simply replied, "Maybe." Probably should have said yes, but that was what came out of my mouth. Whatever. It would be clear to anyone with half a working brain cell I was less than happy with her, because our interaction was not its normal friendly flirty self. We did talk somewhat, but only regarding work. I was polite, even friendly, in those interactions, but I am not a dick to my coworkers, even the ones I don't like.

Eventually, I got an apology....if you can call it that. Rather than actually apologize to my face, she sent me a text of a little cartoon character saying, "I'm sorry." She did this while she was still in the building with me, not 20 feet away. This is a 38 year old woman, not a 12 year old in junior high school. But that was her form of apology. I responded to that text in exactly the same way she responded to my texts and phone calls from Sunday, when we were supposed to go out: not at all.

Cartoon apology? Riiiiiight.

Her shift finished, she tipped me out (as servers tip out bartenders on liquor sales in my establishment) and she left. She did not work today, and I don't know what her schedule is. I could look it up, but frankly I don't care.

Thank you all for your feedback and letting me vent. I do have a few responses to some of your comments.

First, regarding #2, the idea of fucking her just to fuck her. Some of you think I am above that. I am not. However, I am not about to expend any effort towards that end, and she falls in my lap, so to speak, I'll ride the Tilt-A-Girl. But it would be no more than that. Her chances of dating me are deader than Bill Cosby's reputation.

Regarding #3, I am not above that either.....but to do that to someone, they would have had to do something far worse than what this girl did. Something where stranding them was the nice way out. That, or just really, really piss me off. I guess it would depend on the day. But for it to be premeditated, it would have to be far worse.

To those that suggested I court her as a fuck buddy: thank you, but no. I will not spend one iota of energy on pursuing this girl in any way. She had her chance. She had two. Now she gets none. Fuck her. No dating, no fuck buddy, no multiple partners, nada. Anything like that would involve some level of trust, and I do not see any way I could trust her. So again, thanks for your input, but that is simply not who I am. Not with someone like this.

And so I go on, and will enjoy my life, and leave her to whatever twisted existence she has, with her ex, without him, with someone else, I really don't care. I only know it won't be with me, and if I have any influence with them, it won't be with any of my friends.

I'm out.

[Marmalady]

For what it's worth, Jester, I think yours is the right way to go.

To do that to you, not once but twice, and then to have the gall to ask if you were pissed at her? I would say she's either too stupid to understand that she can't treat someone like that and not have them pissed at her, or so vain that she thinks she can and the person will just be OK with it. And as for the cartoon apology...