Retaliatory cleaning. It's a thing!

[notalwaysright]

My mom has a lot of trouble getting rid of things. I also think it became worse after her mom died. My step-dad "tries to help" from time to time. I put that in quotes because his strategy is to barge around holding up things saying "you don't use this, do you?" And he won't cooperate when she tries to include him in cleaning. She likes to have a specific goal, like one room. Then she goes through the stuff and makes piles to keep, to give away, to throw away, etc. She will bring him in and say "this pile is your stuff. All I'd like you to do is deal with this one pile." And he immediately wanders off and starts going through a different pile, or even starts on a different room. So she cleans that room, but his pile is still there. She's pretty OCD, so she literally can't keep going until that room is done. ...They've been married for over 20 years.

I know most think I'm crazy but, I love moving! It's not super fun while it's happening, of course. But I really like purging, and then unpacking in the new place and it's only stuff I use and like. I renewed my lease, by the time it's up again I will have lived here for four years which is the longest I've lived anywhere other than the house I grew up in. I need to do a big clean soon, after I deal with my internship interview. /panic

[mathnerd]

Mr. Mathnerd came home for a day and saw what I did. I actually kept him updated with pictures so he wouldn't be in complete shock, but he was still rather surprised at what got done. Academically, he's happy about it. Emotionally, he's having a difficult time. I think in the long run he'll be happier.

One of the big things was his late wife's possessions. I think I mentioned that previously. He'd had a lot of her stuff just piled in what I thought was just a corner of the bedroom, but turned out to be a built in vanity. He was definitely tense until I showed him where her things were packed and stored, and pointed out that I cleaned up and displayed her jewelry boxes and music boxes so now he can enjoy them, and her memory through them. That made him smile. I was talking to one of his daughters about it and she was very touched by it as well.

He had to leave again, and who knows when he will be back. I'm expecting a few weeks of tension as he gets used to things the way they are, and thinks of things that he now no longer knows the location of, which I will need to show him. That's a big deal. He likes knowing where everything is. But this will be so much better for us in the end. He will enjoy his home more and I will be better able to keep things tidy. It's a win for both of us.

[Nunavut Pants]

Wow, you are amazing! Mr. Mathnerd is super duper lucky to have you in his life.

[Seshat]

I'm good enough that I've occasionally considered making a business out of it.

We got help from a professional organiser through a disability support charity, earlier in the year.

It was an amazing help. We physically couldn't do what she did for us.

[Food Lady]

Seshat, that is really cool. Next time I move I'll need a lot of help because my furniture is too heavy. And after that the cleaning will be hard. I guess that's why I tend to stay put!

[mathnerd]

Oh! Another client base I didn't think about. Thanks, Seshat!

I talked about this with my son's gf. She's interested in being my assistant. Maybe I can pull this together and have an actual, real income again.


(Also, I've lost 7 pounds doing all this work, and have still been eating like crap, it would be awesome if I managed to lose a bunch of weight just because I'm doing active stuff all day, even better if I start paying attention to what I'm eating.)

[Seshat]

It is too easy for disabled people to become inadvertant hoarders simply because pruning their stuff is physically difficult and/or painful.

Professional organising/pruning help can be wonderful.