Did I do the right thing? (venting)

[HotelMinion]

So Bro came up to me and asked why I don't like to ask our Dad for help. I'm very independent, and last thing I want to be is in the debt of someone who made my childhood hell. I told him that in nicer terms and he got upset. See, all of his childhood school pictures have him grinning ear to ear because he was the pampered prince of the family. (All of mine are looking miserable). And I admit, I did spoil him as well. I didn't want him to have the childhood I had, always wondering if Mommy and Daddy are in a good mood or Mr. Hyde, always walking on eggshells, never knowing if I was loved, lonely, wondering when my next meal was. (we were dirt poor then). He didn't have to face all that. He was protected. I had to protect myself. I thought that I was doing a good thing because like I said, I didn't want him to be affected by a horrible childhood. I saw what it did and still does to me.
But now I'm wondering if I did the right thing. Maybe I should let him see for himself, to experience firsthand how Dad really is. He thinks Dad is a saint. I love my Dad but only because we are related and share blood, as a person, I don't trust him any further than I can throw him. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Pixelated]

I would say you did fine. If your brother is now an adult, you don't have to worry about "protecting" him any more from the unpalatable facts of your family.

If he ever asks "But what do you mean?!?" you might want to give him a bit of chapter and verse (again, politely) about why you don't want to ask your father for help.

Brother: "But ... I don't remember anything like that!" I don't know whether you want to tell him about your parents and you "protecting" him (that might come across as condescending, no matter how hard you try to avoid it) or just say ruefully "Lucky you. But I do."

If things work out well, he will just understand that you have one set of memories from your childhood, and he has a different set from his childhood, and let it go at that. If he starts down the road of "That never happened! You're just imagining it!" ... it's up to you how you want to handle that.

[csquared]

Your only mistake is wasting your time looking back.

You did what you did. You did what you felt was RIGHT. You can't change that now.

Go look at those pictures of your Bro grinning from ear to ear, Now tell me. Is that a mistake?

[Racket_Man]

in simple terms of family dynamics you were the Scape Goat (who was the cause of all evil in the family) and your brother was the Golden Child (one who could do no wrong and if they did it was YOUR fault). Your parents are really the underlying causation here as they were the Bi-polar ones (meaning what mood were they at this particular moment or day or hour) and they laid out the roles for you two to play and enforced those role however they did.

You obviously figured things out early on and at least understood something of the dynamics in which you had to exist

No you did nothing wrong then or now.