Human Pinata, or How to Be a "Man."

[Seshat]

Jester - get a copy of the book "Gift of Fear" and give a copy to A
(yes, this was just once again on Oprah

. . . wow. There's a book Oprah and I agree on.
(not that I know what else is on Oprah's lists)


Jester:

Organise the fundraiser. Inform the police of the situation, and ask if having a police presence at the fundraiser is possible. And ask if it would be appropriate to advertise the fundraiser with them. Off-duty police at the fundraiser can act as witnesses, even if the local laws prevent them from acting as bouncers.

Discuss with the police that you want to raise funds for a domestic-abuse shelter as well as for the ASPCA, but you're concerned about interference if you do: the police may well have ideas, or may be willing to have a visible police presence at the fundraiser to discourage trouble-makers.

[wolfie]

Maybe we'll get lucky and BB will walk in front of a Greyhound bus.

That's something I wouldn't want to happen - there would likely be a large number of innocent passengers traumatized (or at least delayed) by the event, and (extrapolating from what I deal with on the job) Greyhounds are limited to 41,000 pounds (12,000 on the front axle, and 29,000 on the rear pair - one of them only has single tires). On the other hand, an 18 wheeler carries at most 2 people (for a team truck) and is allowed up to 80,000 pounds gross weight - and Texas bumpers are made of 3/16" thick steel plate.

This all happened in Key West? I believe Key West is in Florida, Florida has alligators, and alligators are carnivores. One line in "The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia" (near the end of the song) seems appropriate.

[Jester]

No gators in the Keys, though. They are up in the Everglades. Besides, since they are (I think) endangered, poisoning them with foul meat like BB would be illegal.

We DO, however, have plenty of sharks in these parts.

[Geek King]

No gators in the Keys, though. They are up in the Everglades. Besides, since they are (I think) endangered, poisoning them with foul meat like BB would be illegal.

We DO, however, have plenty of sharks in these parts.

Use pigs. They can even eat a human femur, and there would be a certain poetry to it.

[XCashier]

We DO, however, have plenty of sharks in these parts.

Yeah, but they might leave him alone out of professional courtesy.

[Jester]

Use pigs. They can even eat a human femur, and there would be a certain poetry to it.

And as with gators, no pigs in these parts. As said, plenty of sharks, though.

In other news....the memorial/celebration of her life is going to be on Monday, February 11th at a local outdoor bar. I need to make up the flyers, as I just got workable pictures of her yesterday. Once the flyers are done, we need to get some volunteers to go around to businesses with them, asking permission to put them up and then turning around and asking the same businesses if they'd like to donate products, services, or gift certificates to the cause. The ASPCA is on board, and has actually offered to have some of their volunteers help with the flyering, which is damn cool.

Sadly, it seems that BB may be attending, as there really is no way I can keep him away without making it a whole political thing, which is what I DON'T want to do. I have made it clear to A., though, that ANYONE causing trouble (including me) will be removed with prejudice. Hopefully that message will filter through to BB and his dipshit friends.

Okay, much work to do. Bleah.

[Eireann]

What if you cold-shoulder BB and his friends? If the temperature in the room drops markedly when they enter, it may even penetrate their primeval little vestiges of brains that they are not welcome.

Just a suggestion.

[monolayth]

What kind of idiot will go to a place he is quite obviously not wanted?

[Rahmota]

Jester:

though, that ANYONE causing trouble (including me) will be removed with prejudice. Hopefully that message will filter through to BB and his dipshit friends.

Well that might work. Hopefully they will decide to be better people but who knows.

monolayth:

What kind of idiot will go to a place he is quite obviously not wanted?

One who thinks they can proove how good and how much better they are and that they cant be shoved around and forced to not go where they want to go.......blah blah blah. I mean I can undetstand if there was a moral elg to stand on doing that but this case not only is there no moral leg there isnt even a moral stump....

[Jester]

What if you cold-shoulder BB and his friends? If the temperature in the room drops markedly when they enter, it may even penetrate their primeval little vestiges of brains that they are not welcome.

My cold-shouldering him would mean nothing, as our last conversation ended with me saying, as I recall, "I hope you rot in hell, you fucking piece of shit." Yeah, after that, cold-shouldering? Not making much of an impression. He knows what I think of him. I have never hidden that, nor attempted to.

What kind of idiot will go to a place he is quite obviously not wanted?

The kind that wants to maintain the illusion that he cared for the girl he either killed or drove to suicide. Of course, there is the possibility, which I don't discount, that he actually believes he did love her, in his own way.

Sorry for the negativity of this post.....working for several hours on the flyers for TD's memorial took more out of me than I would have thought. I am somewhat somber for a Jester........

[Eireann]

I should have been more specific.

I didn't mean just you, Jester, I meant ALL of you. Every single person in the room. Ignore the fuckers. Pay ZERO attention to them. Walk away if they're approaching you. Do not answer if they talk to you. Whatever they do, ignore it, unless it's violent; then, call the police and let them handle it.

Remember, people like BB exist to be noticed. They couldn't care less HOW they are noticed. Negative attention, to them, is still attention. This guy stalked TD when she left him. He had to have her attention. Now he needs it from others. He'll play "poor me" to everyone he can, whenever he can, wherever he can, for as long as he can.

And, just as important, he sees himself as a good guy. Assholes don't go around saying, "God, I'm such a prick! What a loathsome waste of space I am!" They always always always attempt to justify their actions, whatever those actions may be. We all want to feel that we're good people, and BB and his ilk are no exception.

He wants to be treated as the grieving boyfriend. If he can't get that, he'll be glad to settle for "I hope you rot in hell, m*****f*****." Don't give it to him. Hard as hell though it is, don't respond to him unless he puts property or health in danger. Then, as I said before, hand it over to the police.

[Seshat]

Eirann is right - well, IMO.

Also, have the bouncers (and any off-duty or on-duty police who attend) be aware of the policy. If BB or his cronies start to cause trouble, have them removed with as little attention given to them as possible. Treat them as mobile furniture while they're there, and when they're trouble, treat them as mobile trash that needs to be taken out.

If possible, have not one word spoken to them, and have noone so much as make eye contact with them.

[Jester]

Today's the day...

The Celebration of TD's life is today, from 5-7 pm ET.

I have been very busy organizing it and getting donations for it, so haven't really had much time to update on it.

Will try to do just that tonight, tomorrow, or the next day.

Okay, off and running....talk to y'all later.

[MMATM]

Holy cow, that's only a half hour away!

Good luck Jester! Make it a helluva night!

[aniwahya]

I am so sorry to hear about TD Jester. Gods that sounds so inadequate.


In reading this thread and hearing a lot of comments regarding personal safety and self defense I just wanted to recommend that EVERYONE get a copy of Hardcore Self Defense by C.R. Jahn.
I apologize if this seems I'm trying to move the thread away from TD, because that's not my intention at all. My only intent is to give people a fighting chance because what happened to TD shouldn't happen to anyone, but it does all to often.