So, I'm back (rather long-winded, but needed to ramble for a bit)

[lupo pazzesco]

Well, I have returned from my trip home for my grandfather's funeral. It was a hubbub of family all over the place. I saw family I've not seen in years, and met family I've never meant in person before. Rather sucks that we had to meet for the first time on an occasion like this.

It wasn't an easy service. I ended up not going to look at my grandpa in his coffin. I couldn't. Thankfully, no one felt the need to press the issue. The service was ok, I suppose. I'm not sure I have a gauge on which to measure how it should be scored, but the man who gave the eulogy did a good job. He was warm and witty, and made us laugh and cry at the same time. I didn't think I'd laugh at the funeral, but there it is.

I held up all right, I think. Tears did escape at certain points, but I never actually broke down sobbing during the service. Well, at one point, I cried more than a little, but it's when my aunt and a family friend got up to sing a hymn, and broke down before they could even get a verse out.

And then we went to the cemetery. I made it through the flag ceremony. I made it through the soldier presenting the flag to my grandmother on behalf of a grateful nation. I managed to be ok when the soldiers shook our hands and passed on his condolences. The 21 gun salute startled me, but it didn't really do anything.

And then the bugle player started to play Taps.

Yep, that was it, I lost it. Cripes that was hard. No one managed to keep from crying at that. It was terrible. I think I hate that song. I really do.

I don't quite know how I feel right now, or at all, really. I came back and it's diving straight back into work. Inventory is this week, so I've hit the ground running. I don't really have time to feel. But it does hit me at the weirdest moments.

I'm worried about my mom, and my grandma, and I call them often, and plan to keep doing so. But the trip home was hell. Utter hell. Beside the funeral, my sister went completely apeshit crazy on me. I'll probably post more on that later, but suffice it to say, she actually caused a physical altercation with me, and she hasnt' managed that in YEARS. She threatened to put my head through a glass door, and came to stand inches behind me, so I reacted, and had her by the throat before I realized what happened. I'm still kind of kicking myself int he ass on that one, because I haven't reacted like that (or had cause to) in years.

Overall, it was just a crappy time. The funeral was hard. I think it helped. In fact I'm sure it did. But I didn't want to be there for the purpose of burying my grandfather. I really didnt'. But I'm sure that goes without saying.

And herein ends my rambling. I just realized I have an online quiz due in an hour, so I should probably actually read the chapter and take the quiz. gah

[fireheart]

Awww it's OK hun *sends cookies and lots of hugs*

I remember my grandfather's funeral. Unfortunately I wound up missing out on half of the service as I was recovering from an chest infection and kept coughing during the service to the point where I had to leave the chapel. I thought it was the flowers, but it wasn't because I had to carry them back to my grandmother's place. I did manage to attend the burial in one piece though.

My cousin's funeral was worse. He died when he was 18 of a brain aneurysm and while I wasn't coughing through this service, I kept freaking out for weeks afterwards because I thought I would die of the same thing (I kept getting frequent headaches)

[Bella_Vixen]

And then the bugle player started to play Taps.

My grandfather passed 50 years ago next month.

To this day, my mother cries when she hears Taps. (She was his favorite.)

She tries to avoid any such occasion where it might come up.

[Aethian]

*snugs Lupo*

[Amethyst Hunter]

Sounds like you did all right, all things considering. Sorry to hear that you had problems with your sister though.

[RetailWorkhorse]

I ended up not going to look at my grandpa in his coffin.

<snip>

Beside the funeral, my sister went completely apeshit crazy on me.

It's okay, Lupo, I didn't go into the chapel at all at Papa's funeral. The funeral director's little boy kept me company in the breakroom. I like to think the FD knew I was going through.

Dare we ask, what did you sister DO? That's messed up to do that during this time, just totally messed up.

[Buglady]

*Sends Lupo a hug* - the kitties send purrs and snuggles too. Pickles also sends a head-butt; he's a little hockey-cat who isn't quite clear on the "affectionate nudge" concept, but both cats are very good at comforting bereaved humans.

Go easy on yourself. Everyone grieves in their own time and in their own way. (Sometimes they do it in ways that are hard for others to deal with - I'm sorry to hear your sister is apperently one of those, that makes things a lot harder for everyone else...)

[RootedPhoenix]

*hugs Lupo* I wish your sister hadn't made it harder. She's probably dealing with pain of her own, but....that's an awful way to deal with it.

*many many hugs* I haven't got any great words, but I have herb tea and honey! *offers*

[Sliceanddice]

i understand the feeling, when my grandfather died, every one showed up, family i had meet only when i was barely walking or not at all. so many in fact my grandmother reliased shed never have the chance again and too a mass family photo. over 300 people i believe are in all realted closely to me... it was weird but good at the same time to know my grandfather had so many people in his live

[SG15Z]

I hope things get better for you! Here have some blondies!

[lupo pazzesco]

What my sister did

First of all, thanks to everyone for the support, as always it's very muchily appreciated.

RW, as for what my sister did? Settle in. It's a tale.

Now, during the funeral itself, she wasn't too bad. But I need to explain a few background points.

1. my mom is not handling grandpa's death well at ALL. She cried all through the service, and she's just barely holding it together. He wasn't her bio father, but he was more her father than her real one, (to the point that, even though she divorced my dad, she was still listed as his daughter in the obit) so she's really hurting.

2. I'm a very hyperaware person, and I startle easily when someone sneaks up behind me. (Much to the joy of some friends, who think it's interesting to see what noises I'll make)

3. My sister is a self-centered, petty little bitch who thinks the world revolves around her, and may the heavens help you if you do anything to cross her path. She's also bi-polar (I think) and has serious anger issues, to the point that if you're not careful, and you do something like say potato wrong, she's screaming at you.

I think that's good enough setup.

Friday, after the funeral, I get up and my mom and stepdad are at work. It's just the she-beast and me. I ask innocently which food is safe for me to eat. (because heaven forbid I touch ANY food that belongs to HER). She said she didn't know, so I joked about wasting away, starving because she didn't know and mom wasn't home for me to ask. She proceeds to slam her bowl in the sink and says, "You know WHAT?! Shut UP! Stop being so stupid!!"

My response was something along the lines of "Well, you're cranky, so I'm just gonna go back to my room now. Buh bye!"

Two minutes later, my mom calls me from work, saying she doesn't know why my sister is calling her bitching and screaming about cereal, but I can eat anything that isn't hers.

yup, she tattled. My 23 year old sister tattled. Over cereal.

I go back out to the pantry, grumbling about some people having the maturity levels of a six year old, not realizing my sister was still out there. Normally, after she flips a bitch, she seethes in her room for a while. She gets even more upset and starts screaming at me again.

Not sure what, exactly, she was saying, I tend to tune her out when she goes on her rants. I do know I responded to a few choice barbs because I'm stupid like that and couldn't let everything slide. I never raised my voice, rather I was more amused at her stupidity by this point, and I go to the pantry, and open the door to peruse the cereal selections. (Another quick note. My mom has this HUGE pantry, with beautiful glass and white wood doors.)

And then I realize there's someone standing inches behind me. (Remember that whole jumpy/hyperaware bit?) And I hear my sister's voice in my ear, to the point that I literally felt her breath.

"If you don't shut the fuck up once and for all, I'm putting your head through that glass door."

I reacted. And I don't react well when someone is THAT close and threatening me. I spun, and before I realized it, I have her by the throat and I'm pushing her away. She comes at me, clawing and screaming, and I grab her arm and by the throat again, and take her down to the floor. She thinks she can take me because I've never truly fought with her before, more of a lazy, batting at a ball of yarn cat kind of way, so she usually ends up on top.

I hope to hell she realized that she can't take me, but who knows. The fight ended when I let up and walked away. I have to admit, I was rather shaken. It's been a long time since I've reacted that violently and physically, too. And because of my sister? I still have a little knot in my stomach whenever I think about it.


There was a second incident that saturday. Mom had the day off, so she and I decided to go for coffee. It's our thing. whenever I'm in town, we hit at least one coffee shop. Well, the she-beast decided that that day she HAD to go to the mall. She NEEDED to go to the mall. Well, she doesn't like going out alone, but no one really wants to go anywhere with her because, what starts out as a simple outing to a store turns into 5 hours of her dictating everything. So, I refused to take a bus up there with her. Mom refused to drive her. She had woken up cranky that morning again, so we didn't really want to deal with her. She storms out of the house in a huff.

Five minutes later, she calls the house, telling my mom she missed her bus. Ok, and...?

Turns out she really did need to go to the mall, because she had to pay something on one of her myriad credit cards. Mk, fine, whatever. I in the meantime had checked my email, and B&N had sent coupons! Yay, coupons! I ask my mom if maybe we can go to the bookstore, which has a coffee shop in it. Bonus being, it's right across from the mall. We can drop off the she-beast, she can do her thing, and either come find us, or call when she's done. Win/win, right? Mom says it's a great idea, everyone gets what they want, so go tell her.

Holy flaming hell, was THAT a mistake. She-beast explodes, and starts screaming that I'm a vile, selfish, greedy, fat little bitch, and that SHE doesn't want to wait around forever while I spend 1476805948 hours in a bookstore. And so on and so forth. Another fight erupted between her and my mom, more screaming matches, and she marches into the computer room where I'm trying to print coupons and tells me to get the fuck off HER account because I'm a miserable bitch, etc, etc.

My reaction was to blurt out, "What are you, 10?! 'Oh noz, you made me mad, you can't play with my toys no more!!'"

Probably not the smartest move, ever.

Mom finally says that's it, enough. offer was made. offer rejected, so fuck it, we're going to go to our usual starbuck's and sister can hoof it to the mall on her own. No point wasting gas on an ungrateful wretch. so, we head out. Sister realizes we're leaving and comes running out of the house. She proceeds to fling herself on the hood of my mother's car, and sits there, telling us if she cant' leave the house, neither can we!

Oh, by this point, Lupo is well and truly PISSED. I get out of the car, and go around. She climbs off the hood and gets two inches away from my face, and says, "Go ahead! Hit me! Do it so I can call the cops and have them arrest you're stupid fat ass!"

she starts screaming some more about how we're both selfish now, and we don't care about the fact that we're not the only ones who lost grandpa, and that she hoped I was the next one to die, and that she'd never go to my funeral. We're just too selfish and we don't care about her at ALL. Mom tells her to shut the fuck up or get out of her house, and we leave.

Literally less than a minute later, my cell phone is ringing. Yup, it's the she-beast.

Now, earlier, we'd arranged for her to babysit my cousin's kids because my cousin and I needed to get out and spend time together. She and I are close, and she's a wreck because she was probably the closest grandkid to grandpa, and she wasn't doing so hot. She and I needed to get together and mourn together because we'd been holding up for everyone else.

Well, she-beast said that since SHE wasn't allowed to go out and have fun, neither were we, and essentially we could just die in a fire, because she wasn't babysitting.

I didn't get to go out with my cousin. I really needed it. We couldn't find another sitter in time, so we were both screwed.

Later that night, I asked mama if she and stepdad wanted to go out to dinner, my treat. She-beast had one of her mood swings and came along. She ordered damn near $20 by herself, and this was at Denny's. Mama got one of the steak platters there, and it was only around $12!! She-beast gorges out, and when the bill comes, looks smugly at me and thanks me for paying.

W. T. F?!?!?!

She says she heard I was treating, so she purposefully didn't bring any money. Mama and stepdad didn't either, for the same reason. (though I did actually offer to pay for THEM)

Bitch. Mama requested I not make a scene, and that she'd pay me back. I refused. SHE'S not the one who owes me and it's only because I was worried about mama that I didnt' decide to leave the bitch there to work off her tab.

So, that's what happened in just TWO days while I was home for 4 whole days total. I'm still kinda wrung out, and haven't talked to the she-beast since. It's just another couple items to add to the list of her trespasses and atrocities.

So incredibly sorry for the lenght, but if you managed to slog through my muddled rhetoric, I salute you.

The end. (For now)

[BookstoreEscapee]

Wow. Your sister is...wow.... When someone dies it's usually best to give other people some slack, because people react to things in different ways, but she seriously sounds like she needs some professional help.


I met two of my cousins for the first time at my grandmother's funeral (almost 8 years ago, now). Haven't seen 'em since then, either (I also have two other cousins I have yet to meet).

Funerals are hard. It's strange how much laughter tends to happen at them, though. Just take things one day at a time and they eventually get back to normal.

[SG15Z]

2. I'm a very hyperaware person, and I startle easily when someone sneaks up behind me. (Much to the joy of some friends, who think it's interesting to see what noises I'll make)

You really shouldn't have told me that.

yup, she tattled. My 23 year old sister tattled. Over cereal.

Wow...just wow.

Later that night, I asked mama if she and stepdad wanted to go out to dinner, my treat. She-beast had one of her mood swings and came along. She ordered damn near $20 by herself, and this was at Denny's. Mama got one of the steak platters there, and it was only around $12!! She-beast gorges out, and when the bill comes, looks smugly at me and thanks me for paying.

She ate $20 worth of food at Denny's?! eh...a...i....o............ man she can eat...

So incredibly sorry for the lenght, but if you managed to slog through my muddled rhetoric, I salute you.

The end. (For now)

I salute you back.

[lupo pazzesco]

Wow. Your sister is...wow.... When someone dies it's usually best to give other people some slack, because people react to things in different ways

Normally, I'd agree, but this is how she is on a regular basis. I'd be willing to cut her some slack considering the circumstances, but she's pretty much ALWAYS like this when she doesn't get her way.

You really shouldn't have told me that.

I should also mention that while I do make interesting noises, I also tend to react by taking a swing in the direction of whatever startled me, is.

But hey, go for it! It should prove interesting.

She ate $20 worth of food at Denny's?! eh...a...i....o............ man she can eat...

No shit. It was a meal, plus a drink, plus an appetizer, PLUS she added soup to the meal and uuuurrrggghhh...

I had fish and chips. And a salad. And I was stuffed.

And she still wanted dessert!! No frickin' way. So aggravating

[RetailWorkhorse]

.........*Grabs a notebook from his pocket*

Name, address, place she hangs out the most, address of work if she has a job, and a list of her allergies, please.

You. Do. NOT. Treat. Your. Siblings. Like. THAT! Fuck, EQ and I fight enough to draw blood and bruise bones (haven't broke one yet) but even then we're talking to each other by the end of the night!