sisters and weddings!

[Rine]

This is long and packed with pitiful drama. So, I have four lovely sisters and we usually get along quite well. One sister is older than me by five years and one is younger than me by fourteen months. The younger one is pregnant.

Okay, so the older one was asked by her boyfriend of four years to get married. This happened one month ago. Two months ago, the younger, pregnant one was asked by her boyfriend of eight months to marry.

Pregnant sister (PS) is mad at my older sister (OS) for wanting to get married in the same year that she wants to get married. PS wants to get married first. OS says PS needs to worry/think about her baby first and not waste money that she DOES NOT have on a wedding. OS is much better off finacially and doesn't have any children nor is she expecting.

To make matters worse, our mother is supporting OS much more than PS, because mother hates hates hates PS's boyfriend (the father of the child.) OS's boyfriend is practically part of the family now.

Personally, I want my pregnant sister to wait. She needs to wait until she is firmly on her feet and completely sure that this relationship is going to work before she spends money on a wedding. OS has lived with her boyfriend for four years. PS has not lived with her boyfriend yet.

I don't know why PS is trying to rush to do everything "first." She already rubbed it in my older sister's face that she's the first to have children and she'll be the first to get married. PS is also mad that mother is probably going to give money to OS to help with the wedding, but doesn't want to give PS money because she thinks the marriage should wait.

Both sisters are always trying to get things out of me and asking me what the other is planning. They have both told me their elaborate plans for their marriages and so forth, but I am not saying a word to them about the other's plans.

Oh yeah, did I mention that OS's engagement was a complete surprise for OS and PS bought the damn ring that her boyfriend used to propose to her and arranged where it was going to happen?

So, OS wants to marry in October 2010 and PS wants to marry in March 2010. They are at odds because they know that mother's family won't be able to come down here twice in one year for a wedding. I think, also, that OS is hurt that PS is trying to do everything before she can...well, like I told OS--PS will have another first--a divorce!


I'm just at my wits end and tired of the bickering. What would y'all do?

[Amina516]

You can be there as a sister and listen to their concerns, but as far as narcing on either of them...I wouldnt.

PS will soon realize that she will not be able to afford the elaborate wedding that she is probably planning. Im hoping that her hormones will subside once baby is born and maybe common sense will kick in. Either way...theres nothing wrong with getting married in the same year, me and my favorite, very close cousin did it. The family was happy to have 2 huge parties in one year. If you can get them both to realize that is NOT a competition, it might be smoother for all involved.

I wish them both lots of luck. Its no fun getting married and not having the entire family actively participating and happy.

[AnaKhouri]

I think you're doing the right thing by staying out of it! Don't pass messages or gossip between them, it will only make things worse.

As if it matters, I think PS does need to wait to be married- my brother didn't marry the mothers (yeah, motherS) of his kids and it turned out for the best. It's much easier to dump someone than get a divorce.

[Writer Cath]

Stay out of it, but she should totally wait.

My dad and I once photographed a wedding where the bride was nine months pregnant. During the formals she started feeling really unwell, so we stopped early to let her get a rest.

Of course, then they were mad they didn't have enough pictures

[BookstoreEscapee]

PS needs to grow up.

If they try to get you to tell them things you don't want to tell, just flat out say "I'm not getting in the middle of this."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

PS needs to grow up.

If they try to get you to tell them things you don't want to tell, just flat out say "I'm not getting in the middle of this."

I can't say better than that.

[BethB]

As an older (oldest of 5 kids) sister I learned to play low-key while my youngest sister was always about the drama and being center of attention. Not so much now that she has kids and we have something in common but that could be what's happening with your sister. If your older sister was always the low-key one and younger was center of attention, younger sis may have issues with no longer being the one in the spotlight and will do whatever it takes to trump older sister regardless of future consequences.

Younger sis does not need to be married to the baby daddy. I didn't marry when I got preggers with my older two and thank goodness for that. We could not get along as a couple. His personality infuriated me. And I married the boy's dad five yrs into our relationship. It's best to wait. Besides she'll be center of attention once Jr. makes his or her grand entrance. No way older sis can one up that.