Seriously, need out of this job.
It's only an hour and a half into my shift and I can barely keep my eyes open because I just could not sleep this afternoon. Even taking a sleeping pill I could not get to sleep this afternoon. This is becoming more common every single day, my body is resisting sleeping during the day, it wants to sleep at night again.
Not only am I not being able to sleep, I'm realizing for me to drive to work will burn a gallon of gas a day, which is becoming increasingly more expensive by the minute again, to take the bus to work is an hour long endeavor.
The pay here isn't that great either... only $9.25 an hour, if I wanted to go 2 miles further there are call centers paying $11-$13 an hour plus tuition reimbursement... or work 2 miles from home I could bump myself up to $9.50 plus tuition reimbursement.
Honestly, I don't know what is keeping me here.
It's not out of love for management... if it weren't for all the shit that me and the other long timers do this place would go under in a week.
It's not really for love of coworkers either, unlike the call center were there are over a dozen people I still miss from over there, here there might be 3 that I miss, and that's being generous.
I do have to admit that I like a lot of the guests, but I can get just as many good (and bad) guests almost anywhere else too.
The saddest thing is though, that this isn't the first time I've had someone point out a much better job for me, and it may not be the last. There are two jobs that I didn't even apply for when I had the chance because I've started to come to believe that I don't deserve good things in my life... after all, every good thing I've had has been lost. I've had a bike stolen, two laptops stolen (one from a home invasion, one from a thieving roommate), a blu ray player stolen (most likely a thieving roommate), I've found that I've bitten off more than I can chew for classes and ended up failing miserably... and as far as a social life... this is it... the people I know here and on gaygeeks...
I've almost never had anything good, and when I did I either didn't realize it until it was too late and wasted it all away or had it stolen from me... why the hell should I start expecting that good things will happen now. So, I don't even try, because I already know that good things don't happen for guys like me and I'm just wasting my time thinking that they ever will.
ETA- I wonder if prozac (or similar) would help...
It's only an hour and a half into my shift and I can barely keep my eyes open because I just could not sleep this afternoon. Even taking a sleeping pill I could not get to sleep this afternoon. This is becoming more common every single day, my body is resisting sleeping during the day, it wants to sleep at night again.
Not only am I not being able to sleep, I'm realizing for me to drive to work will burn a gallon of gas a day, which is becoming increasingly more expensive by the minute again, to take the bus to work is an hour long endeavor.
The pay here isn't that great either... only $9.25 an hour, if I wanted to go 2 miles further there are call centers paying $11-$13 an hour plus tuition reimbursement... or work 2 miles from home I could bump myself up to $9.50 plus tuition reimbursement.
Honestly, I don't know what is keeping me here.
It's not out of love for management... if it weren't for all the shit that me and the other long timers do this place would go under in a week.
It's not really for love of coworkers either, unlike the call center were there are over a dozen people I still miss from over there, here there might be 3 that I miss, and that's being generous.
I do have to admit that I like a lot of the guests, but I can get just as many good (and bad) guests almost anywhere else too.
The saddest thing is though, that this isn't the first time I've had someone point out a much better job for me, and it may not be the last. There are two jobs that I didn't even apply for when I had the chance because I've started to come to believe that I don't deserve good things in my life... after all, every good thing I've had has been lost. I've had a bike stolen, two laptops stolen (one from a home invasion, one from a thieving roommate), a blu ray player stolen (most likely a thieving roommate), I've found that I've bitten off more than I can chew for classes and ended up failing miserably... and as far as a social life... this is it... the people I know here and on gaygeeks...
I've almost never had anything good, and when I did I either didn't realize it until it was too late and wasted it all away or had it stolen from me... why the hell should I start expecting that good things will happen now. So, I don't even try, because I already know that good things don't happen for guys like me and I'm just wasting my time thinking that they ever will.
ETA- I wonder if prozac (or similar) would help...
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