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  • #1

    Gardening for this beginner

    Got around to hacking down the lawn yesterday (took a couple of hours off work, so I decided to use them). I'm not a gardener by nature, but I made the following observations.

    Defining weeds:

    1) It's bigger than the other stuff around, starting to get fluffy on top, it wasn't there before, and I can pull it out of the ground easily enough.

    Weed.

    2) As above, but can't be pulled out of the ground.

    Tree I'd not noticed growing, but looks like too much effort to be rid of, so it's not a weed.

    3) Possibly been there for a while, sort of got a flower on it.

    Who cares?

    So, keen gardeners, how did I do?

    Rapscallion
    Tags: None
  • #2
    how do you know all the technical terms?
    tell the truth you've got a book haven't you?
    "Light a fire for someone and he will be warm all day,
    set light to someone and he will be warm for the rest of his life" Sir Samuel Vimes

    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

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    • #3
      Google, mate. Google.

      Rapscallion

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      • #4


        Some weeds can get pretty big--I had quite a few that looked like trees, and were actually taller than my house Those took several hours and a shovel to remove.
        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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        • #5
          I was under the impression that weed got you high, and if isn't weed, then it won't get you high.... Not funny? Ok, I'm sorry.
          "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

          ...Beware the voice without a face...

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          • #6
            That reminds me of the family story about why Dad doesn't do anything more complicated than mowing...

            When he was a kid, his mom told him to go weed the flower bed in the backyard. He trundles out there, and finds... holy! The biggest, ugliest plant you could ever imagine. It was hideous, it was huge... must be a weed, right? So he sets to with a will. He hacks at it, he digs around it, after maybe half an hour of hard, sweaty work he finally works the darn thing up out of the ground. Proud of his virtuous, victorious struggle, he takes the corpse of his slain enemy to lay at the feet of his mother.

            Who flips her ever-lovin' lid. I don't know how much that palm tree cost her, but she was Not Happy.

            Dad was never made to do yardwork again. Well, weeding, anyway.

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            • #7
              Although I have several hobbies w/o much 'return', gardening isn't one of them. So I can simplify your cobbled together rules quite a bit Raps:

              Can I eat it?

              No. Weed.

              Yes. Not Weed.

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              • #8
                I've chopped cotton. Which is basically 'weeding' a forty acre cotton field. Not fun. Mostly 'careless' weeds, so called because they could 'care less' where they grow or how hard it is to chop the stubborn things down.
                "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

                Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
                Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

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                • #9
                  "weed" is a relative term. Mint is a weed. It grows like crazy and will take over most other plants in a garden, for example. But many people grow it on purpose for tea and cooking (In a pot, if they're smart. I've seen what mint can do to a garden. Not Pretty).

                  If you think something is ugly, then it's a weed. Destroy it.
                  Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth ThePhoneGoddess View Post
                    "weed" is a relative term.
                    Oregano is the same way. It only respects...... the MACHETE!

                    Also, marijuana was outlawed as a "noxious weed" looonnnnng before it was outlawed as a narcotic in many midwestern states. Apparently it's pretty prolific.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth sms001 View Post
                      Also, marijuana was outlawed as a "noxious weed" looonnnnng before it was outlawed as a narcotic in many midwestern states. Apparently it's pretty prolific.
                      Yes, that's why, in that part of the country, it is referred to as "ditch weed". You drive down a back road in Kansas or Nebraska and you're likely to see hemp or marijuana plants growing 6 to 10 feet tall in the ditches on the side of the road. Of course the stuff is not smokeable, just give you a headache, but yeah, wild marijuana can easily get out of hand.
                      Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Rapscallion View Post
                        Got around to hacking down the lawn yesterday (took a couple of hours off work, so I decided to use them). I'm not a gardener by nature, but I made the following observations.

                        Defining weeds:
                        Easiest way to tell a weed from a flower - if it pulled out of the ground nice and easy, it was a flower

                        DH and I bought out first house a couple of years ago after a lifetime of rentals. So neither of us has a clue, and circumstances have funds for help down to nothing. And of course, the place we got is not a "low maintainence" situation in the least. In some areas we finally decided to stop figuring out what should stay or go and just take it all out, cover with bark, and sit a few planters back in. Minimal is better than jungle I think.

                        Madness takes it's toll....
                        Please have exact change ready.

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                        • #13
                          Had another prod of it today. A bit more compost on the remains of the lawn, along with the seed to help patch it, and then uprooted some more stuff.

                          Judging by the smell on my hands, my garden has mint in it.

                          Or had.

                          Rapscallion

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                          • #14
                            Kangaroo vine is wonderful to cover up that which you don't want seen...

                            sadly that includes...(but not limited to...)
                            • the yard
                            • the porch
                            • the house
                            • the foundation
                            • the front steps
                            • the roof


                            ALMOST as bad as kudzu
                            It is by snark alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire 'tude, the lips acquire mouthiness, the glares become a warning.

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                            • #15
                              A weed is any plant in the wrong place.

                              Simply define the garden as a wilderness meadow and then you hove no work to do on it save keeping it short enough for the postie to get through!
                              Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them. ~ The 57th Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition.

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