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God, I hate job hunting.
I lost my job after Comic Con and am currently hunting for another one. This is not a fun experience, and I would please like to address all my potential future employers or those I come into contact with in that context.
1) Thank you so much to all the companies out there that have now completely gotten rid of the paper application process and now moved to completely online. Instead of giving me a chance to come in, introduce myself, and fill out an application and turn in a resume, I now have to completely guess what keywords your online system is flagged to look for before it decides to forward an application on to where a human might actually read it. I also deeply appreciate the fact that you only have space on the automated form for the last three jobs you've had - when the jobs are all temp contract work, I don't have the ability to show that I am qualified for the job because prior to March of this year I managed a furniture showroom for 5 years. I also like that 50 point questionaire that you give me, thereby determining if I am a serial killer or someone who might decide to go off the deep end and go postal while at work one day.
2) When you tell me that you'll call me by 5:00 pm the next day to let me know if I got the job or not, and promise to call either way, do not get pissed off if I call at 4:55pm the next day because I haven't heard from you. I'm sorry if it's percieved as being a pain in the ass - if you expect me to be truthful when it comes to my employment history and the fact you're running a background and credit check, then don't get pissed when I call to follow up. It's called being proactive. I have no clue when that became such a detriment to finding a job, but I'm willing to bet it's related to the amount of time you all spend pissing and moaning that you can't find quality help.
3) I stated multiple times in my resume online where it's visible to see that I do not want to do commission only work nor anything relating to insurance. This is placed prominantly before my contact information, and therefore if you call me offering me a commission only job or one working in insurance or a combination of the two, I will assume that you are insulting my intelligence because
a) You are assuming I can't get hired elsewhere and will be begging you to take me
b) You assumed I would be interested in working for a company who's PR department has absolutely no sense of reading comprehension
and react accordingly. I know right off the bat it won't work out because intelligence scares you and I guarantee within two weeks I'd have your position or one higher than yours.
4) No, I am not interested in working for your check cashing business run from overseas.
5) Do not look at me like a deer in the headlights when I turn in an online application, then happen to be in the area the next two days and come in to introduce myself and hand in a paper copy of my resume. I know not many people do it anymore (my last job, I was the only one out of 70+ to do so and get hired) but you do not need to look at me or react as if I'm going to rob the place. Perhaps I set off a red flag as a psychopath on the 50 question questionaire online that warrants your reaction. You do not need to threaten to call the cops on me for tresspassing.
6) Do not be insulted when you ask me if I have applied to other companies and I tell you that yes, I have. When I tell you that this is the job I want, as I am being proactive with getting said job, don't insult me by saying I must not want it because I applied elsewhere. I could call out your hipocracy saying as to how your company was one who spammed my email inbox with a standard message that gets sent to EVERYONE WHO REGISTERS ON THE SITE but that would require actual thinking which would threaten the disconnect you blissfully have with the real world.
7) Do not be upset with me if I'm 5 minutes early for the interview and dare to tell me I'm not punctual. I guarantee you the first sentence in the employee handbook or the first thing you'd say to me if you were my boss was "We expect you to be here 15 minutes early before your shift starts." To consider the fact I treat the interview the same way as something that is negative is moronic.
8) I know I'm overqualified for the position. I wouldn't be trying for a part time minimum wage job unless I knew that. I'm sorry you feel threatened by the fact that I have far more experience than you do, but you can either bring on another mouth breather and watch your company struggle or take advantage of the fact that I have that experience and will be able to do wonders for your company.
9) Don't lecture me on the importance of being on time when you're 20 minutes late for the interview with no excuse.
10) I'm a white male. I understand that I belong to the most hated demographic that many people blame for everything wrong with the world. I cannot change this, much the same way you cannot change your sex or race (and be sure to let everyone know it either outside or inside the office). If you look down on me for being white or male, or expect me to engage in such banter because I am such, do not be suprised if I walk out of the interview. This includes feminists who use the term "the male of the species." Just seriously knock it off.
11) You have no business asking me about my political views, my religious views, or my sexual orientation. As long as I'm not putting "HOPE" stickers all over my cubicle like the receptionist is or getting into debates, it's my own damned views, thank you very much. Wether I'm straight or gay, you'll never know since I don't engage with flirtatious behavior at work nor do I "dip the company pen in the company ink" to use the vernacular. In fact, the only question that you might possibly be justified in asking me pertaining to religion is if I expect sunday mornings or any other similar time off each week to participate in any religious services. If I say "yes", this isn't an invitation to go digging into my beliefs or what church I go to. If I say "no" then it's even more innapropriate for you to ask me why not.
12) When you ask me to describe a situation where I acted with integrity, and then respond that it sounds rehearsed, OF COURSE IT SOUNDS REHEARSED YOU IDIOTS. You ALL use the same damned questionnaire or the same questions you read about in a magazine about what to ask new hires. There are NO curveballs to people that are prepared to answer questions in this market. Would you have preferred I just sat there and drooled for two minutes?
Urge to kill, fading...
I lost my job after Comic Con and am currently hunting for another one. This is not a fun experience, and I would please like to address all my potential future employers or those I come into contact with in that context.
1) Thank you so much to all the companies out there that have now completely gotten rid of the paper application process and now moved to completely online. Instead of giving me a chance to come in, introduce myself, and fill out an application and turn in a resume, I now have to completely guess what keywords your online system is flagged to look for before it decides to forward an application on to where a human might actually read it. I also deeply appreciate the fact that you only have space on the automated form for the last three jobs you've had - when the jobs are all temp contract work, I don't have the ability to show that I am qualified for the job because prior to March of this year I managed a furniture showroom for 5 years. I also like that 50 point questionaire that you give me, thereby determining if I am a serial killer or someone who might decide to go off the deep end and go postal while at work one day.
2) When you tell me that you'll call me by 5:00 pm the next day to let me know if I got the job or not, and promise to call either way, do not get pissed off if I call at 4:55pm the next day because I haven't heard from you. I'm sorry if it's percieved as being a pain in the ass - if you expect me to be truthful when it comes to my employment history and the fact you're running a background and credit check, then don't get pissed when I call to follow up. It's called being proactive. I have no clue when that became such a detriment to finding a job, but I'm willing to bet it's related to the amount of time you all spend pissing and moaning that you can't find quality help.
3) I stated multiple times in my resume online where it's visible to see that I do not want to do commission only work nor anything relating to insurance. This is placed prominantly before my contact information, and therefore if you call me offering me a commission only job or one working in insurance or a combination of the two, I will assume that you are insulting my intelligence because
a) You are assuming I can't get hired elsewhere and will be begging you to take me
b) You assumed I would be interested in working for a company who's PR department has absolutely no sense of reading comprehension
and react accordingly. I know right off the bat it won't work out because intelligence scares you and I guarantee within two weeks I'd have your position or one higher than yours.
4) No, I am not interested in working for your check cashing business run from overseas.
5) Do not look at me like a deer in the headlights when I turn in an online application, then happen to be in the area the next two days and come in to introduce myself and hand in a paper copy of my resume. I know not many people do it anymore (my last job, I was the only one out of 70+ to do so and get hired) but you do not need to look at me or react as if I'm going to rob the place. Perhaps I set off a red flag as a psychopath on the 50 question questionaire online that warrants your reaction. You do not need to threaten to call the cops on me for tresspassing.
6) Do not be insulted when you ask me if I have applied to other companies and I tell you that yes, I have. When I tell you that this is the job I want, as I am being proactive with getting said job, don't insult me by saying I must not want it because I applied elsewhere. I could call out your hipocracy saying as to how your company was one who spammed my email inbox with a standard message that gets sent to EVERYONE WHO REGISTERS ON THE SITE but that would require actual thinking which would threaten the disconnect you blissfully have with the real world.
7) Do not be upset with me if I'm 5 minutes early for the interview and dare to tell me I'm not punctual. I guarantee you the first sentence in the employee handbook or the first thing you'd say to me if you were my boss was "We expect you to be here 15 minutes early before your shift starts." To consider the fact I treat the interview the same way as something that is negative is moronic.
8) I know I'm overqualified for the position. I wouldn't be trying for a part time minimum wage job unless I knew that. I'm sorry you feel threatened by the fact that I have far more experience than you do, but you can either bring on another mouth breather and watch your company struggle or take advantage of the fact that I have that experience and will be able to do wonders for your company.
9) Don't lecture me on the importance of being on time when you're 20 minutes late for the interview with no excuse.
10) I'm a white male. I understand that I belong to the most hated demographic that many people blame for everything wrong with the world. I cannot change this, much the same way you cannot change your sex or race (and be sure to let everyone know it either outside or inside the office). If you look down on me for being white or male, or expect me to engage in such banter because I am such, do not be suprised if I walk out of the interview. This includes feminists who use the term "the male of the species." Just seriously knock it off.
11) You have no business asking me about my political views, my religious views, or my sexual orientation. As long as I'm not putting "HOPE" stickers all over my cubicle like the receptionist is or getting into debates, it's my own damned views, thank you very much. Wether I'm straight or gay, you'll never know since I don't engage with flirtatious behavior at work nor do I "dip the company pen in the company ink" to use the vernacular. In fact, the only question that you might possibly be justified in asking me pertaining to religion is if I expect sunday mornings or any other similar time off each week to participate in any religious services. If I say "yes", this isn't an invitation to go digging into my beliefs or what church I go to. If I say "no" then it's even more innapropriate for you to ask me why not.
12) When you ask me to describe a situation where I acted with integrity, and then respond that it sounds rehearsed, OF COURSE IT SOUNDS REHEARSED YOU IDIOTS. You ALL use the same damned questionnaire or the same questions you read about in a magazine about what to ask new hires. There are NO curveballs to people that are prepared to answer questions in this market. Would you have preferred I just sat there and drooled for two minutes?
Urge to kill, fading...
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