Lost My Job

[Heksubah]

After a hell week at work, after slaving away for weeks to clear out queues and actually seeing progress, I've lost my job. It is my own fault.

Unfortunately I live with family at the moment and have spent the last 24 hours being subjected to horribly degrading verbal sewage so I'm beginning to feel like I am worthless and capable of nothing at all. I'm pushing 30, still live with family, can't maintain a job to save my life, am depressed, and could go on like this for hours saying the same stuff they've been shoving down my throat.

I hate myself.

[MaggieTheCat]

First off, I'm sorry about your job! Can you tell us more about what happened?

Second off, your family sounds like they're being horrible to you. Even if the job situation was your fault, families should be helpful and supportive and offer constructive criticism, not degrading, derogatory assmunches, especially during a time of need, when you're already beating yourself up.

Third, it's actually not that uncommon for people to still live with their parents in their late 20s/early 30s or later. I have at least two friends who have fulltime jobs who live with their families. I also had a teacher when I was in HS who was in his 40s and still lived at home. Especially with the economy in the crapper the way it is, it's much less expensive to live with family or a bunch of roommates if you can.

I hope things get better for you soon! We're all here for you.

[Heksubah]

I have had ongoing issues with migraines and anxiety attacks for several years now. Between the two of them I missed a couple days and received a warning about it. Since that time I was doing very good with my attendance, and had always been working very hard at my job and was making major progress to clear the queues I had to work. Last week I got pulled over speeding and was 15 minutes late to work on Thursday. I asked my boss and got permission to come in early on Friday to make it up and was under no impression at all that there was a problem. Last night I got called from my staffing company saying the assignment was ended because I'd been late.

[Jester]

Sounds like you worked at a crappy job, to be honest.

Look, losing your job sucks. Having those around you berate you for it makes it that much worse.

But what you do about it is what matters. You can sit there and mope and sulk and cry and feel sorry for yourself. Hell, you might want to do that for the rest of the day, just to get that negative energy out of you.

But it is true that when one door closes, another opens. This may turn out to be a good opportunity for you to improve on your occupational status. In other words, you might find that this gives you the reason to go get a better job than the one you had.

If I were you, tomorrow I would spruce up the old resume, do some laundry,maybe even get a haircut, and start checking the newspaper for jobs. Then on Wednesday, I would hit the pavement in your best jobhunting clothes, plenty of copies of your resume with you, a pen or two, and find yourself a new job, set up interviews, etc.

Then, once you get a job, preferably a better one, start saving up to move the fuck out, get your own place, and throw a party for all of CS to attend. I'll spring for the beer, you get the wine.

[csquared]

Then, once you get a job, preferably a better one, start saving up to move the fuck out, get your own place, and throw a party for all of CS to attend. I'll spring for the beer, you get the wine.

Jester is right (and not just about the party). You have to get away from the poison. It will do a lot for the migraines and anxiety.

[MaggieTheCat]

Jester is right (and not just about the party). You have to get away from the poison. It will do a lot for the migraines and anxiety.

I have to agree here too. I used to get severe migraines when I lived in Wisconsin. That was when I was working a rather stressful job and living with my parents. I now live in Texas, have a much better job, and am living with my wonderful husband, and I have not had a severe migraine in at least 6 or 8 weeks (I can't even remember when my last one was, which is very good for me since toward the end of my employment in Wisconsin, I was getting them once every 1-2 weeks.) And yeah, your job situation sounded crappy. I know LOTS of people who would take a lot more time off work than what you missed, so don't beat yourself up over that.

[Food Lady]

It sounds like they used the 15-mins-late situation to get rid of you because it would be illegal to discriminate against you due to a medical issue. You're better off. I've done lots of temp work and none of it stuck. It's just the way temp work is. It's not you.

[Der Cute]

Hugs, and I hate migraines.

Do you take any meds to fight them, especially if they like to kick you when you're stressed?

I hope it gets better - we're here.

Cutenoob

[NightAngel]

Sorry about the job but maybe you'll find something better.

...start saving up to move the fuck out, get your own place, ...

I was going to say this but Jester already did.

[Heksubah]

I've been tried on so many medications for my migraines that, at this point, I just grin and bear it. Only pain pills seem to effectively help any, the other medications do nothing aside from costing an arm and a leg. They did a ton of tests back when I had insurance: sleep studies, MRI (with and without dye), cat scan (with and without dye), spinal tap, blood work, etc. My migraines seem to have no source and never stop. The pain is there 24/7, it is just a matter of whether it is a good day (functionable) or bad day (hide me in a cave, please!).

As far as the job goes, I'm looking at jobs in cities I would rather live in. I was born in St. Louis (a 4 hour drive from here) and would like to move back so this is my chance to go back. There are lots of good tech jobs all over the country and I've always had an urge to just pack up and find a new place to live so maybe I can use this as my opportunity.

In the meantime I have to deal with hell at home. My family work odd hours and when they are home I have to do what they want, when they want it, because if I don't they'll shove me out the door at a moment's notice and take my car away from me. (I had help getting it from my mother some years back with the intent that once it is paid off the title goes in my name. Not done paying yet, so she likes to wave that title at me whenever I blink wrong in her direction.)

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot.

[MaggieTheCat]

I've been tried on so many medications for my migraines that, at this point, I just grin and bear it. Only pain pills seem to effectively help any, the other medications do nothing aside from costing an arm and a leg. They did a ton of tests back when I had insurance: sleep studies, MRI (with and without dye), cat scan (with and without dye), spinal tap, blood work, etc. My migraines seem to have no source and never stop. The pain is there 24/7, it is just a matter of whether it is a good day (functionable) or bad day (hide me in a cave, please!).

I had a friend who was in pretty much the same situation, back home. She had headaches constantly, and they would often turn into migraines. Nothing worked, and she had been tested for a lot of stuff. She said going to a chiropractor helped, although didn't relieve the pain 100%. But helped. My chiropractor helped me, too. I also now take a supplement called MigraGard:

http://www.herbsmd.com/detail/MigraGard-14671.htm

It's just a feverfew tablet, all natural. I've been on it every day for about 6 weeks now and I think it has helped with my migraine situation. Just things to consider for yourself.

As far as the job goes, I'm looking at jobs in cities I would rather live in. I was born in St. Louis (a 4 hour drive from here) and would like to move back so this is my chance to go back. There are lots of good tech jobs all over the country and I've always had an urge to just pack up and find a new place to live so maybe I can use this as my opportunity.

That sounds like an EXCELLENT idea. You can probably start looking around online whenever you want, and I'd suggest taking a day-trip to the city if you can. Bring lots of copies of your resume and just start looking around town. If you have friends there, maybe even ask if you can spend a night or two with them so you get more time to look. Also, I think it'd be great for you to get out of your parents' house and away from all the negativity for a while. Good luck!

[Heksubah]

I was 14 when I moved away and almost 29 now, so all my old friendships have scattered away with time. I -do- have family out there that I could stay with for a couple days. The family in St. Louis are not like the family I'm living with now, and the few that are I could easily avoid. Most of them are on my dad and stepmom's side, such as my stepsister who I love dearly and get along quite well with.

I actually have a trip planned there in about a month. My boyfriend is visiting (long distance relationship... he's in Ireland. o.O) and I have made him into a Cardinal's fan so we were going to be visiting said stepsister for a weekend. I doubt she would mind if I came for an earlier visit too, or my grandmother would love to have me stay a few nights with her.