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My sister sent me this and it’s too good not to share. The only changes I’ve made are to abbreviate the names and delete email addresses to protect the innocent. 
(Note: I feel guilty about posting the sonnets without referencing the authors but I don’t want to throw random names out into the internet. If you want them pm me.)
-----------
Hi Thuringwethyl,
In the last 24 hours, a raging controversy has erupted on the eng-grads (English grad students) listserv that has divided everyone into bitter enemies and resulted in--what else?--a sonnet war. Only the recall of library books could effect discord at this level, and only at the beginning of the semester do we have the time on our hands to engage our attention in a matter of this monumental import. After all, how important is a trivial thing like the dissertation in the face of an all-absorbing recall controversy? (SOMEONE needs to represent against those cheeky MFAs!)
Just thought that you might enjoy looking through this.
T’s Sister (a proud sometime-to-be-PhD!)
Forwarded conversation
Subject: RECALL: Zeeman - Discourse of Desire
------------------------
From: R
Date: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 11:50 AM
To: eng-grads
If you recalled this, could we work out a share?
Thanks,
R
Piers Plowman and the medieval discourse of desire / Nicolette Zeeman.
Zeeman, Nicolette, 1956-
1 call number:PR2017 .D45 Z44 2006 ID:X004836272
original date due:5/11/2010,23:59
recall date due:8/24/2009,9:32
----------
From: M
Date: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 12:15 PM
To: R
Cc: eng-grads
I'm gonna throw a suggestion out there. Would you lit people consider making up your own list serv for these recalls that doesn't include MFAs? I assure you that we do not have Piers Plowman and the medieval discourse of desire. Nor Sean Penn and the romantic ideal of scandanavian postcolonial transgender bounty. And if we did, we probably wouldn't share them anyway. No offense, we're just rude people. Anyway, thanks in advance,
M
----------
From: S
Date: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 12:29 PM
To: M
Cc: eng-grads
Sorry M, but we're pretty faithful about putting a BS or RECALL flag in the subject line of these messages. So create a filter and quit complaining. And if you ever find yourself needing to share a library book, feel free to let us all know.
S
----------
From: K
Date: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 12:42 PM
To: M
Cc: eng-grads
Greetings to M and the rest of eng-grads.
Since I've been around longer than most of you, I can shed light on
some of the English department listserv history that underlies
present-day usage.
The subject line prefixes BS: and RECALL: were developed long, long
ago to flag "book searches" and recall-related communications. The
purpose of these prefixes is to let the sender encapsulate the gist of
the message in the subject line, so that nobody has to read the whole
message unless they recognize the title / author / other relevant
details as being among the books that they own or have checked out
from the library. If the details in the subject line don't ring a
bell, you can swiftly delete the message. If you doubt that you'll
ever respond to any BS: or RECALL: , then you can set up a filter
within your email program to send such requests to a holding folder or
straight to the trash.
This is a pretty good system that holds up as long as senders are
consistent in using the BS: and RECALL: prefixes.
As for the idea of creating separate lists for MFAs and non-MFAs:
historically, attempts to splinter eng-grads into sub-lists have NOT
worked. New listservs are created, used for a few months, and then
abandoned. Over the [mumble] years that I've been here, the
convenience-to-the-group of a consolidated list has won out over the
convenience-to-the-user of splintered, special-interest lists. Given
the comparatively low level of traffic on eng-grads, a little
irrelevance-to-some has proven tolerable.
Respectfully,
Your long-in-the-tooth correspondent,
K
----------
From: M
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:14 AM
To: S
Cc: eng-grads
I'm guessing "quit complaining" means that you're not inclined to consider it. But I would like to add that it seems strange to insist that everyone who doesn't want to be spammed has to set up a filter, when the people who are doing the spamming could just set up a separate listserv. Plus, anyone who puts the filter on will be forced to miss any eng-grad emails about, say, screenings of Total Recall (which I would for sure want to know about,) or what BS it is that book search people can't make their own listserv. Although now that I'm sending emails out to a bunch of people who don't want to receive them, I can see why you like it. What a thrill. (And if anyone complains I'll tell them to set up a filter and shut up!)
-M
----------
From: J
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:22 AM
To: W
Cc: eng-grads
i'm going to have to step in and say this isn't spam. these are people in your department trying to reach someone who may need the same book. keep it civil, folks.
best wishes for a peaceful semester, friends.
j
----------
From: R
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:26 AM
To: J
Cc: eng-grads
This may be the liveliest response Nicolette Zeeman's book has generated! Oddly, I still haven't heard from the recaller, so I've turned the book in. Perhaps we could still work out a share, if you're still out there?
Best wishes to all,
R
----------
From: E
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:33 AM
To: M
Cc: eng-grads
Hey, here's an idea: how about you set up a new listserv for petulant jackasses?
----------
From: J
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:35 AM
To: E
Cc: eng-grads
/popcorn
JMP
----------
From: Z
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 3:03 PM
To: E
Cc: eng-grads
Dear administrator-
Please sign me up for pet-jackasses.
Thanks,
Z
----------
From: R
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 3:12 PM
To: Z
Cc: E
Hell, I graduated and now having nothing whatsoever to do with the goings on there and I am still on the list. This is by far the most interesting exchange I've been included on. Go M! Be a jackass! Go home team.
R
ex-MFA
----------
From:
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 3:35 PM
To: R, Z
Cc: E
To Alderman she went to check her mail
(A happy break from working hard and long)
Incoming, green, and ready to set sail
O, pillared UVa could do no wrong
Thus met with this epistolary storm
She thought a lively dialogue to find
Ill-met with what is hopef'ly not the norm
The student found herself in a tight bind
For once she thought to seek an MFA
But figured that she could two masters serve
And so she trod the academic way
Hoping to see both loves in one listserv
One thing should not the other thing exclude
Who knew that bookworms had this attitude?
--EAS
From: B
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 2:05 PM
To: eng-grads
One day, a writer, (or was he a poet?)
so tired of pseudo-academic babble,
saw a book title he thought was all wet
and caused an epic email listserv rabble.
He claimed the MFA’s were all offended
(I guess they hate M.A.’s and Ph.D.’s).
He seemed to strike a nerve--others defended
the sacred honor of their own degrees.
But we’re all dumb compared to M.B.A.’s.
We whine about inequity and power,
but we could use these skills in better ways--
a J.D. gets five hundred bucks an hour.
M.D.s are best--they cure and cash big checks
They’d diagnose us all with lack of
----------
From: T
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 2:36 PM
To: B
Cc: eng-grads
Now a Sonnet War is exactly the sort of thing Eng-grads needs more of:
I would that I could understand the way
that small e-mails turn large feelings askew
perhaps it is too hot--there was a day
in which friendly chatter was all to do
but now is all turned to e-mail chatter
in which proud pens against the diss do run
but, truthfully, nothing is the matter
there is just work we wish to have already done
Alas, brave souls, calm your e-mail rancor
for poets and doctors from work shall run
and--as the rose witherèd by canker
we too often choose bitching over good fun.
grab a drink, a poem, or some happy pills
Eng-grads is all fun and intends no ills.
--
------------
T
----------
From: R
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 7:10 PM
To: eng-grads
Ghazal in Time of War
Brazen! Brash! To clash o'er this book I recall!
No worse umbrage have ever I took, I recall!
Strife on the black squares! Strife on the white!
Said the Queen, "it's my last fallen Rook I recall."
Reformed, oh Omar, at your shore side retreat?
Oh, you are not the crook I recall.
"Either this wallpaper goes or I do!" swanned Wilde,
(But let Bosie's be the last look I recall!).
"How soon is now?" you croon through chorus and verse,
Your pain I forget; it's Marr's hook I recall.
In disgrace with fortune and men's eyes?
Ah, these shadows were those you forsook, I recall.
"Talking of axes," said the Duchess, "chop off her head!"
It was Alice glanced up at the cook, I recall.
This is just to say I have eaten my words like plums,
Forgive me, these words you mistook, I recall.
Let flood's draught subside, storm's sparks go dim,
begin stilling the cool, sweet brook I recall.
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: K
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 8:43 PM
Subject: RECALL DEBATE
To: R
Cc: eng-grads
Well, even though I too have graduated, I must inject my voice!! (Just kidding about the !!'s) If only because these fighting words, with a few exceptions--including maybe R's?--have been launched primarily by men, so that this debate is taking on every appearance of a seminar in high theory!
All I want to say is:
Sorry if this blows your cover, M, but rumor has it that you're not rude like you say, but instead a kind of friendly and life-affirming kind of guy....
I say these things only to provoke.
Yours in the struggle,
K
And would all the d****d poets PLEASE remember to put POETRY in the subject line? I'm still on this list primarily for the RECALL e-mails.
(Note: I feel guilty about posting the sonnets without referencing the authors but I don’t want to throw random names out into the internet. If you want them pm me.)
-----------
Hi Thuringwethyl,
In the last 24 hours, a raging controversy has erupted on the eng-grads (English grad students) listserv that has divided everyone into bitter enemies and resulted in--what else?--a sonnet war. Only the recall of library books could effect discord at this level, and only at the beginning of the semester do we have the time on our hands to engage our attention in a matter of this monumental import. After all, how important is a trivial thing like the dissertation in the face of an all-absorbing recall controversy? (SOMEONE needs to represent against those cheeky MFAs!)
Just thought that you might enjoy looking through this.
T’s Sister (a proud sometime-to-be-PhD!)
Forwarded conversation
Subject: RECALL: Zeeman - Discourse of Desire
------------------------
From: R
Date: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 11:50 AM
To: eng-grads
If you recalled this, could we work out a share?
Thanks,
R
Piers Plowman and the medieval discourse of desire / Nicolette Zeeman.
Zeeman, Nicolette, 1956-
1 call number:PR2017 .D45 Z44 2006 ID:X004836272
original date due:5/11/2010,23:59
recall date due:8/24/2009,9:32
----------
From: M
Date: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 12:15 PM
To: R
Cc: eng-grads
I'm gonna throw a suggestion out there. Would you lit people consider making up your own list serv for these recalls that doesn't include MFAs? I assure you that we do not have Piers Plowman and the medieval discourse of desire. Nor Sean Penn and the romantic ideal of scandanavian postcolonial transgender bounty. And if we did, we probably wouldn't share them anyway. No offense, we're just rude people. Anyway, thanks in advance,
M
----------
From: S
Date: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 12:29 PM
To: M
Cc: eng-grads
Sorry M, but we're pretty faithful about putting a BS or RECALL flag in the subject line of these messages. So create a filter and quit complaining. And if you ever find yourself needing to share a library book, feel free to let us all know.
S
----------
From: K
Date: Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 12:42 PM
To: M
Cc: eng-grads
Greetings to M and the rest of eng-grads.
Since I've been around longer than most of you, I can shed light on
some of the English department listserv history that underlies
present-day usage.
The subject line prefixes BS: and RECALL: were developed long, long
ago to flag "book searches" and recall-related communications. The
purpose of these prefixes is to let the sender encapsulate the gist of
the message in the subject line, so that nobody has to read the whole
message unless they recognize the title / author / other relevant
details as being among the books that they own or have checked out
from the library. If the details in the subject line don't ring a
bell, you can swiftly delete the message. If you doubt that you'll
ever respond to any BS: or RECALL: , then you can set up a filter
within your email program to send such requests to a holding folder or
straight to the trash.
This is a pretty good system that holds up as long as senders are
consistent in using the BS: and RECALL: prefixes.
As for the idea of creating separate lists for MFAs and non-MFAs:
historically, attempts to splinter eng-grads into sub-lists have NOT
worked. New listservs are created, used for a few months, and then
abandoned. Over the [mumble] years that I've been here, the
convenience-to-the-group of a consolidated list has won out over the
convenience-to-the-user of splintered, special-interest lists. Given
the comparatively low level of traffic on eng-grads, a little
irrelevance-to-some has proven tolerable.
Respectfully,
Your long-in-the-tooth correspondent,
K
----------
From: M
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:14 AM
To: S
Cc: eng-grads
I'm guessing "quit complaining" means that you're not inclined to consider it. But I would like to add that it seems strange to insist that everyone who doesn't want to be spammed has to set up a filter, when the people who are doing the spamming could just set up a separate listserv. Plus, anyone who puts the filter on will be forced to miss any eng-grad emails about, say, screenings of Total Recall (which I would for sure want to know about,) or what BS it is that book search people can't make their own listserv. Although now that I'm sending emails out to a bunch of people who don't want to receive them, I can see why you like it. What a thrill. (And if anyone complains I'll tell them to set up a filter and shut up!)
-M
----------
From: J
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:22 AM
To: W
Cc: eng-grads
i'm going to have to step in and say this isn't spam. these are people in your department trying to reach someone who may need the same book. keep it civil, folks.
best wishes for a peaceful semester, friends.
j
----------
From: R
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:26 AM
To: J
Cc: eng-grads
This may be the liveliest response Nicolette Zeeman's book has generated! Oddly, I still haven't heard from the recaller, so I've turned the book in. Perhaps we could still work out a share, if you're still out there?
Best wishes to all,
R
----------
From: E
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:33 AM
To: M
Cc: eng-grads
Hey, here's an idea: how about you set up a new listserv for petulant jackasses?
----------
From: J
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 11:35 AM
To: E
Cc: eng-grads
/popcorn
JMP
----------
From: Z
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 3:03 PM
To: E
Cc: eng-grads
Dear administrator-
Please sign me up for pet-jackasses.
Thanks,
Z
----------
From: R
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 3:12 PM
To: Z
Cc: E
Hell, I graduated and now having nothing whatsoever to do with the goings on there and I am still on the list. This is by far the most interesting exchange I've been included on. Go M! Be a jackass! Go home team.
R
ex-MFA
----------
From:
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 3:35 PM
To: R, Z
Cc: E
To Alderman she went to check her mail
(A happy break from working hard and long)
Incoming, green, and ready to set sail
O, pillared UVa could do no wrong
Thus met with this epistolary storm
She thought a lively dialogue to find
Ill-met with what is hopef'ly not the norm
The student found herself in a tight bind
For once she thought to seek an MFA
But figured that she could two masters serve
And so she trod the academic way
Hoping to see both loves in one listserv
One thing should not the other thing exclude
Who knew that bookworms had this attitude?
--EAS
From: B
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 2:05 PM
To: eng-grads
One day, a writer, (or was he a poet?)
so tired of pseudo-academic babble,
saw a book title he thought was all wet
and caused an epic email listserv rabble.
He claimed the MFA’s were all offended
(I guess they hate M.A.’s and Ph.D.’s).
He seemed to strike a nerve--others defended
the sacred honor of their own degrees.
But we’re all dumb compared to M.B.A.’s.
We whine about inequity and power,
but we could use these skills in better ways--
a J.D. gets five hundred bucks an hour.
M.D.s are best--they cure and cash big checks
They’d diagnose us all with lack of
----------
From: T
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 2:36 PM
To: B
Cc: eng-grads
Now a Sonnet War is exactly the sort of thing Eng-grads needs more of:
I would that I could understand the way
that small e-mails turn large feelings askew
perhaps it is too hot--there was a day
in which friendly chatter was all to do
but now is all turned to e-mail chatter
in which proud pens against the diss do run
but, truthfully, nothing is the matter
there is just work we wish to have already done
Alas, brave souls, calm your e-mail rancor
for poets and doctors from work shall run
and--as the rose witherèd by canker
we too often choose bitching over good fun.
grab a drink, a poem, or some happy pills
Eng-grads is all fun and intends no ills.
--
------------
T
----------
From: R
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 7:10 PM
To: eng-grads
Ghazal in Time of War
Brazen! Brash! To clash o'er this book I recall!
No worse umbrage have ever I took, I recall!
Strife on the black squares! Strife on the white!
Said the Queen, "it's my last fallen Rook I recall."
Reformed, oh Omar, at your shore side retreat?
Oh, you are not the crook I recall.
"Either this wallpaper goes or I do!" swanned Wilde,
(But let Bosie's be the last look I recall!).
"How soon is now?" you croon through chorus and verse,
Your pain I forget; it's Marr's hook I recall.
In disgrace with fortune and men's eyes?
Ah, these shadows were those you forsook, I recall.
"Talking of axes," said the Duchess, "chop off her head!"
It was Alice glanced up at the cook, I recall.
This is just to say I have eaten my words like plums,
Forgive me, these words you mistook, I recall.
Let flood's draught subside, storm's sparks go dim,
begin stilling the cool, sweet brook I recall.
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: K
Date: Thu, Aug 20, 2009 at 8:43 PM
Subject: RECALL DEBATE
To: R
Cc: eng-grads
Well, even though I too have graduated, I must inject my voice!! (Just kidding about the !!'s) If only because these fighting words, with a few exceptions--including maybe R's?--have been launched primarily by men, so that this debate is taking on every appearance of a seminar in high theory!
All I want to say is:
Sorry if this blows your cover, M, but rumor has it that you're not rude like you say, but instead a kind of friendly and life-affirming kind of guy....
I say these things only to provoke.
Yours in the struggle,
K
And would all the d****d poets PLEASE remember to put POETRY in the subject line? I'm still on this list primarily for the RECALL e-mails.
"
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