Tweet
Wherein I attempt a Gravekeeper-style post.
I encountered several annoyances today. Individually they were minor, but like the Planeteers, they combined to form a slightly more annoying (but equally powerless) construct. Here goes.
We cannot get out (of the parking lot)
This was a bit of a brain blunder, for both me and the other party. I went to my local grocery store to pick up some supplies. When I parked, I left the car's trunk facing the other parking space, not the drive space. That was a bad idea, and I only realized the problem until after I was carrying my grocery cart back to the car. There was an empty parking space behind me, giving me room to get to my bumper. But in the half-minute it took to load all of my 2 bags, someone pulled in.
Great timing, now I'm trapped with a shopping cart between 4 cars. Virtually no room to squeeze the cart out. Now this was my brain fart, I didn't think to get back in my car and pull out a little, to make space. Instead I foolishly backed the cart between 2 cars. It looked like I had enough room, until the handle smacked the side mirrors of both cars. One of those cars belonged to the woman who just pulled up. She was a mite annoyed with me, I apologized.
I felt like the world's biggest moron. On the other hand, the parking lot wasn't crowded, and the woman saw I was putting away groceries, and she did wait. But I guess the few extra seconds it would have taken for me to finish loading and get out of her way was too much. Also a brain fart on her part.
Next time I go shopping I'm putting a neon sign in my car: park far away from the doors.
Barely beating the parking patrol
After groceries, Mom and I drove downtown to visit my aunt. Usually when we visit, it's during the evening, and we pay for parking right on the street. This time it was after 3:30pm, and the parking meter would not accept my money. Puzzled, I looked at the sign, which read "parking enforced 9:30a-3:30p, Mon-Fri". I thought that meant we could park freely after 3:30. But aunt and others got nervous, and insisted I park at a paid lot. I was annoyed, but fortunately I didn't dig my heels in too deeply.
Just as I was walking back to the car, a parking enforcement vehicle pulled up right behind. I broke into a run, knocked on his glass. I politely asked him why the parking meter wasn't taking my money, and he explained I wasn't supposed to park here at all after 3:30pm. I wonder if he was expecting me to go ballistic SC? If so he was disappointed (or not). I thanked him, and made like a bat out of hell to get my car out of there. From the look of it, the man had a ticket out, but hadn't written anything on it yet. I'm sure he got my license plate, but hopefully I got out in time. Very lucky.
My eyes! I'm blind!
But I wasn't so lucky as I returned from re-parking the car. As I headed back to aunt's apartment, I saw a sight that will scar me for life. In one of the very transparent windows of a nearby building, I saw something horrifying.
Boobs. Extremely saggy boobs.
Someone was pressed up against the glass of the window, topless, with arms spread like they were praying. For what? Botox? What made this sight so terrifying was I could not discern if the owner of said saggage was male or female. Mere words cannot suffice. Nor can brain bleach, I think I need to have my eyes surgically removed
Excuse me Sir...
Just after the exhibitionist saggage incident, I was approached by an older lady with the aforementioned words.
Why thank you Ma'am, thank you for the Knighthood. For the moment I must ask that you postpone presenting my with my lance. I would be more tempted to impale my head with it right now. And yes, you are excused. Excused from asking me for whatever it is you were going to ask. Whatever it was, I will never know, nor will I ever care, as I lost any scintilla of nano-interest I had for your concerns before you even opened your mouth. Good day.
Okay, so my day of annoyances wasn't anywhere near the epic stupidity of GK's callers. On the other hand I am going to meet my friend for dinner shortly. The day is not yet over...
I encountered several annoyances today. Individually they were minor, but like the Planeteers, they combined to form a slightly more annoying (but equally powerless) construct. Here goes.
We cannot get out (of the parking lot)
This was a bit of a brain blunder, for both me and the other party. I went to my local grocery store to pick up some supplies. When I parked, I left the car's trunk facing the other parking space, not the drive space. That was a bad idea, and I only realized the problem until after I was carrying my grocery cart back to the car. There was an empty parking space behind me, giving me room to get to my bumper. But in the half-minute it took to load all of my 2 bags, someone pulled in.
Great timing, now I'm trapped with a shopping cart between 4 cars. Virtually no room to squeeze the cart out. Now this was my brain fart, I didn't think to get back in my car and pull out a little, to make space. Instead I foolishly backed the cart between 2 cars. It looked like I had enough room, until the handle smacked the side mirrors of both cars. One of those cars belonged to the woman who just pulled up. She was a mite annoyed with me, I apologized.
I felt like the world's biggest moron. On the other hand, the parking lot wasn't crowded, and the woman saw I was putting away groceries, and she did wait. But I guess the few extra seconds it would have taken for me to finish loading and get out of her way was too much. Also a brain fart on her part.
Next time I go shopping I'm putting a neon sign in my car: park far away from the doors.
Barely beating the parking patrol
After groceries, Mom and I drove downtown to visit my aunt. Usually when we visit, it's during the evening, and we pay for parking right on the street. This time it was after 3:30pm, and the parking meter would not accept my money. Puzzled, I looked at the sign, which read "parking enforced 9:30a-3:30p, Mon-Fri". I thought that meant we could park freely after 3:30. But aunt and others got nervous, and insisted I park at a paid lot. I was annoyed, but fortunately I didn't dig my heels in too deeply.
Just as I was walking back to the car, a parking enforcement vehicle pulled up right behind. I broke into a run, knocked on his glass. I politely asked him why the parking meter wasn't taking my money, and he explained I wasn't supposed to park here at all after 3:30pm. I wonder if he was expecting me to go ballistic SC? If so he was disappointed (or not). I thanked him, and made like a bat out of hell to get my car out of there. From the look of it, the man had a ticket out, but hadn't written anything on it yet. I'm sure he got my license plate, but hopefully I got out in time. Very lucky.
My eyes! I'm blind!
But I wasn't so lucky as I returned from re-parking the car. As I headed back to aunt's apartment, I saw a sight that will scar me for life. In one of the very transparent windows of a nearby building, I saw something horrifying.
Boobs. Extremely saggy boobs.
Someone was pressed up against the glass of the window, topless, with arms spread like they were praying. For what? Botox? What made this sight so terrifying was I could not discern if the owner of said saggage was male or female. Mere words cannot suffice. Nor can brain bleach, I think I need to have my eyes surgically removed
Excuse me Sir...
Just after the exhibitionist saggage incident, I was approached by an older lady with the aforementioned words.
Why thank you Ma'am, thank you for the Knighthood. For the moment I must ask that you postpone presenting my with my lance. I would be more tempted to impale my head with it right now. And yes, you are excused. Excused from asking me for whatever it is you were going to ask. Whatever it was, I will never know, nor will I ever care, as I lost any scintilla of nano-interest I had for your concerns before you even opened your mouth. Good day.
Okay, so my day of annoyances wasn't anywhere near the epic stupidity of GK's callers. On the other hand I am going to meet my friend for dinner shortly. The day is not yet over...
Comment