Wondering why I bothered...

[lupo pazzesco]

It's Christmas today. I don't have much money, so I told my mom that my present to the family would be to cook Christmas dinner for everyone who lived here. I spent the last 4 hours baking a honey and bourbon glazed ham, baked potatoes, fresh steamed broccoli with homemade cheese sauce and fresh bread from scratch. I told her what time I'd planned for dinner to be finished (Around 5:00)

My stepdad's children came to visit, and I don't mind, because hey, they're family, too! But they said they'd be there around 3:30-4:00, and instead showed up right before I finished dinner, and since none of them said they were hungry, the dinner I spent the last 4 hours making is sitting in the kitchen, getting cold. The bread is getting cold, and the cheese sauce is congealing. It's now 6 and mom and stepdad say they don't want to eat while we have company, even though stepdad's children are urging him to eat, saying they don't mind that we eat dinner while they don't.

Now, they're sitting out, planning what to play on the Wii while dinner gets colder still.

So...why did I bother? I told mom I didn't have money for presents, and instead chose to buy the ingredients to cook, as my "gift" to the family. And it just feels like they're letting that gift go to waste. Am I blowing things out of proportion? It's just what it feels like to me, and when I mentioned I might have to remake the cheese sauce, my sister jumped all over me, telling me to stop acting like a drama queen, and like everything was being ruined.

Sometimes, I hate the holidays. I really do. And now it's almost 6:30, and food's been sitting out, left to cool and congeal for almost 90 minutes, everyone is in the living room laughing and having fun, and I'm sitting in my bedroom, trying not to cry. Joy.

[Evil Queen]

Cross posted from LJ. :P

Lupo, honey, I don't blame you. I'd be upset if they did that to me! And since they aren't looking, can I have a plate of tasty eats?

(What's wrong with me, I'm craving turkey and green bean casserole)

[lupo pazzesco]

Yes, yes, cross posted... :P

Sure, lots of tasty eats...

I'm just wondering if I'm blowing out of proportion because, well, it's THAT time of raging hormones and cravng sweets and salts. >.>

[Midnight12]

they did say they'd be there earlier and didn't say they were eating and are keeping those who haven't eaten from doing so even though said people were urged to eat. And yes it can be a big deal. But apparently not to them. You went to all this trouble and yeah the food is in a sense going to waste. So they need to shut up as that was your gift.

From their point of view you could be, (big emphasis on could) but again they need to understand the trouble you went through and you know maybe arrive on time

[Aethian]

Nope I've had that happen and got totaly irked and almost blew my top.

[Evil Queen]

No, I don't think so. If you are blowing it out, it's not because of hormones. It's because you are a foodie and the mere idea of wasting perfectly good eats is a sign of a very sick mind.

I am not a raging hormone induced bitch right now so I'm convinced of the above arguement. (have I told you about the new meds I'm on? Yow! Happy town here I am!)

[Shards]

Yeah, it really depends on the person if they'd consider this drama queenish of you, and I think it does depend on their appetite. For people who enjoy food, and actively look for good food, like my mother, and (I'm guessing) you, the very notion of leaving good food to go bad is unthinkable (I would guess). To people who aren't really so interested in food, so long as they're sustained, like my dad and me, cold food is still food, so we don't really see a problem. However, we do make an effort not to let food my mother cooked go to waste.

I've had it happen to me, too, and I didn't really mind, but then again, I'm not a foodie. To me, food is just a way to keep the body truckin' on. Yeah, some food tastes better, but it really just boils down to keeping the energy up enough to go about my day and work out when I get the chance. So, to be honest, I think your problem is because of a discrepancy in the perceived importance of food in your life vs theirs. Also, your parents are in a hard place, because it is impolite to eat while you have guests who aren't eating, even if they say they don't mind. It's also impolite to let your good food go to waste, especially with it being your gift to them, so they're not being flippant about it, but there's really no polite thing to do, and it sounds like spending some time with the kids in the living room is helping them to enjoy their Christmas. Perhaps you should go out and play a round with the kids? It's not your perfect dinner like you wanted, but the food, cold as it may be, will still be there when you get back. Christmas is never perfect, but it's spending it with people you care about, and it's enjoying the imperfections (read: Congealed Cheese Sauce) that makes the holiday season worthwhile.

[42_42_42]

Yeah, that sucks, and I'd be pissed, too.
I'm sure it's too late now, but I hope everything turned out okay in the end. At least most of it can be microwaved and be almost as good as to start with.

[Utter_iMADNESS]

I don't think you over reacted.

I cook for my family every one in a while. Since I don't usually cook full meals I tend to go all out when I do. I think the main reason that you're irked is because your family doesn't seem to understand just how much effort went into making the meal and how much it means to you.

I love cooking for my family and friends. Food makes people happy and I enjoy making it. But if I spent 4 hours making a meal and they decided to not eat it until later when it would reduce in quality and taste, I would be mighty pissed off too.

Also, if they eat the food and they find that it doesn't taste very good (since it's been out for long) then they might think that it wasn't much of a gift, and I think that's what you're most worried about.

[Sunsetsky]

You aren't overreacting at all. You worked hard to make that meal and everyone should've showed more appreciation towards it.

Your meal sounded delicious. I'm hungry now.

[Broomjockey]

If it had been just a meal you cooked, then yeah, someone might conceivably think you're just being a drama queen.

But it wasn't just a meal. This was your gift to them. It was more than just a meal. It was an expression of (forgive the possibly over-the-topness) love, really. You spent time, effort, and thought in to creating the meal, same as any home-made gift, and they metaphorically spat on it. It was a dick move, and ungrateful in the extreme on their part. *big hugs for lupo*

[guywithashovel]

I actually got a little annoyed just by reading that. They knew that was your gift to them, and they just let it all sit in there and get cold while they played Wii and messed around in the living room. I don't blame you. I'd be irked as well.

[Shards]

Look, I feel for you, but I'm still coming down on the side of the parents, here. There was no polite thing for them to do, period. Either way, they would be offending some code of decency. I mean, if anything, I would say the step-children should have at least sat down and picked at some of the food even if they weren't hungry, for decency's sake, but since they did not, there was no polite option for lupo's parents. I mean, if no matter what I do, I'm going to be being impolite to something, I'm going to pick people over food every time, so while I agree it was rude, I don't see a better option here for the parents, though again, the step-kids could have avoided the situation entirely.

[Broomjockey]

I mean, if no matter what I do, I'm going to be being impolite to something, I'm going to pick people over food every time

I reread the original post to make sure I had the situation correct, and I do. The kids are going to play Wii, and told them to go eat dinner. At that point, it's not rude to, you know, actually go eat dinner when that dinner has at least some emotional attachment built in to it. It's not a case of "people vs. food." It's "watching kids playing Wii vs. Lupo's gift going to waste, thus disrespecting Lupo."It's "people vs. people." Worse, it's "people who are themselves being impolite vs. someone who was doing something nice for a group." The parents clearly made the wrong choice.

[CaptainJaneway]

If it were me i would say screw them, took a plate for myself and then put the rest in the fridge.

Or even better yet i would wrap all of it up and possibly donate it to a local shelter. They would of appreciate it even more.