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I have been embroiled in a bitter, resentful struggle at work with coworkers over charity. Despite the misery that is our clients customers, my actual company is actually rather good as it were and involved in a ton of community events. Our holiday selection was local charities and food banks for which we did a drive over the holidays.
So how does one turn charity into such a dark and bitter struggle? Easy! Challenge coworkers to a battle royale over who can donate the most raw funds over the duration of our drive. Then take exquisite pleasure in exceeding them every time they drop more money on one of the managers. Typically within seconds while standing right next to them while they shake their fist and course your black heart. Do this back and forth for days in the most ruthless fashion possible whilst hurdling colourful obscenities at each other with pirate like bravado.
Then force them to concede defeat so that one can taste the sweet fruit of victory.
I wasn't expecting any sort of prize for any of this craziness. But the HR manager surprised me by giving me a day off of my choosing, with pay, as thanks for the crazy amount I ending up donating.
So yes, we are most pleased at the spoils.
( ok so he gave one to the runner up too, but still! Victory~ )
So how does one turn charity into such a dark and bitter struggle? Easy! Challenge coworkers to a battle royale over who can donate the most raw funds over the duration of our drive. Then take exquisite pleasure in exceeding them every time they drop more money on one of the managers. Typically within seconds while standing right next to them while they shake their fist and course your black heart. Do this back and forth for days in the most ruthless fashion possible whilst hurdling colourful obscenities at each other with pirate like bravado.
Then force them to concede defeat so that one can taste the sweet fruit of victory.
I wasn't expecting any sort of prize for any of this craziness. But the HR manager surprised me by giving me a day off of my choosing, with pay, as thanks for the crazy amount I ending up donating.
So yes, we are most pleased at the spoils.
( ok so he gave one to the runner up too, but still! Victory~ )
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