So last night I was out and about with my friend Little Red, barhopping and checking out some bands. There were some amusing things that happened, but this is the one I remember with an evil grin.
I was sitting at the bar. Little Red was standing kind of next to me. She had just been talking with a member of the band (they were on break), and he had left to get back on stage. And another guy swooped in started trying to pick her up, both very obviously and very badly. "So do you think you would go out with me tomorrow night?" That kind of stuff. And I was chuckling inside, especially when she started looking at me, pleading with her eyes for help. I waited for the right spot, or until she got desperate.
All this time I was facing them, obviously listening to what the dork was saying, not knowing if he would react to that or how. It was fairly obvious from our posture that Little Red and I knew each other, but Captain Obvious couldn't know how, as in what our relationship was. This entire time, I have said nothing, just quietly sipped my beer. Finally he says some other lame thing to her, and turns to me for "help."
"Dude, are you gonna help me out here?" As if to say, "Come on, man, help me pick up this chick. Give a brother a hand." Looking for Stranger Aid, I guess.
I just looked at him and quietly said, "Not with my baby sister I'm not."
The look on his face was classic. To quote Charlie Daniels, he "bowed his head because he knew that 'he'd been beat." Little Red played right along with it, and the guy had no chance. I mean, seriously, there is not too much you can say to a guy when he tells you he is not going to help you get in the pants of his sister. Some guys with game might have come up with something, but this poor schlub had less game than the exit sign.
I am suck a good friend, and so very very EVIL.
I was sitting at the bar. Little Red was standing kind of next to me. She had just been talking with a member of the band (they were on break), and he had left to get back on stage. And another guy swooped in started trying to pick her up, both very obviously and very badly. "So do you think you would go out with me tomorrow night?" That kind of stuff. And I was chuckling inside, especially when she started looking at me, pleading with her eyes for help. I waited for the right spot, or until she got desperate.
All this time I was facing them, obviously listening to what the dork was saying, not knowing if he would react to that or how. It was fairly obvious from our posture that Little Red and I knew each other, but Captain Obvious couldn't know how, as in what our relationship was. This entire time, I have said nothing, just quietly sipped my beer. Finally he says some other lame thing to her, and turns to me for "help."
"Dude, are you gonna help me out here?" As if to say, "Come on, man, help me pick up this chick. Give a brother a hand." Looking for Stranger Aid, I guess.
I just looked at him and quietly said, "Not with my baby sister I'm not."
The look on his face was classic. To quote Charlie Daniels, he "bowed his head because he knew that 'he'd been beat." Little Red played right along with it, and the guy had no chance. I mean, seriously, there is not too much you can say to a guy when he tells you he is not going to help you get in the pants of his sister. Some guys with game might have come up with something, but this poor schlub had less game than the exit sign.
I am suck a good friend, and so very very EVIL.
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