Sick Behaviour On Internet

[TelephoneAngel]

Ok so maybe I'm naive but I can't believe what just happened.

I do know that not everything on the internet is real, but I was thinking of things like

obviously my name is not really "TelephoneAngel", or someone might change the town where they work in case their boss finds out they are posting, that kind of thing.

Anyway, I am a member of a local community site, we have interesting conversations, we help each other in real life we have meets, that kind of thing.
Quite recently we were joined by another member who posts elsewhere about her two children giving advice about preganancy, and her miscarriage, etc.Nothing to do with me.

However, tonight we found out for definate that she made this all up, and she has no children.

No children that she fled domestic voilence with, as per her postings, no children whose father has nothing to do with them, no children that she suffered through preganancy and labour with, no children whatsoever.

She has never posted on our site about her children but it is well known that she posts elsewhere about her children.

The whole thing is sick.Many members are now asking if we can trust each other, those of us who have not actually met in real life.It has really upset our little community.

I am in shock.

[Flying Grype]

There's always room for this kind of thing in any internet community. Take what you read with a grain of salt until you get a chance to meet someone in real life. I once found out that a guy in an IRC channel where I chatted liked to lurk in chatrooms for teen mothers and pregnant teens, pretending to be one of them, because he had a fetish about pregnant women.

[AnqeiicDemise]

I dated this wonderful guy for about two years online.

And then I realized he was bullshitting (pardon the explicative) about his like a good 90% of the time. He said he was adopted, had a twin sister, blah blah blah.

When we started to get 'serious' (which of course I freaked out a bit as I was only 20), he started tripping up on his lies. It broke my heart because his mom was one of the sweetest people in the world (when I finally got to talk to her on the phone). Turns out he was the middle child, never had a twin and was not adopted.

The boy is sick in the head. His life was a decent, middle-class life and he wasn't satisfied with it so he made up a whole new one. Theirs is a pathology that is hard to understand but the main thing you have to remember is that *you had/have nothing to do with it.*

does it suck that now people question one another? Yes... but it'll blow over soon enough and you'll all be a little wiser for it too. Take it slow and don't let the cynics take over. Remind your group that not everybody is like that..

[Amina516]

Keep in mind..: http://www.fumblog.com/?p=234

Its a joke (above link), but you never know who really is what when theyre online. Part of the beauty of the netz..and also a curse. Just be careful with that you say and what you share with who.

[TelephoneAngel]

The shockwaves and fallout from this are going to be long.

Already tonight there have been several group emails telling people to be calm and to keep trusting, and this is rare, but now I have had a message from a girl I have msn'd several times and had a laugh with, saying

Hope you understand TelephoneAngel, this is nothing against you personally but I won't be msning with anyone in future untill i have met them irl. (we havne't yet met)

On the plus side due to this we are going to all try to have a meet sooner than we would otherwise to get some sense of cohesion back into the group which will be awesome.I love meeting people i am talking to and putting a name to the face.

[Lace Neil Singer]

On a forum I used to go on, this girl once faked her own death.

No kidding. She posted as her husband, describing her own death in a car accident. Everyone was sorry, cuz she'd been an active forum member.

Then she obviously forgot to change log ins, as she logged in on her old account and when a mod challenged her, she admitted she'd made it all up.

Said girl was eventually cyber stoned and chased off the forum, cuz we were all disgusted with her.

[JoitheArtist]

Well, although this kind of thing does happen online, there are people who do it IRL too, it's just easier to catch most of them.

It really sucks when you catch someone like that online. 95% of my interactions with people online are positive, and I've had great luck meeting people from the internet--in fact, there's a group of friends from the NaNoWriMo forums and Viddler group that I meet up with once a year. But even one bad apple can really make you nervous about all the rest...

[CoffeeMonkey]

On my RPG forum someone faked his death as an April Fools prank a few years ago...and didn't seem to get why he was summarily banned and nobody found it funny.

Then last year another poster had the whole forum on edge with an elaborate ruse that he had fallen into a coma. Updates were being given by a screenname supposedly created by his SO. Everyone was so worried, including me, and I'd never even spoken with the guy. Eventually the updates sounded more and more outlandishly fabricated, and it was revealed that he not only made the whole thing up, but also was posting under dozens of alt screennames. It was a huge mess. The mods had a lot of damage control to do and it was never revealed how the truth had come to light.

That sort of thing really sucks, but in the long run, it didn't affect the community. Yes, you should always be careful of trusting people online, but don't let stuff like this change your friendships with these people. You might be burned now and again, but overall, you'll be richer.

[monolayth]

I had been on another board and was accused of being somone who told lies and fabricated many screen names purely because I was new and agreed with the person who everyone thought was doing that. It hurt.

I was obviously a real person who did none of these things. But got over it. I know it hurt because I have issues with people not believing me steming from abuse from my father and being around way too many people who are pathalogical liars.

While it happens a lot on the internet just remember there are people who do this in real life too. I think these people are sicker. As they lie to your face and not to the faceless computer.

[KellyHabersham]

Reminds me of something which happened back when the official Marilyn Manson website had a bbs. Just to give some highlights on what this guy (I'll call him "Jack" did):

- made references to being a friend/associate of the band, particularly Mr. Manson himslf.

- later on, dropped hints about his identity actually being that of a somewhat well-known guitarist, despite that musician's typing skills and online persona being NOTHING like "Jack".

- created several usernames on the bbs and had arguements with his alter-egos. (apparently

- created a username very similiar to that of one of the Manson band members, and pretended to be that person on the bbs.

[Stormraven]

One RPG site I frequent had that happen. For several years, a person posed as someone else - and that someone's SO. And managed to keep things straight for a very long time, keeping the posts different enough that they weren't obviously sock puppets. It was quite a mess, as I recall.

[BrenDAnn]

I have a story that could be a precautionary tale as well. I met a guy in a NASCAR chat once (yes, I like NASCAR, no I am not a redneck), and he and I started talking to each other just about every night. He claimed his marriage was failing, he needed a shoulder to cry on, etc. We got quite close, to the point where I was shunning my other friends, and I actually gave him my phone number, so we talked on the phone as well. This all came to a screeching halt when I found out that his marriage was fine, his wife had, for weeks, been watching and listening to everything we'd been saying, and they both went crazy on me. They called me every name in the book, threatened to find me and kill me, and just generally scared the bejeebus out of me. I printed out all our conversations, changed my e-mail address, etc, and managed to get rid of them and the threat, but I was scared enough that I also looked up the legal steps I might need to take. Lesson learned: Never trust anyone online, unless you've really gotten to know them and they can prove they are who they say they are.

[Eric the Grey]

It happens.

Back in the dark ages of the internet, Instead of message boards, we had Usenet. *puts his teeth back in to tell the story*

Anyway, not long after I found one particular group, which I stayed at for quite some time because of the types of people it tended to attract, one of the members, a woman came forward and confessed that something about what she had claimed to have been her real life was false. I don't remember the details.

There was a lot of anger and some bitterness over the whole affair, but overall the woman was a very sweet person, or at least came across that way. And she made the most fantastic ascii art I've ever seen. I really need to see if I can find where I saved them, because they are outstanding.

Anyway, it took some time, but things calmed down, and people went on with their lives.

It just seems that some people have a need to embellish their lives in order to make themselves seem more interesting. I think it's a part of human nature to some extent.

When you deal with people over the internet, you take the good with the bad. I tend to view everything through a filter that says, "not everything is true" because in a lot of cases, it isn't.


Eric the Grey

[Ree]

Hey, even this place isn't immune.

We have had our share of fictional characters and drama queens who prey on the kind hearted members here for a bit of attention.
Everybody wants to be a special snowflake.

You just have to learn to read with a jaded view sometimes.

That may mean people with legitimate stories come under suspicion too, but I'd rather find out later that a person really did lead such a dramatic life and apologize for not believing, than to waste valuable time and resources trying to find them help, or listening to their tales of woe, only to find out it was a con and all they wanted was attention.

[Dreamstalker]

I was once accused of being/having sock-puppets on Usenet (I was involved in an incarnation of this, and had the dubious "honor" of being joe-jobbed by the ringleader and losing an email account).

I'd rather find out later that a person really did lead such a dramatic life and apologize for not believing, than to waste valuable time and resources trying to find them help, or listening to their tales of woe, only to find out it was a con and all they wanted was attention.

Well said. I tend to be that way, not always though (tough to explain).