Tweet
So. Yeah. Yet another freaking doctor visit. Another set of xrays. More of the doctor telling me that yes, I have tumors there. Yes, I have a cyst there. Yes, my leg joint isnt in my hip socket correctly, and has like, overgrown or something. Yes, my doctor says that a hip replacment is going to happen.
However, he wants to push it off as long as possible. So yet another goddamn referral to yet another doctor. This time TWO. One to inject my hip with some kinda steroid injection and hope it tempory stops the pain, and a doctor to look at my spine because that might be causing the pain too.
Despite the fact i'm running out of time, both for my insurience and my job. Despite the fact every damn doctor and test I've gotten has said yes, you need a hip replacement. Rather then just getting the surgry, they send me to yet another doctor to do more goddamn tests. I'm sick of it. I'm heavy tempted to just break my pelvis itself so that they have no choice but to fix it now.
On the otherside of the fence. It was my aunt that drove me to see the doctor. I didn't realize until late last night that today was the one year anniversty of Natasha's death. She fought cancer for 5 years. She died at 8 years old. She was my cousins daughter, (my aunt's daughter). So I got to hear alot about Natasha. Including how today, thats it. There are no more firsts without hers. Or how that Ti, who was my aunts son's wife, who went out of her way to take care of do everything she could for Natasha, including promising to be there for Natasha's little and older sisters, (Including saying it to Natasha before she died), just basically said screw ya. Won't recall their calls. Unfriended them on myspace/facebook. Do everything she can to ignore them completly.
Or how the fact that the neighbor brats behind my aunts apartment has trashed Natasha's garden she made during the times she was home. Including throwing rocks to destroy the cremic angels she had there. They threaten to push my uncle Willy out of his wheelchair. Aunt is busy trying to get something done, but nothing happens. She talked to the kids mom, who just laughed and said its not her problem.
I can't belive its been one year since her death. I miss her. She was funny, beyond optomistic, and caring. She had some fiery temper at times. I learned today that in hindsight, some of the things that she did shortly before she died, seemed like she just knew it was her time. Natasha never bought presents for people, but she wanted to go to the giftshop to get a gem rock (Something with a gem rock) for her grandma. Nor did she fight with all her strength to not be admitted which she always did before. She even told her grandma she wanted her there, not her own mom. Seeing as my cousin, Natasha mom, drug addiction at that point was so high that she would just leave Natasha when she fell asleep and go get high and come back later. Negecting to give her medicene at the same time.
I still hate doctors. I just want this pain in my hip just to fucking go away. I'm tired of getting the runaround.
I want to help my aunt not feel so sad. Her husband, my uncle, took Natasha death pretty harsh. And her sisters aren't doing too well ether right now. As for her mom? Just guilt that she didn't spend time with her daughter on her deathbed and did drugs instead. (She's clean now... supposedly).
I also want to seriously hurt those brat neighbors of hers.
However, he wants to push it off as long as possible. So yet another goddamn referral to yet another doctor. This time TWO. One to inject my hip with some kinda steroid injection and hope it tempory stops the pain, and a doctor to look at my spine because that might be causing the pain too.
Despite the fact i'm running out of time, both for my insurience and my job. Despite the fact every damn doctor and test I've gotten has said yes, you need a hip replacement. Rather then just getting the surgry, they send me to yet another doctor to do more goddamn tests. I'm sick of it. I'm heavy tempted to just break my pelvis itself so that they have no choice but to fix it now.
On the otherside of the fence. It was my aunt that drove me to see the doctor. I didn't realize until late last night that today was the one year anniversty of Natasha's death. She fought cancer for 5 years. She died at 8 years old. She was my cousins daughter, (my aunt's daughter). So I got to hear alot about Natasha. Including how today, thats it. There are no more firsts without hers. Or how that Ti, who was my aunts son's wife, who went out of her way to take care of do everything she could for Natasha, including promising to be there for Natasha's little and older sisters, (Including saying it to Natasha before she died), just basically said screw ya. Won't recall their calls. Unfriended them on myspace/facebook. Do everything she can to ignore them completly.
Or how the fact that the neighbor brats behind my aunts apartment has trashed Natasha's garden she made during the times she was home. Including throwing rocks to destroy the cremic angels she had there. They threaten to push my uncle Willy out of his wheelchair. Aunt is busy trying to get something done, but nothing happens. She talked to the kids mom, who just laughed and said its not her problem.
I can't belive its been one year since her death. I miss her. She was funny, beyond optomistic, and caring. She had some fiery temper at times. I learned today that in hindsight, some of the things that she did shortly before she died, seemed like she just knew it was her time. Natasha never bought presents for people, but she wanted to go to the giftshop to get a gem rock (Something with a gem rock) for her grandma. Nor did she fight with all her strength to not be admitted which she always did before. She even told her grandma she wanted her there, not her own mom. Seeing as my cousin, Natasha mom, drug addiction at that point was so high that she would just leave Natasha when she fell asleep and go get high and come back later. Negecting to give her medicene at the same time.
I still hate doctors. I just want this pain in my hip just to fucking go away. I'm tired of getting the runaround.
I want to help my aunt not feel so sad. Her husband, my uncle, took Natasha death pretty harsh. And her sisters aren't doing too well ether right now. As for her mom? Just guilt that she didn't spend time with her daughter on her deathbed and did drugs instead. (She's clean now... supposedly).
I also want to seriously hurt those brat neighbors of hers.
Comment