A rant about critics, who are evil.

[Ben_Who]

I'm debating whether or not to keep that comma in the title.

Writers aren't supposed to respond to critics. We're not really allowed. It's a fair tradition; a writer who responds to a critic comes across as whiny and defensive and thin-skinned and brittle. And they're right. No one's going to make everyone happy; a writer who tries is doomed, and a writer who can't handle someone not liking his stuff probably shouldn't have ever started.

That having been said, it's very hard to engage sometimes. The first review of my new novel is in, and the book has been eviscerated.

I have a sneaking suspicion that this guy knows me - the review is written under a pseudonym - and has some reason not to like me. He didn't just hate the book - it seemed to offend him in some way that he didn't divulge. The review was devastating.

All right, so this guy didn't like it. Big schmeal; you can't please everybody. However, the drubbing frightened my publisher away from sending out any more review copies, which means my book isn't getting any publicity right now. And because this twit's review is the only one, and likely to stay that way for a while, it's the fourth link when someone Googles my book. And since I have a naturally confrontational attitude when the right buttons get pushed - and he knew all of them, which feeds my theory that this is some jerk from high school or something - it's killing me not to be able to throw down with this guy.

Which brings me here, ranting anonymously on an unrelated bulletin board, trying to vent enough steam to make the urge to engage go away.

I understand the desire to be a snarky critic. Snarky critics get a lot of attention, and writing snark is a lot of fun. But this is a snarky critic who could have a pretty powerful impact on my income and doesn't even know it. He's not likely to have an impact on the box office of a movie like, say, "Avatar," but my stuff is still finding its feet, and he and I write for the same small audience.

All that and he couldn't even spell the main character's name right...

Love, Who?

[Plaidman]

oooh! I love reading new books. What it about? What the title? I'll give you a honest review!

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Jeez, your publisher has cold feet after ONE bad review? I think that he needs to grow a set and send out more review copies.

But I do have to ask about the guy who did the review... Has he reviewed other books? Good books that he also trashed? Maybe you should research a bit and see what HIS record is. Maybe he's just a guy who likes to tear others down for his own ego, and your book shouldn't suffer because of that.


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As for reviews in general, I do tend to read a few reviews before seeing a movie/buy an album/book/whatever. The ones I pay attention to are well-written, spell-checked and state their position as to why they did (or didn't) like a particular item. Any one that just says "this sux, its all bad, bye X its better than this crap" is not worthy.

Except this one time...

I was reading reviews on a CD I was thinking about picking up ("Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness" by Coheed & Cambria) and the site I was on had about a doen reviews giving it 3.5 to 5 stars... and one that was 1 star, that just said "if you like this crap you are a dork who thinks dragons are kool".

Well, I am, so I bought it. And loved it.

[Magpie]

Spider Robinson gave one of those reviews at one point. He actually printed an apology for it later. (When you say that the good feature of the book is that you have a woodstove, you've gone too far).

I like the movie critics on CBC - even when they hate something they'll say "this will appeal to X group of people". I wish more critics did that. Too many people think their job is to criticize rather than to critique.

[r2cagle]

Yah, I personally don't hold much stock in reviews especially if they seem to be a personally attacking the writer.

Now an honest critique -- still doesn't hold much water for me.

I 'really' do judge a book by it's cover/writing. A short blurb of the storyline pretty much indicates to me if I'm going to want to read it or not.

So if you can't get your publisher to send out more review copies... I echo Plaidman, I'll be glad to read it and give an honest review.

[Nurian]

So if you can't get your publisher to send out more review copies... I echo Plaidman, I'll be glad to read it and give an honest review.

I third this. I can be boldly honest. I can even put the review on LJ or Amazon if he's worried I'm not a critic :P

[blas]

If it makes you feel any better, I never listen to reviews or critics. I go by my own interest to buy a book or see a movie. I don't get very into books, but I'm a huge movie addict and buff.

Movie reviews and stuff online and in the newspaper are so one sided. I nearly ripped that newspaper in half when they gave Boondock Saints 2 half of a star and mocked the use of guns and cursing but gave Precious 5 stars because everyone liked it so much, so I guess that means everyone does, right?!

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

[Parrothead]

Thirded for non-biased review here! (My stack of things to read is small, and that makes me sad.)

[ArcticChicken]

If you don't want to lets it out in a public thread, you could send PMs to those of us who are interested in learning about your book.

I agree with the chicken war, if your publisher is wussing out after one bad review, he needs to grow a pair. Not only is he screwing with your lively hood, he's screwing with his own.

[Andara Bledin]

Yeah, your publisher is doing almost precisely the opposite of what he should. You need some publicity to sell a book, and often book reviews are the only publicity you'll get, so you need a lot of them out there, even if they're not flattering.

Of course, now I, too, am interested in learning about your book, as well.

I 'really' do judge a book by it's cover/writing. A short blurb of the storyline pretty much indicates to me if I'm going to want to read it or not.

You've gotta be careful about that, too.

One of Nekojin's absolute favorite authors (and series) has the most out of touch and badly written blurb I've ever read. It's not inaccurate, but it is so badly mis-representative of how the book is written, it's laughable.

I like to read the first page or so to get a feel for how the author writes. It's so much more accurate than the blurb or cover art (in which you're often lucky if it even matches the characters in the book, much less any of the events).

^-.-^

[Ben_Who]

I've sent a PM to some of you.

I don't think the publisher chickened out, exactly. Smaller companies are very sensitive; the book they publish might be the only book they publish all year, so it had better be a smash if the company is going to publish another book next year. It's sort of an occupational hazard of these one-man publishing companies that your work tends to be beholden to some strange whims. I've had a book under contract to one publisher for over five years for various reasons.

It's hard to separate "feeling sorry for myself for a bad review" and "being angry with the fact that this is the ONLY review so far." I'm trying, in my mind, to keep this less about the content of the review and more about its prominent placement. One is just a pity party; the other is actually a kick in the wallet, and could have implications for the path my career takes.

And then there are the occasional reality checks - the most recent was when a homeless man in ragged flannel borrowed a dollar for bus fare while I was on my way to work. I was like, "Gee, and the worst thing that ever happened to me is some fleapot weirdo publicly didn't like my book."

The hell of it is, I like snarky critics. I watch Zero Punctuation every week.

Love, Who?