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I've been dealing with a lot of stress from my roomate lately. He's been on unemployment since last May. We've been living together since mid last July. He was supposed to be looking for a job but at first I didn't push it because he could manage rent and I was excited to be moving out and not living with my parents, sister, jerk of a brother in law, and their kid. There have been plenty of things that minorly bugged me but that weren't huge deals. Lately though things have gotten worse. He hangs out with friends maybe once a month or so but other than that and online stuff, I'm just about his only source of human interaction. I know he's lonely but it's gotten to be frustrating. He's hit that level of being lonely and needing attention/interaction and depression where it almost radiates off of him when we're just sitting there. Dunno if that makes sense or not. If I'm home and doing anything in the living room, unless he's doing something on the computer with friends, he'll come down and join me. My computer is in the living room with the monitor on the coffee table so that I can use the tv as a second monitor to watch stuff if I want. I started using headphones when I watched stuff on my computer because if I didn't, he'd come down and join me. I don't just mean when I was watching stuff on the tv, I mean even when I was watching something on my computer. And I get that it's a shared room and all and it's not like I don't want him ever to come watch stuff with me. But I mean flat out every single time, he'd come down and watch, usually within the first 5 minutes of the show.
There are various little things that he does that normally I'd roll my eyes at or that are a bit odd but it's not a big deal. The problem is, when he's always home, stuff like joking about something too many times gets amplified and gets worse. Add to that his mood was getting lower though he tried to stay cheerful. The last job he had was a job that he loved. It was his dream job really. They have regular full time employees but they also have temp workers who will work there for a project or two (maybe 6-12 months or so). He was a temp worker and they let a lot of those go which is why he became unemployed in May. He knew for about a month that it was going to happen so it wasn't out of nowhere. This whole time, he's been getting his hopes up for getting hired back there and not making as good of an effort to find anything because he wants to work there again. In Febuary, I had finally hit a point where I realized why things had been getting increasingly worse and I told him that unless he had a job, I wouldn't resign the lease with him. Our lease is up at the end of July so he had time. He's got a college degree and has really good work expirience. Even in this economy he could have found something if he seriously made an effort. I don't know that he applied that many places though because he knew they were hiring temp workers again in April/May. Of course, by not applying many other places, he left himself in a situation where if they didn't hire him back he would be pretty much screwed.
Wednesday the landlord called him and said that they needed to know by Monday. He let me know in the early afternoon and stated that he was really trying to find something. I was pissed and busy with work so I didn't respond. Later in the day he texted me that he had an interview for the temp job on Thursday (yesterday). I seriously doubted that they would offer him anything on the spot which would mean that I wasn't going to be resigning. If I were to resign on the off chance that he got it and then he didn't, I'd have to deal with him moping around without a job because I don't believe that he'd get right on finding something else. Yesterday I figured that I would get a text message from him if it went good enough that they offered him a job on the spot but I didn't hear anything.
I got home and he didn't say anything when I came in. When I went back downstairs, he mentioned that they said he would be back in on May 10th for starting stuff or something like that (I forget the weird way he phrased it). I asked if it was for sure that he had the job and he said that he thought so. Not yes or anything like that, just "I think so, that's what it sounded like anyway." Then a little bit later when I had my headphones on, he was on the phone with a friend and telling him about the interview. He said that the guy had told him that the interview was just a formality to see if he was still interested. Supposedly the guy raved about him and how they really wanted him back and such and so he's starting back on the 10th. I'm not sure why he didn't tell me it was for sure that he had it if that's how the interview went but whatever.
I honestly do think that with the job, I'll be fine living with him. He'll be gone a lot more between work and friends (all the friends he hangs out with work there and hanging out will be more often with him being back) and I won't be constantly dealing with him. His mood will improve with the job which will make him stop acting like he's been acting. I've known him for 7 or 8 years now so I know this isn't typical behavior for him. An added bonus is he'll be interacting with people more often. He seems to sometimes have trouble picking up on social stuff and realizing when he's being odd. I don't mean like being geeky or talking about stuff no one's interested in, I mean social ineptitude. I try to be patient about that because I can sometimes be that way though I've gotten a lot better than what I used to be. His social skills tend to improve when he's hanging out more though so that will be an added help. Mostly I'm just venting and the problem should be improving soon and I've got places I can crash if I need it while I'm unburning out on it.
There are various little things that he does that normally I'd roll my eyes at or that are a bit odd but it's not a big deal. The problem is, when he's always home, stuff like joking about something too many times gets amplified and gets worse. Add to that his mood was getting lower though he tried to stay cheerful. The last job he had was a job that he loved. It was his dream job really. They have regular full time employees but they also have temp workers who will work there for a project or two (maybe 6-12 months or so). He was a temp worker and they let a lot of those go which is why he became unemployed in May. He knew for about a month that it was going to happen so it wasn't out of nowhere. This whole time, he's been getting his hopes up for getting hired back there and not making as good of an effort to find anything because he wants to work there again. In Febuary, I had finally hit a point where I realized why things had been getting increasingly worse and I told him that unless he had a job, I wouldn't resign the lease with him. Our lease is up at the end of July so he had time. He's got a college degree and has really good work expirience. Even in this economy he could have found something if he seriously made an effort. I don't know that he applied that many places though because he knew they were hiring temp workers again in April/May. Of course, by not applying many other places, he left himself in a situation where if they didn't hire him back he would be pretty much screwed.
Wednesday the landlord called him and said that they needed to know by Monday. He let me know in the early afternoon and stated that he was really trying to find something. I was pissed and busy with work so I didn't respond. Later in the day he texted me that he had an interview for the temp job on Thursday (yesterday). I seriously doubted that they would offer him anything on the spot which would mean that I wasn't going to be resigning. If I were to resign on the off chance that he got it and then he didn't, I'd have to deal with him moping around without a job because I don't believe that he'd get right on finding something else. Yesterday I figured that I would get a text message from him if it went good enough that they offered him a job on the spot but I didn't hear anything.
I got home and he didn't say anything when I came in. When I went back downstairs, he mentioned that they said he would be back in on May 10th for starting stuff or something like that (I forget the weird way he phrased it). I asked if it was for sure that he had the job and he said that he thought so. Not yes or anything like that, just "I think so, that's what it sounded like anyway." Then a little bit later when I had my headphones on, he was on the phone with a friend and telling him about the interview. He said that the guy had told him that the interview was just a formality to see if he was still interested. Supposedly the guy raved about him and how they really wanted him back and such and so he's starting back on the 10th. I'm not sure why he didn't tell me it was for sure that he had it if that's how the interview went but whatever.
I honestly do think that with the job, I'll be fine living with him. He'll be gone a lot more between work and friends (all the friends he hangs out with work there and hanging out will be more often with him being back) and I won't be constantly dealing with him. His mood will improve with the job which will make him stop acting like he's been acting. I've known him for 7 or 8 years now so I know this isn't typical behavior for him. An added bonus is he'll be interacting with people more often. He seems to sometimes have trouble picking up on social stuff and realizing when he's being odd. I don't mean like being geeky or talking about stuff no one's interested in, I mean social ineptitude. I try to be patient about that because I can sometimes be that way though I've gotten a lot better than what I used to be. His social skills tend to improve when he's hanging out more though so that will be an added help. Mostly I'm just venting and the problem should be improving soon and I've got places I can crash if I need it while I'm unburning out on it.
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