Where's the real surprise?

[ottid]

So about three months ago, bf and I celebrated our third year together. We were driving past a church trying to find a car park - not any random church, the church where we went to finish our first date because it has an amazing view over part of our city, and shared our first kiss.

We couldn't find one so he said "We just won't go this year, but the next time we go you will have a ring on your finger." Which to me translates to "I'm gonna ask in the next 12 months" mainly because we are both agnostics so we don't normally make a habit of walking onto church property. I told him this, so he said "Well I'm not going to ask in the next three months" and they are now nearly up.

I'm not sure that he has realised how much speculation this has put on me about when and where He already knows that I wouldn't like it to be like our friends engagement, he asked her dad, walked into the next room and then asked her, so my brain just gets all like "I hope he doesn't do it there, I hope he doesn't do it then" But it's not my choice, so I know I should stop...

So I work in a Stationery store that sells magazines, I made a concession too him and said "would it freak you out if I start bringing home bridal magazines?" The reason I want to is because they are freaking expensive, are usually quarterlies, and if I don't start collecting now, it's going to cost a lot. I don't plan on still being there past Christmas. Also the plus side is I can get the magazines free if we don't have to send the whole magazine back to the distributor, we just have to rip the cover off. He said it would a little, but agreed when I told him the reasoning behind it

The other thing, I have no idea when we would actually get married, both of us are students, and our parents have no way of contributing money. So any wedding is likely to be two or more years out anyway. Both of us should be in the "real" workforce tomorrow (as in, not working part time)

I dunno, I guess all this talk of weddings and engagements on here is just getting me all worked up again over not much...

[Indigo]

Well I didn't think my engagement was going to be much of a surprise. I picked out the ring I wanted, even tried it on at the jeweler's to make sure they didn't need to resize it. He told me that he was going to be getting a bonus soon and that it would more than cover the ring cost. And then nothing..... and nothing.... and nothing. I had almost put it out of my mind when he suggested we take a drive up the parkway (we went there after our first date). I checked out his pockets, didn't see any bulge that would look like a ring box, and didn't think any more of it. Until we're looking over a scenic overlook and I turn to see him on one knee, ring in his hand. (My first words: "Are you for real?" )

Before that had happened, I had already talked to him about us getting married. We both knew it was coming and weren't in a real hurry. But after talking to him, I started picking up some minor stuff for the wedding when I would find it on clearance (like the invitations, thank-you cards, etc). Mind you, this was before he proposed.

We also don't know when we're getting married as I am still a student, and much like you, neither set of parents is in a situation to contribute much. We know the wedding isn't going to be until fall of 2012 at the absolute earliest and will possibly be a year or two later than that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your situation is not uncommon and that it can still be a surprise when it happens if he plans it well. And for anyone who gets on you about having a long engagement, point out that it gives you more time to save up for the wedding/find bargains and much more time to plan.

[AdminAssistant]

Yeah, I have a good feeling that my SO will propose this summer, but I don't know when, where, or how. He's hinted that he has something already planned, who knows? (And I can nearly guarantee he's in cahoots with some of my friends up here.) But the waiting....*sigh* yeah. When I decided on the type of ring I wanted, I was like, "Can't I just have it now?" But noooo.....

[ottid]

I just realised in my first post I said we would be in the work force "tomorrow" I meant next year, hehe - and no one commented on that...

I've been dropping hints on the type of ring I would like for the past two years, and we have talked about everything like this since before we started living together, so I'm sure everything like that will be fine.

It's just now that everytime we go out for something, whether it's a Birthday dinner for one of us, or go out and do anything by ourselves, I'm going to be thinking "is he going to do it now?" So yea, I'm with you AdminAssistant! Waiting is annoying....

[Magpie]

Don't worry too much about getting magazines if it makes him nervous. Designers tend to have their entire catalogue online, and the pictures are often more useful there than the ones in the magazines, because you can see the dress on its own.

[trailerparkmedic]

The waiting is the worst! We started talking about getting engaged last summer. I expected something in the fall but it took him until Feburary to propose. I knew he was going to propose, his plans got messed up and he just handed me the ring when we were sitting on the couch at home. I was surprised when he re-proposed a few weeks later and that one went much better.

[tollbaby]

I never went through this whole excitement thing when I married my ex. He didn't propose, there was no ring, it was more along the lines of "We already have a kid together, let's get married", so we did.

Now with my SO, we're both on our 2nd try, so I doubt either one of us is in a mindset to even get married again, but if we do, he's the type to try to come up with the most romantic proposal ever... still won't be a ring though (wedding ring yes, engagement ring no).