Help

[Plaidman]

I'm lousy with woman. This is no secret.

But there is a girl in class that I have a freaking huge crush on, and she talks to me and even likes me a little.

But I have no money. Can barely walk.

I live in Portland Oregon, and I need dating advice that is cheap but awesome.


It's hard for me to ask girls out. Very hard. Last relationship I had didn't last long at all, and was likely the worst boyfriend she ever had. But, this girl, I really think she's awesome, and I want to show her a great time, but it's so hard with little to no money.


Any tips would be awesome.

[r2cagle]

Take some home baked goodies to share with her. Chocolate chip cookies for instance.

Just hang out at the campus, or nearby coffee shop. You're an official college student, you're not going to have alot of money. Think about what you can and have the energy to do, and invite her to go with you. Focus on just hanging out with a genuinely nice person.

A good flirting technique is to throw a compliment in the middle of the conversation, then pick back up the convo . Be sincere in the compliment but coming out the blue in the middle of a conversation with no further mention will startle her and slow her down to think about you as a 'guy' and not just a classmate.

[Seshat]

From one disabled person to another: 'hardly able to walk' doesn't need to spoil things.


Find out what's good and free in your city that is accessible to you by affordable transport. Ideally public transport, if that's decent where you are.

A great date:
Pick up a loaf of fresh bread from a bakery (not supermarket bread, but something good), and some sandwich fixings (find out if she's vegetarian/vegan first). The sandwich fixings don't need to be special - my now-husband and I used to just get a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket. Also pick up or make something to drink. Juice, or a thermos of a herbal tea she might like. Bring water as well.
Go to a nice park. One with good gardens, or great sculptures, or a great view. Laugh together as you break the bread apart with your hands, and assemble funny-looking sandwiches. If your body is up to it, stroll around the park slowly.

Another great date:
An art gallery, a museum, any of the other cultural-things that your city may provide to its residents as a free service.
Search your college or university. Many have miniature museums for different departments. The geology museum at the University of Queensland (in Australia) has some amazingly large unflawed quartz crystals, as well as other interesting local specimens.
Yes, for some of the more unique museums, this may involve finding out what she's interested in. My best friend would be delighted by an entymology ('bugs') museum, but I wouldn't.
This one does involve walking (or scootering), but it's slow walking and you may be able to do it. I don't know to what level you're mobility-impaired. Most of these places also have seats where you can rest between walking sessions.
(My family and I do these with me on my scooter, or with my walker or a wheelchair.)

Yet more:
Find the local tiny eateries that are the same basic price for a meal as McDonalds or Burger King or the like. Almost everywhere has them - it might be a ramen noodle place, or an Indian-from-India place that makes up big batches of curries, or a mom-and-pop Pennsylvania-Dutch diner. Find them, taste-test them, and then take her to one of the best of them.
This one does involve some spending as well as some work, but it's also good and involves less walking.


The most important thing about a date is YOU. Not your face. Not your clothes (though 'clean and neat' counts), not the setting. But you, and your interest in her, and your willingness to laugh at the inevitable things that go wrong. (I can't get the lid off this juice bottle!)

[Amina516]

I suggest setting up a study session at a nearby coffee shop. Coffee is (relatively) cheap enough that you'd be able to treat her and you least have the beginnings of what the conversation subject (the study material) so there shouldnt be too many awkward silences. Plus youre sitting a majority of the time, so not too physically taxing.

[ArcticChicken]

A great date:
Pick up a loaf of fresh bread from a bakery (not supermarket bread, but something good), and some sandwich fixings (find out if she's vegetarian/vegan first). The sandwich fixings don't need to be special - my now-husband and I used to just get a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket. Also pick up or make something to drink. Juice, or a thermos of a herbal tea she might like. Bring water as well.
Go to a nice park. One with good gardens, or great sculptures, or a great view. Laugh together as you break the bread apart with your hands, and assemble funny-looking sandwiches. If your body is up to it, stroll around the park slowly.

I was going to suggest a picnic!

The most important thing about a date is YOU.

Quoted for truth.


I don't know what prices are like in your area, but you might be able to get tickets to, say, a minor league baseball game for cheap, and a couple of hot dogs and a soda usually aren't to expensive.

You might look for a little indy movie theatre in your area. They don't get first run movies, but the prices are usually pretty reasonable, even for the refreshments.


ETA: You might also try an open mic night at a local coffee shop.

[Eireann]

Go to the International Rose Test Garden, and bring some munchies. Enjoy the views!

[Jester]

You live in Portland, Oregon, a city with one of the coolest downtowns I have ever been to.

Take her for a walk along the river, you dolt. Oh, wait, you say you can barely walk. Well, take her for a slow walk, then. Check out downtown. Or just sit and watch the world (and boats) go by on the river.

There are other possibilities, too. Hell, if you are both into books, go to Powell's and window shop!

[Pony_Boy]

OK some points I think will help

as a few people have mentioned, you're a college student, being broke is part of the territory. Odds are, this girl doesn't have a lot more money then you do, if at all, so don't worry about it.

I don't mean to be rude, so forgive me if this comes off as overly blunt. She's seen you in class, she's had conversations with you and, she likes you, She know you can hardly walk and she's probably fine with it. I walk with a noticeable limp, have my whole life, most good natured people don't have a problem with it.

Going for coffee is a great idea, but I wouldn't do it as a "study date". You should make clear that you want to meet her outside of classwork on a personal level. You can talk about school in the beginning since its the most evident thing you two have in common, but move away from it when you get a chance.

The reason is simple, if you're interested in her romantically, you want to avoid the "friend zone" at all cost

Finally, give yourself a pep talk, remind yourself that you are a great person who's working hard to better yourself, you deserve good things from life and mostly relax take things as they come do what feels right and not what you think "a man should do" and be yourself

[lupo pazzesco]

remind yourself that you are a great person who's working hard to better yourself, you deserve good things from life and mostly relax take things as they come do what feels right and not what you think "a man should do" and be yourself

Quoted for absolute, 100% TRUTH!



Everyone's already thrown out the ideas I had, so I've nothing else to add...

[blas]

"Would you like to go out for dinner this Friday night?"

[Sunsetsky]

If you're good at cooking then invite her over for dinner and afterwards pop a movie in. Or (as other people said) you can go to a coffee shop and just chat.

[Evil Queen]

Start with coffee. Start with lunch. Hell, sit by a duck pond and talk.

My first "date" with G was dinner at his house and movies. The second was a picnic by the duck pond. The best dates I've ever had were movies at either the dates house or my house. Usually popcorn and sodas are involved.

I'm a cheap date anyways. I don't like fancy restaurants or expensive all day affairs. But I do enjoy things like going to the zoo, the aquarium, theaters, ect. Hell, I really enjoy just sitting around with a drink and talking, playing boardgames. Maybe your friend would like that too.

Or you could, ya know, just ask her what she likes to do and if she would join you on one of those outings.

[Solumina]

If you can then bake her some cookies. Fresh cookies just do something magical to people, especially chocolate chip, they make you feel special and cared for. They won’t make her fall in love or anything cheesy like that but they will help you to get your feeling across. Also most girls are really impressed when a guy a) can cook and b) puts actual effort and thought into something instead of just money.

If baked goods aren't an option (be it lack of skills or lack of kitchen) then take her to a park or just see if she has a break in her classes where the two of you can hang out on campus. Sitting under a tree and just chatting can really be an amazing way to spend time together and is something that you can do regularly to build a bond, just be sure to word it in a way that shows you are interested romantically and not just wanting to hang out as friends (something like "I think you're amazing and I would really like to spend more time together" instead of "we should hang out when you have some free time").

You could also see about shows on campus, I know at the very least my university let student in for free to performances by out theater program and when we had concerts or shows come in there were always steep discounts for students.

[Plaidman]

Thank you all. Really, everthing helps.

There isn't much on campus, it's a six story building, but it doesn't have any galleries or such.

The waterfront is fairly close to it. I'm going to see if maybe this Wedneday after class, she wouldn't mind a walk. I've gotten some money, and I think it's enough for a few drinks at this ice cream sunday place I know that's nearby.


... Here's hoping it works.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Whatever you decide to do, ask her the way Blas says: specifically.

None of this "you want to go out sometime?"

Of course she does. You already know that. (and if you don't, act like you do anyways...there is nothing as attractive as confidence.) So say, "Let's do (whatever it is) on (whatever time and place you say.)" Take charge of it. That is very attractive.

The picnic idea is very nice, too. I sounds like you have a river running through town...I have a rivers running through my town, too, and it makes for a perfect and FREE picnic spot.

Can you cook?