A somewhat concerning letter

[Boggles]

So, next month I'm going to hospital for day surgery to have 4 toenails removed due to problems with ingrowing and things. I've already been told that the removal will be done under local anaesthetic.

Yesterday I got a letter from the hospital to confirm everything. The first bits were to tell me when and where to go, who would be doing the surgery and so on. The second part was to check all my details were up to date. And the final part was some general advice.

Most of this advi e was fine such as making sure I'm on time abs have arranged transport home etc. It also tells me to take a urine sample so they can test for any drugs that may be in my system. The concerning bit is the line which says "as part of your procedure, a rectal examination may be required.". WTF!!!!!

Where the heck do they think they're taking the nails out of! I'm rather concerned that they think the foot bone is connected to the ass-bone! I think is better ring them today to check they've booked me in to the correct clinic.

[Rapscallion]

They like you.

Rapscallion

[MaggieTheCat]

Maybe it's just a general form letter than they use for a lot of procedures, and that particular "requirement" doesn't have anything to do with the surgery you're getting but they don't bother to remove it from the form letter, either. Probably a good idea to call and double check anyway, though...I've had more than enough SNAFUs with hospitals to know that it's the patient's responsibility, not the hospital's, to know all the prep-work for any given procedure.

[r2cagle]

Maybe you could ask them to give you general anesthesia first?

j/k Most pre-op directives have alot of stuff that won't apply to most patients, but it's not cost-effective to have multiple letters for each type of surgery, so one form letter to cover everything. The key word is 'may'.

The really fun papers are the post-operative ones that give you information about wound care, and all other stuff. I've often wondered that if half the stuff on those handouts actually happened, I'd have been better off not getting the surgery!

[Jester]

Yes, "may" is the operative word. As in, it may rain today. (It's the tropics. Big surprise.) I may read a book. (But I may not.) I may have to beat the living pulp out of a dirty old man twice my size. (But hopefully not.) Megan Fox may jump my bones. (Hopefully she will.)

Look, as has been said, the hospital is just--pardon the phrase--covering their ass. It's a general form letter that is sent out to all patients, just letting them know what "may" happen.

In my last lease that I signed, there was a paragraph stipulating that the tenant was responsible for any needed snow removal. I live in Key West, where the colded recorded temperature is 41F, and thus it has never snowed here. But the management company that runs the complex was using the same lease they use for all their properties, which is why there was that particular item, even though it did not in any way apply to me, my apartment, my complex, my town, or my county.

So view your rectal exam as my snow removal.

And let's end the comparison right there.

[Exaspera]

Aren't shovels involved in BOTH??