I am GRATEFUL, you moron

[MoonCat]

My mom miscarried her first pregnancy. Even though she was only about three months pregnant, she still grieved. She always wanted four kids, but she said she would have ended up with five, because she couldn't imagine life without the four she did have.

No one has the right to tell you how to grieve, or where or when, or in what degree. Even though you didn't get to see him grow up, he's still a part of your life and your world. Always.

[Lady J'ssem]

I don't know if my mum realizes I remember it, but I would have had a brother if the baby had survived. At the time, we were stationed in Italy. I remember being in the car while mum was crying because of the labor pains. We never found out what happened. I don't think my mum even got a chance to see him. I don't know how she coped with it. I was only like 4 years old, and the fact it remains in my memory is rather odd to me.

But I do remember my mum saying if the baby had survived, we wouldn't have my other sister. Mum had to have her tubes tied after she was born. Three C sections, and a miscarriage, she wouldn't have survived if she had another child anyways.

But it doesn't stop me for feeling sympathy for my mum. I don't even know if the baby had a name. And I don't remember what his birthday would have been. And I know that I regret never being able to say goodbye to the brother I had always wanted.

[Misanthropical]

My oldest son was only a year and half when it happened, so he has no memory of it all. He was with a friend of ours house during the funeral.

An autopsy was done and they couldn't find anything wrong with my son. They told me it's just one of those things that happen. Yeah, one of those things that hospitals cover up to protect their doctor.

A month later I asked for the report and all the records related to my son's death. To no one's surprised, they had lost them all.

I remember as I was leaving the hospital (during the 24 hour stays) the doctor said "I'll see you with your next pregnancy" I told him "The HELL you will!"

My next pregnancy, was treated as a high risk pregnancy since they didn't know what caused the death of my son. I had a beautiful baby girl who I didn't want to be parted from for a second. Today is her 15th birthday and she is a beautiful young lady now.

[Taboo]

My aunt had a miscarriage a few years ago. Twins. I think it was partially related to her own medical conditions; she's still blaming herself. I don't know all of the details but it was an incredibly traumatizing event for the whole family.

I think, a lot of the time, people seem like jerks about this sort of thing because they feel the need to say something and it's really difficult to say the 'right' thing. But whether it's malicious or just ignorance on their part, you just need to ignore them... your feelings are completely valid and as others have said, it's so much better to grieve in your own way than to bottle things up.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[jedimaster91]

A good friend of mine miscarried twins. I felt like such a jerk when I asked how her pregnancy was going and she told me she'd miscarried. I think it's fairly common especially for young women to miscarry. Sometimes before they even know they're pregnant. It doesn't make it any less heart breaking, though.

[XCashier]

My aunt lost her baby son 43 years ago, and she still grieves for him around that time of the year. Grief and loss is not something you can just "get over". Everybody handles it in their own way, with help if needed, and it's totally human to feel that way.

I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry that some folks are really insensitive about your feelings.