Weird recurring dream...

[MaggieTheCat]

Well, I don't know if it's really a recurring dream, since the dream itself is usually different, but it has a similar theme: My husband does something stupidly mean to me, and I get angry at him about it. For instance, last night I dreamed that I was singing a solo at some choir concert (which is weird in and of itself because I'm not, nor have I ever been, in a choir) but at the last minute before we were supposed to leave for the concert, my husband said he didn't want to go. There was no good reason for it, like he wasn't feeling well or something; I think he was too busy playing a video game and didn't want to be interrupted. I got mad at him, and then I woke up.

I have a dream similar to this almost once a week or at least once every few weeks. I don't remember the details of any of the other ones right offhand, but like I said, they all involve him doing something to upset me (usually something really stupid and out of character for him) and me getting angry with him.

We have a very good relationship in real life, I think. We rarely get upset with each other, and when we do, we always work things out. He's never intentionally been mean to me. We've never had a huge argument or disagreement that has resulted in us being angry with one another for days; we always resolve our disagreements by the end of the evening before we go to bed, which is something we promised each other we'd always do so we wouldn't go to bed angry. Maybe I'm just afraid that someday we won't be so happy together?

Anyone have any experience in dream interpretation?

[Amusement Gal]

I'm not a genius at it or anything, but google brought up some possible things.

Husband

To see your husband in your dream, signifies the waking relationship with your husband and the unconscious feelings you have towards him. The dream may be trying to focus on hidden elements that you are not addressing in your waking life.

Argument

To dream that you are arguing implies that you are deeply disturbed about some inner struggle or situation in your life. Pay attention to the person you are having the argument with and what the subject matter of the disagreement is. Perhaps this person is mirroring a certain personality trait that you possess.

Maybe some very tiny things that your husband does bother you, and even if they're tiny, you're thinking about them just enough to where your mind is addressing it. Like, say he is late sometimes, and it doesn't really bug you too much, and then you had a dream where he was late for five hours and you yelled at him for it. Since it's about him, after all, the little things may be getting to you and you might need to talk to him about them.

OR

If you guys are alike in personality, it might be more the second one. Something about yourself bothers you, and you convey it with your similarly-thinking husband taking the role of the 'you' that bothers yourself. If you've been frustrated at yourself lately for things you're doing, or you're trying to change some habits, I could see arguing with your 'husband' over 'annoying things'. Either way, a talk to yourself or your hubby is probably in order to sort it out.

I don't know if it'll help you out, but I tried. To be honest I'm just winging it here, but it does make sense. These dreams seem rather cut and dry with what's going on, so I don't think it could get deeper than that. You have a conflict in your head, and you need to sort it out. I hope it helps!

[Bronzebow]

I find dream interpretation interesting, but there are just so many sources that say conflicting things. It's hard to judge what's actually meaning something and what's just a cigar.

Without prying too much, are the things you and your dream-husband fight over somehow related to real life, or do they seem more random in topic? Do you feel more emphasis on what you're arguing about specifically, or more that you're just arguing?

[zombiequeen]

I get dreams like this sometimes, where hubby and I fight over something, or he's just mean. But we have a great relationship and don't let fights drag on. It seems that the better things are between us, the worse the dreams I have.
Maybe it's your brains way of trying to get you upset so he holds you more?
Is it possible that you worry about him being mad at you or being mean, and even though he isn't, you still feel that maybe next time he will be?
I'm not even close to an expert at this, just what I know of it.

[MaggieTheCat]

Maybe some very tiny things that your husband does bother you, and even if they're tiny, you're thinking about them just enough to where your mind is addressing it. Like, say he is late sometimes, and it doesn't really bug you too much, and then you had a dream where he was late for five hours and you yelled at him for it. Since it's about him, after all, the little things may be getting to you and you might need to talk to him about them.

There are little things he does that annoy me a little bit, but not enough for me to want to start an argument, or even bring it up most of the time. Everyone has little quirks that are unique to them, that other people will find strange/annoying and I don't want him to change just because it might bother me a tiny bit. Most of them are trivial anyway; for instance, I almost always make dinner every night, and when it's just about done, I'll say, "Ready to eat?" and he'll say, "In a minute or two," and I think, "Not in a minute or two, dinner is ready now!" It's silly and trivial and I've never brought it up to him. In that situation, I guess I should just say, "Dinner is ready now" instead of phrasing it as a question.

So yeah, it could just be my subconscious totally over exaggering stuff like that.

Without prying too much, are the things you and your dream-husband fight over somehow related to real life, or do they seem more random in topic? Do you feel more emphasis on what you're arguing about specifically, or more that you're just arguing?

I don't really remember any of the details of my past dreams, except the one last night where he didn't come to my choir concert, and that doesn't fit in to anything that I can think that's happening in our waking lives right now. Like I said, I'm not part of a choir at all, and I don't have any concerts, performances, or other kinds of events coming up that he could possibly miss. As far as emphasis, I think most of the time the emphasis is on what he's done to upset me; like he's deliberately being mean just to make me angry or hurt.

Maybe it's your brains way of trying to get you upset so he holds you more?

That's an interesting theory that could definitely be a factor in this. In fact, now that I think about it, it does feel like when I wake up, I always want him to hug me or pay attention to me or something. I had (still have to an extent) some serious self conscious issues when we first started going out, that I was afraid things wouldn't work out, especially after it seemed like our relationship was getting really serious, so I could see the dreams just being my subconscious's way of saying "don't leave me!"

Is it possible that you worry about him being mad at you or being mean, and even though he isn't, you still feel that maybe next time he will be?

That's something else that occurred to me after I did a little poking around on dream interpretation websites earlier myself. I do feel like I sometimes don't "pull my weight" in our relationship. He has a fulltime job that pays very well, while I work from home making jewelry. I don't make nearly as much money as he does. I do take care of the house (all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. are my responsibilities) and we've had the discussion, many times, about whether I should get an actual job or not, and he says he doesn't want me to, and I'm happy doing what I'm doing, but even still, I still sometimes feel like it's not enough. So yeah, it could be my subconscious saying, "He thinks you're worthless 'cuz you don't make as much money as he does."

These are some good things to think about. Thanks for all the input everyone!

[Magpie]

That's something else that occurred to me after I did a little poking around on dream interpretation websites earlier myself. I do feel like I sometimes don't "pull my weight" in our relationship. He has a fulltime job that pays very well, while I work from home making jewelry. I don't make nearly as much money as he does. I do take care of the house (all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. are my responsibilities) and we've had the discussion, many times, about whether I should get an actual job or not, and he says he doesn't want me to, and I'm happy doing what I'm doing, but even still, I still sometimes feel like it's not enough. So yeah, it could be my subconscious saying, "He thinks you're worthless 'cuz you don't make as much money as he does."

*ahem*

I'll start by saying that I agree with your interpretation approach - figure out what it is an example of, see how that might apply to your life. I am, however, disappointed in you for feeling like you don't pull your weight around the house. Basically, you're staying at home and taking care of the house. That sounds like work. Ok, if it's just the house and not kids it might be a full time job. Oh look. You have a job that pays money. If you're worried about money, though, figure out how much more money it would cost for you two to not have you taking care of the house. How much more would you eat out if you weren't at home to cook? Would more food be going bad in the fridge because you're not around to monitor it? etc.

[MaggieTheCat]

I know. We've talked about all that and agreed, those are all reasons why I stay home (and because the cats would start a rebellion if there wasn't someone around to give them attention whenever they wanted it, now that they're used to someone being home all the time. ) It's just a weird subconscious block that I have.

[terakhan]

Honestly, I think you hit the nail on the head yourself.

Consider the choir performance as a desire for attention, or perhaps to be listened to, and him refusing to attend for whatever reason.
You say you wake up from the dream wanting attention.
Similarly in your real life, you have something of a ritual to let him know dinner is ready, and I get the impression he hasn't quite picked up on that ritual 100%.

But that is just my amateur analysis, and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.