still a bit in shock

[smileyeagle1021]

Okay, I don't know why this is affecting me so much, but I had a friend (well, a guy who I played games with on facebook... so not even much of a friend) died on Friday.
Here's the hard part, other than being so unexpected, I mean we chatted quickly on Thursday and there was no indication that something was wrong, then Friday gone... and I only heard about it because today a mutual friend invited me to the funeral (which I can't go to, too far away). I have no idea what happened and I don't know the mutual friend well enough to ask her what happened (at least not this soon).
I don't know why this is bothering me so much... I know every death is tragic, but I hardly knew the guy, why is it effecting me so much?

[csquared]

Because you are a good person and you care.

[Amina516]

Im sorry. Any loss no matter how small, can affect us greatly. And I agree with CSquared.

But I have to ask, If this mutual friend invited you to the funeral, why cant you ask what happened? I think if you knew, itd give you a bit of closure and it sounds like you need it.

[smileyeagle1021]

Because I don't know her that well, and I know that she was his best friend and it probably isn't the right time to be talking to her about what I know is going to be a painful topic for her.

[DeltaSierra]

You're a good person, smiley.

[smileyeagle1021]

I think I figured out why this has bothered me so much... because for the longest time I passed up so many opportunities to build the relationship beyond "that nice guy I chat with while playing online games" to perhaps a true friend because after all, there is always tomorrow, what's the rush... now there won't be a tomorrow.

[csquared]

Several years ago, I got a "wake up call" that made me realize how fragile and fleeting life is. It made me think about all the opportunities I missed to "really" get to know someone. I am trying to make it a point not to make that mistake too many more times (you can't get to know everybody).

I am hoping that some day soon, I get the chance to meet you. And even if I don't get to meet you, I hope I can put a check mark next to your name and say "Yup. I got to know Smileyeagle."

By the way... Contact the mutual friend. Let her know that you are there for her, and that when she is up to it, you would like to know what happened. Also ask if you can make a donation in his name to a charity or to help plant a memorial tree.