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  • I would very definitely watch that show.
    "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

    Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

    The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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    • So my partner and I use a carsharing scheme for the moments when we need a car (generally re-enactment meetings and events - one of the benefits is that they have different size cars available, so we can use a small car for re-enactment meets and a van for events to transport the gear).

      Well, it turns out our neighbours 3-year-old kid has associated the carsharing companies logo with us. Whenever she sees it, she'll yell out excitedly "Look, it's Lady and SO's car!" This is even if the car is a different make/model.

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      • On FaceBook, a teacher friend of mine posted that she was glad that tomorrow is a day off and that she gets to stay in bed late. I almost posted, "The mailman and I are right there with you."

        It's probably a good thing I didn't post that.
        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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        • Just remembered how in 8th grade we had to write a fiction story. I wrote about a man who murdered his shrewish wife. Shortly after the stable where he worked got a new horse. The horse hated him and constantly tried to hurt him. The man hated the horse too but couldn't seem to stay away from it. Eventually he accidentally got locked in its stall and the horse trampled him to death and in the morning his bloody remains were found among the straw. At the end it was revealed the horse and his murdered wife HAD THE SAME NAME 😮

          If you said I read a lot of Poe around the ages of 12-13, you would be correct.
          https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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          • One of the things I accomplished today was emptying out a box of (mostly) random papers that's been sitting on my floor for who knows how long ... buried under a pile of other stuff.

            One of the things I unearthed from the box was ... a flattened cigarette pack, formerly holding 25 Matinée cigarettes.

            I don't smoke and never have. I have no clue why it ended up in that box. In terms of mementos of my mother, I'd rather have photographs ....
            Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
            ~ Mr Hero

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            • Dentist office desk lady: Would you like the updated estimate to replace the acrylic veneers on your teeth with porcelain ones?

              Me: How about I tell you our financial situation, and then you can tell me if I want to know?

              DODL: Tells me anyway.

              Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAthanksnothappening.
              https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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              • Just went to do a load of laundry (it's midnight) and while waiting for the elevator, I found myself squinting at the door of the apartment at the end of the hallway. Is that door ... open?

                Yes, yes it was ... It was very obviously not properly closed. Now, I occasionally leave my door unlocked but it's ALWAYS clearly closed. This door was not.

                I know this is a secure building, but still ...
                Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                ~ Mr Hero

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                • My 39 y.o. daughter was asking why some of her music tracks have CD skipping crackles & pops no matter where she listens to them: Played from a CD, ripped, downloaded, streamed...


                  "Honey, they're simulating old, dirty, scratched vinyl!"
                  Last edited by dalesys; 01-26-2020, 03:32 AM.
                  I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                  Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                  Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                  • If the brand name of those gummy vitamins is "One-a-Day", why does the bottle say you have to take two per serving?
                    "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                    "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                    • WWE announcer: This is Dolph Ziggler's 13th Royal Rumble!

                      Husband: 13 years in the Royal Rumble, 14 years since he last ate a pizza.

                      Me: No wonder he's so mad.
                      https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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                      • I really want to slap these people on Book of Faces who make remarks like "If your opinion of such-and-such differs from mine, I WILL TOTALLY CUT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE."

                        Somebody did that earlier this evening. My opinion of the issue was slightly different from his (as in: I as not 100% opposed to his take on the issue) but that kind of bullshit annoys me. I outlined my stance and said "Which, I guess, makes me persona non grata here. I'll see myself out." After which I unfriended him.

                        What exactly do people think this kind of threat accomplishes?
                        Last edited by Pixelated; 02-08-2020, 07:16 AM.
                        Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                        ~ Mr Hero

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                        • Quoth Pixelated View Post
                          ...What exactly do people think this kind of threat accomplishes?
                          Improves the perfection of their circular firing squad.
                          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                          • Husband and I wAtched the second episode of The Witcher.

                            Yep, it's still awful.
                            https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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                            • Quoth dalesys View Post
                              Improves the perfection of their circular firing squad.
                              Well, that's certainly true!

                              I found another pigeon in need of medical help in the parking lot today. Unfortunately, I couldn't catch it. This one, unlike the last one, could still get airborne ... sort of. Every time I got close it would take wing ... and fly in drunken circles, and when it finally stumbled back to the ground, it would fall over.

                              I finally thought to try to lure it into my cat carrier with some oats (hey, it was all I had) but when I went back out I couldn't find the poor thing anywhere. It wasn't where I had left it, it wasn't under any of the nearby vehicles ...

                              I wish I'd caught the name of the fellow tenant who helped me rescue the last one, although I'm not sure he'd want to be on anybody's list of "guy to call when you need somebody to help catch pigeons."

                              Anyway, please think some kind thoughts for a poor pigeon who will almost certainly not make it through the night.
                              Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                              ~ Mr Hero

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                              • Husband asked me to watch a Nova documentary with him about Rosalind Franklin so I could help him come up with questions (he is going to show it to his class and needs post-watch questions). He rejected my bonus question, "Is James Watson an enormous fucking douchebag?"
                                https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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