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*squishy-hugs Kanalah* I care. A lot. *clings to you* Don't go away.
Two of my mom's cousins died this week. I have to tell her. Um. *hides*
1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
----- http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)
I don't think I've ever posted in here although I sometimes read what's going on. What brings me to post?
*snip*
I sometimes wonder why my mother hates me so much. Why she always went out of her way to treat me like shit no matter how hard I tried to be the daughter she wanted. Even when I had gone to college in order to try to get a better career than waiting tables all my life, she would go around telling people I was an unfit mother. Despite her having told me to my face that she supported my decision to go back to school.
Why are parents like this to their children? Why did I end up with a mother like her? Why does she STILL blame me for everything that goes wrong? And why the hell can't my idiot brother STOP TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK GOES ON IN OUR MOTHER'S LIFE?! I get it, everything is my fault. Her diabetes getting worse, the fighting between my mother and dad, my dad ending up with pneumonia every year, and even their house looking like a disaster zone. I haven't seen them in over six years and haven't spoken to them in close to two, so how is everything still my damn fault? My mother made her bed so now she gets to lay in it...I just wish she'd take some damn responsibility for her own actions instead of still trying to blame me for it all.
*sigh*
Rant over....sorry folks.
Patiokitty, I don't know why some parents are like that. My maternal grandfather's mother seems to have hated him all his life ... he was the eldest, and a boy, in a European peasant farming community; you'd have thought he'd have been the apple of her eye but she had no use for him at all, no matter what he did. But boy, she was certainly willing to demand he help out his younger brother and sister, whom she treated like royalty.
Karma bit, of course. In her old age, the "royalty" -- who by now truly believed they really did deserve to get whatever they wanted -- basically tried to rip off all her old age benefits, forced her out of her apartment and then shuffled her from one house to another, treating her like a servant in each house. Guess who finally came to her rescue? The despised son.
In his 90s, my grandfather was still trying to make sense of her attitude. The only thing I can think of is that when he was very, very young, both he and an older sister fell ill with some standard childish illness -- but this was long before vaccines. She died and he lived. Maybe that was all it took. Maybe if it had been the other way around she'd have treated the daughter as poorly, who knows?
He ultimately cut his siblings out of his life. Like you, he'd had enough. But as others have said, it's got nothing to do with you or anything you did or didn't do. Even if she could verbalize a reason for her treatment of you, it probably wouldn't make any sense anyway.
As for your brother, can you tell him point-blank that you don't want care about this stuff and don't want to hear it? If he's on the phone, can you bring yourself to hang up on him? If he's in the room, can you bring yourself to turn the TV on (with the volume way up), or get up and walk away? My guess is that he'll continue to relay all the "news" until you make it quite clear that you will cut him off at the knees -- figuratively speaking -- every time he tries.
I must apologise to you all profusely.... for having to be associated however remotely with an evil, evil, person like me.
I admit, in clearing out my stuff and choosing what to keep and what to throw (ready to move house) I did something completely unacceptable. I put the bags of rubbish by the back door and DIDN'T separate out the recycling.
*hangs head in shame*
(Yes, I've had a 10 minute tirade from the outgoing husband on how dare I....)
Tell your outgoing hubby that in view of:
1) the ongoing Fukushima f*ckup
2) the rapidly melting polar ice caps
3) the supervolcano that's apparently lurking beneath Yellowstone and which is long overdue for a blowout
your lousy little bag or two of unseparated recyclables is pretty damn small potatoes.
Better yet, just smack him upside the head with a 2x4.
.... and the next you hear,Gizmo's husband hasn't been seen or heard of for days. And all the recycling bins are VERY full.But beautifully separated out into the groups.Just as he'd like it to be....
The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.
.... and the next you hear,Gizmo's husband hasn't been seen or heard of for days. And all the recycling bins are VERY full.But beautifully separated out into the groups.Just as he'd like it to be....
Liver & lights go in ...
Cods & Peeps go in ..., cuz they're round
...
I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.
It's amazing how quickly a conversation with my mother can turn sour when she's on the gin. Started off okay - I was just trying to play on my DS - but quickly got on to how my relationship with my boyfriend is all wrong because we haven't had sex yet - according to her, if you aren't boinking on the third date there's something wrong, which she concluded with the opinion that 'he's probably gay'. Add that to the constant insults of my Housemate and how I need to move... and then when I tried to get dad to help shut her up she slaps me. I march off and she follows with 'oh it was only a joke!'.
Next year I'm spending Christmas at Boyfriend's. I'm sick and tired of Christmas being boring, lonely and insulting. My knees are really painful at the moment for some reason and I think I have a yeast rash all over my belly and under my breasts, but I haven't told her because I'm just a big hypo.
Roll on the 27th and a return to places where sane people live. Till then, *wraps up in a snuggly duvet*
aw ******hugs to little ray and friend***** especially at Christmas,losing a parent is heartbreaking.
And to Dragons ***hugs*** for waiting till wedding day.A lot of respect for those people who have decided to wait and not leap into bed straight away.
The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.
And that I thought that I should pre-pay for my funeral services to ya know be less of a jerk. So now I need to save up money. *sigh*
Edit: And yeah I know - no one cares. Big whoop. I already know I don't have any friends and my family doesn't care.
Kanalah, let the bastards pay, that's the least they can do, the way they treat you (not that you should hasten that payment, find a place and way to be happy, that's the better way).
We care! Never doubt it.
I'm sure that if you decide to go somewhere else, there will be a lot of offers of sofa space and help.
Holy crap! Been trying to call the nursing home where Mom is for THIRTY MINUTES and the line is constantly busy!! Thank the gods it's nothing serious! (I'm on the Secret Santa list and just wanted to let them know I AM bringing in the gifts but not till tomorrow ... and to apologize for being so late ...)
I have never had this happen before. Busy, yes, but not for this length of time! Oh well, off to my last shift at work before The Big Day ...
I've been sick since the end of September. I can handle the runny nose, I can handle coughing. I can even handle the damn migraines/sinus headaches. But, what's pissing me off, is the breathing problems I've been dealing with.
I could understand being short of breath while doing heavy work in the yard, or carrying an engine block around. But, getting that while sitting at my desk? What the fuck?
Seems that because this year is/was the worst ever for sinus/allergy issues, I have some sort of inflammation inside my lungs. Since finding that out, I've had to take it easy. I haven't been able to work in the yard (dad's been helping out a great deal), no working on the car, and I have to be very careful what I do at the gym.
While all this crap was going on, I had to get several tests done. Not only do I have breathing issues...but my liver apparently doesn't process things the way it's supposed to. So I've had to tweak my diet a bit. I've cut back on sodas (which what I usually use to control the migraines), and cut out most junk food. I'd been meaning to do that anyway, and already my pants actually fit now
But, the reason I'm in the blanket fort? The cost of all those tests, has not only eaten up most of my year-end bonus, but has added some stress that I really don't need right now
Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari
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