Official CS blanket fort

[CaroPhoenix]

Today, today Child Rum was very clingy. I have no clue why. Just don't understand it. She wanted me to stay with her and play with her. She kept giving me hugs. And they weren't her usual quick-like-a-bunny hugs neither, it was clinging to Mommy hugs. And of course when I talked to my own Mommy, she was like: "Yes, of course. You're the center of Child Rum's universe. She always wants to know where you're at. When you and Mr. Rum have dates, and she's over here with your father and me, she asks for you constantly. Never asks about Mr. Rum, never ever. He doesn't exist in her little universe." And then I got off the phone and did this:

And I'm still feeling like a failure about what happened at the pediatrician's office yesterday.

I feel ... battered. Not physically. Just emotionally.

[Kanalah]

*hugs for rummy*

My kids are like that sometimes. They yell at me, throw toys at me and hit me. My daughter constantly asks for daddy. It makes me feel terrible. While we were at the ER, daughter kept screaming for daddy.

But then when I go to class, or run errands alone on Saturday I hear stories from hubby how both kids were screaming and pleading for me.

And I will admit that some times my depression has gotten so bad that I actually convince myself that *I'm* the one that the kids don't need and that they'd be a lot better off if I leave.

I hate how my parents ed up my brain.

[Treasure]

*slinks in holding stuffed aminals*...

today is the 4th anniversary of a friend of mine's passing... I am the same age she was when she passed - its a little surreal -

i'm a little weepy today - I think I'll buy a yellow rose (they were her favorites) I guess its a good thing I'm only at work til noon today...

[Taboo]

Have a plane to catch in a couple hours and I'm terrified. Not because of being hurtled through the air, but because I almost died last time I flew - I have a potentially fatal peanut allergy that can be triggered by even having peanut dust in the air or touching something with the oils on it. Being stuck in an enclosed space where if I have an allergy reaction I may not make it to a hospital in time is horrifying. I'm getting there early to notify them so they can clean the plane before I get on but flying is now stressful no matter what. =(

[Midnight12]

idrinkarum and Kanalah
if it helps...daughter has been clingy to me ever since tuesday and I think its BECAUSE she can tell I need loves, just like little rum is doing.
and Kanalah I don't think your kids are trying to pit you and your hubs against each other but I think they need you BOTH to hug and love.
and i know, every little thing daughter has been doing, every time i put her down just so i can use the bathroom and she bawls it hurts or makes me feel like i am not helping but its only because i think she has an abundance of emotions and just can't sort them out yet or no other self soothing is working but mom and dad.

Big hugs to all, went to storage this morning and got the "life size" huggy plushes as i call them. (as big as a toddler) the room, it is full to bursting, please take one!

[dragon_wings]

Aww! *hugs everyone*

Today sucked. Anyone have any alcohol? I gotta wait till tomorrow to get mine (only one liquor store that I know of sells After Shock dammit. It should be a crime!).

[Elspeth]

It is the last day of the month. It is the start of a 4 day weekend. Why are people at their offices?!?!?!?!?

I have crap to do and I would like to be able to leave early, dang it.

[CaroPhoenix]

I think Child Rum is getting a cold. She at least has a cough. I'm praying it's allergies, and it doesn't interfere with her eye surgery on July 6.

And now I've found out the Gaming Store I used to work at has closed down!

[Eisa]

-takes a giant plushie and cuddles it-

I'm just...meh, I don't even know. If I have a distraction, I'm ok. As soon as the distraction goes away, I start feeling like shit again. FYI, it's impossible to be distracted every second of the day.

[Midnight12]

it is Eisa, it is very impossible yet i still find a way...oddly. until sleep. but it doesn't help that my brain reboots or fails on me in the middle of a task.
i'm on my way to do something and at least two times this happens. "wait, what was i doing?....oh yeah!"
its gone from being able to multi-task to one track mind

cocoa flavored coffee? or coffee flavored hot chocolate/cocoa

[Kanalah]

I was finally able to work on a quilt today and it felt so good. I had forgotten again how quilting puts me in a happy zen state and cheers me up.

[Mishi]

*Cuddles with everyone* I have the flu now, Bubbles got better on the way to the doctors, of course! Seems to be just a virus or she's got bronchiolitis again, go back if she's sick again or her fever comes up. I love the receptionist at our doctor's surgery, she apologised for the long wait because of 'several small emergencies' and said, with a straight face and a chirpy voice: "One guy was trying to check out early so Doctor had his hands full sorting out that gentleman's heart attack."

[Eisa]

-snorgles everything-

Note to self: if you've started to feel down, listening to KoRn does not make that better. It actually makes it worse. You're an idiot.

Also really wish I'd stop feeling so spacey.

[CaroPhoenix]

I've been listening to Riu Chiu by The Monkees (lyrics here - both in the original and translated)

And I've been listening to The Rose by Bette Middler. (lyrics can be found here)

[Cat]

Anyone who needs plushie cuddles, I offer my "Plumpee Cats." They are mushy and make great snuggling pillows.