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Key West is many things, some great, some bad, but one thing it is, despite the millions of tourists, is in essence a small town. We only have about 25,000 permanent residents, plus a few more thousand who live on the other Lower Keys, and that makes for a small community. The running joke with tourists is "What happens in Key West, stays in Key West." Which is great if you're a tourist...you can go hog wild. The problem is, if you LIVE here, that means everyone knows your shit. Which means, in essence, you better not be a total fuckup if you want to continue to be employed here.
Which brings us to yesterday at The Bar. New Boss Man comes up to me and asks, "Do you know K.J*., who used to be a manager at Dance Club?" I told him I thought so, and asked why? Apparently some of NBM's friends at Another Bar had emailed NBM about K.J., as apparently he was seeking employment there. So I then asked NBM to clarify who we were talking about....which K.J. was this? NBM checked his email, and came back to tell me the K.J. in question was Keith Jesperson*.
Did I know him? Oh, yeah I did. Several months ago, when there was a management shakeup at the restaurant where I do magic once a week, K.J. was hired to be the new General Manager. He lasted less than a month. I told NBM that I would double check with one of my friends at the restaurant, to make sure I had the story straight so I could give NBM the total lowdown on K.J. After a quick call to said friend, I turned to NBM with the information I already had and some new, BONUS information on this K.J. character.
This guy, who had (allegedly) been fired from Dance Club, worked at the restaurant for only two weeks before he was fired by ownership. Apparently he was (allegedly) a big cokehead, he (allegedly) refused to take the restaurant's mandatory drug test, he often missed or called out of his shifts for various reasons, and while all of that is one thing, he was fired after only two weeks (somewhat) on the job for stealing money from the safe. Remember, this is the General Manager we're talking about here! But K.J. did last long enough to order and pay (with restaurant funds) a plaque proclaiming the Manager of the Month as (you guessed it) K.J. himself.
Most of this was unofficial, and my friend made that clear, as did I to NBM. This is not stuff you would put down in official documents (though the restaurant DID document his theft of cash from the safe when they terminated his employment). But I told NBM all of this (unofficially, of course), he emailed his friends at Another Bar, and I would venture a guess that K.J. did NOT land the job at Another Bar.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna be a coked-out, lazy, halfwit thief when put in a position of responsibility, either don't do it in a small town where word gets around, or else once you've done it in a small town, LEAVE TOWN. Fucking idiot.
*I have not used any real names here. While the subject of this post DOES go by his initials, that is the only similarity between his real name and the one I've given him here, purely for my own amusment. Keith Jesperson, for those who are wondering, is the name of the "Happy Face Killer," a serial killer who lured prostitutes to their death in several states while he was employed as a truck driver.
Which brings us to yesterday at The Bar. New Boss Man comes up to me and asks, "Do you know K.J*., who used to be a manager at Dance Club?" I told him I thought so, and asked why? Apparently some of NBM's friends at Another Bar had emailed NBM about K.J., as apparently he was seeking employment there. So I then asked NBM to clarify who we were talking about....which K.J. was this? NBM checked his email, and came back to tell me the K.J. in question was Keith Jesperson*.
Did I know him? Oh, yeah I did. Several months ago, when there was a management shakeup at the restaurant where I do magic once a week, K.J. was hired to be the new General Manager. He lasted less than a month. I told NBM that I would double check with one of my friends at the restaurant, to make sure I had the story straight so I could give NBM the total lowdown on K.J. After a quick call to said friend, I turned to NBM with the information I already had and some new, BONUS information on this K.J. character.
This guy, who had (allegedly) been fired from Dance Club, worked at the restaurant for only two weeks before he was fired by ownership. Apparently he was (allegedly) a big cokehead, he (allegedly) refused to take the restaurant's mandatory drug test, he often missed or called out of his shifts for various reasons, and while all of that is one thing, he was fired after only two weeks (somewhat) on the job for stealing money from the safe. Remember, this is the General Manager we're talking about here! But K.J. did last long enough to order and pay (with restaurant funds) a plaque proclaiming the Manager of the Month as (you guessed it) K.J. himself.
Most of this was unofficial, and my friend made that clear, as did I to NBM. This is not stuff you would put down in official documents (though the restaurant DID document his theft of cash from the safe when they terminated his employment). But I told NBM all of this (unofficially, of course), he emailed his friends at Another Bar, and I would venture a guess that K.J. did NOT land the job at Another Bar.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna be a coked-out, lazy, halfwit thief when put in a position of responsibility, either don't do it in a small town where word gets around, or else once you've done it in a small town, LEAVE TOWN. Fucking idiot.
*I have not used any real names here. While the subject of this post DOES go by his initials, that is the only similarity between his real name and the one I've given him here, purely for my own amusment. Keith Jesperson, for those who are wondering, is the name of the "Happy Face Killer," a serial killer who lured prostitutes to their death in several states while he was employed as a truck driver.
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