If you were in charge what would you do?

[snugglegirl05]

I have read many posts on this website, & I am wondering if you were in charge, how would you deal with sucky customers who....

• verbally abuse CSR's in person or over the phone
• have a hissy fit when they do not get their way
• deliberately lie to get their way
• talk on their cell phone while you are completing their transaction
• make threats
• make unreasonable demands
• file baseless complaints
• file frivilous complaints
• expect you to do something you have no authority to do
• expect you to drop what you are doing to help them especially when you are helping other customers

[csquared]

If I were in charge?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (cough cough)

I need to work on that maniacal laugh.

My employees would love/hate me. I would demand perfection, but in exchange, the would be allowed to rip SCs apart.

I would also spend a lot of time in court. Steal something, intentionally damage something, throw something at an employee or threaten an employee and your @$$ is getting arrested.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I have read many posts on this website, & I am wondering if you were in charge, how would you deal with sucky customers who....

[*]verbally abuse CSR's in person or over the phone

Stab them in the face.

have a hissy fit when they do not get their way

Stab them in the face.

deliberately lie to get their way

Stab them in the face.

talk on their cell phone while you are completing their transaction

Stab them in the face.

make threats

Call the police, and then stab them in the face.

make unreasonable demands

Gentle good humor.

JK! Stab them in the face.

# file baseless complaints
# file frivilous complaints

Stab them in the face. Two for one.

expect you to do something you have no authority to do

Stab them in the face.

expect you to drop what you are doing to help them especially when you are helping other customers

Tell them they'll need to wait their turn to be stabbed in the face.

I think you see now why I will never be in charge of anything.

[zombiequeen]

I have to agree with the stabbing of the faces...
I would turn into velociraptor mode and rip their bellies apart! (just to see if they're really full of shit!)

[Andara Bledin]

• verbally abuse CSR's in person or over the phone
• have a hissy fit when they do not get their way
• deliberately lie to get their way
• talk on their cell phone while you are completing their transaction
• make threats
• make unreasonable demands
• file baseless complaints
• file frivilous complaints
• expect you to do something you have no authority to do
• expect you to drop what you are doing to help them especially when you are helping other customers

If I were in charge....
*cue wavy dream sequence lines*

Anyone that was verbally abusive to my minions over the phone would be disconnected any and every time they crossed specific lines. Foul language? *click* Hate speech? *click* Threats? *click* and a report to the local police.

If they were abusive in person or otherwise made an unacceptable scene, they would be asked to leave and trespassed if they refuse to do so. Third time gets a permaban. If they need what I have so much, they can hire someone with some decency to come in. And I get to decide what is acceptable.

Liars, whiners, beggars, complainers who don't have even remotely legitimate gripes can all go pound sand. And my minions are free to tell them so, although not quite in so many words. I reserve the right to tell people to "pound sand" for myself.

Those who demand more than my minions are authorized to do will be stonewalled and given a card with information to escalate their issue. If they can't accept that, they'll be asked to leave and trespassed if they refuse to do so. Third ejection earns a permaban.

People on cell phones to their ears are invisible and inaudible except in the rare case where the person in the store needs input from the person on the other end of the phone. And that is only valid if they have removed the phone from their ear to convey this to the minion assisting them. The invisibility clause includes those with bluetooth ear pieces.

For those who think they are more special than the people around them, my minions will be free to go ahead and put them at the front of the queue, but only after receiving, in cash, a non-refundable $500 expedite fee. No fee and they can wait in line just like everybody else.

My minions will know that I am the law, but they will also know that I won't put any counter-productive policies in place, I will trust them to be able to do their jobs after they receive adequate training, and I will have their backs should an SC rear his ugly head. I will also have a state of the art security system in place so that no matter what happens, it will never be a case of the minion's word against the SC's and to also provide evidence for use in prosecuting shoplifters, vandals, and trespassers.

*wavy dream sequence ending lines*

Yeah... I'd love to run my own place.

^-.-^

[Dave1982]

Let's just say that if I were in charge we'd have to have a full-time team of bouncers

[Amethyst Hunter]

Stab them in the face...Stab them in the face...Stab them in the face...I think you see now why I will never be in charge of anything.

I like you. Would you like to be my Minion In Charge Of Stabbitying?

[tropicsgoddess]

I have read many posts on this website, & I am wondering if you were in charge, how would you deal with sucky customers who....

• verbally abuse CSR's in person or over the phone
• have a hissy fit when they do not get their way
• deliberately lie to get their way
• talk on their cell phone while you are completing their transaction
• make threats
• make unreasonable demands
• file baseless complaints
• file frivilous complaints
• expect you to do something you have no authority to do
• expect you to drop what you are doing to help them especially when you are helping other customers

The verbally abusive SC's will hear the lovely sound of the dial tone.

I'll go Dr.Cox or R.Lee Ermey on their asses if they throw a hissy fit or make unreasonable demands.

Talk on a cellphone while completing a transaction or at the counter to be be served? They can wait if their cellphone chat/text is that important.

Make threats? On the phone..meet the dial tone. In person...get their asses tossed out by the store/city/county's finest.

Expecting me to drop everything for them, even if I help other customers? Make them wait...and for a long time until they can do so patiently. If they can't I'll make them pay the asshole tax of $50 for every whine/bitch/moan they give while waiting their turn.

File baseless and frivolous complaints? If it's a letter it will go through Sra. Basura. In person...pay the asshole tax of $100 per baseless and frivolous complaint.


Expecting me to do things I have no authority to do? Especially after being told more than once? A firm no and a . If they keep doing that, I might just go A Pimp Name Slickback on their ass.

[MoonCat]

I'd tell the staff that they have permission to hang up on anyone who insults them, threatens them, uses foul, racist and/or sexist language, or demands that we do something for them that is against policy/against the law/against common sense. And they'd have permission to blow a raspberry into the phone first.

We'd also have caller ID and a system that would block the phone numbers of persistent offenders.

Good customers (aka polite, pleasant people who ask sensible questions, say please and thank you, don't swear, don't yell and always pay without griping about the cost) would be given freebies and special promotions once a month.

People who insist on bitching about the rates would be assessed an additional $10 charge for every gripe. People who bitch about having to wait on hold would be assessed an additional $20 charge. And sent back to the "hold" system.

[Mikkel]

Turn them away, they cost more in wasted time than they pay. I didn't have many unreasonable customers while I had my bike shop, but I wasn't afraid of asking the few I had to leave and never come back.

[lordlundar]

Fire, and lots of it.

In all honesty though, I'd make a point that I will not allow or tolerate abusive people (who by my definition are no longer customers), and will exercise the full effect of "we have the right to refuse service" to my staff and signs posted everywhere detailing this. Abusive people will be refused service immediately, and if they want to talk to a manager, then the response will most likely be "get out before we call the police".

People who seek to cause nothing but problems are a bigger loss to profits in terms of time and money wasted to appease them than to simply let them go. I just wish more companies would follow that train of thought.