End of the year issues

[morgana]

Mytical, I'm going to echo MoonCat here. You are valuable to us; you have a great deal to offer and we'd like to keep you around. For a long time.

Also, check with your doctor about something called Seasonal Affective Disorder. Some people also call it "winter blues". In some people, the darker days of winter can trigger depression, even if you don't have it the rest of the year. If you want some tips on making winter easier, PM me. I've been dealing with SAD for a long time now.

About your Mom: how long have your parents been married? If this is the first time this has happened, it has a chance of being something the three of you can tackle. Professional help, if your father is willing, would greatly help that. If it happens again, though, well, people have lost everything and managed to climb out the other side.

Just don't go away, okay? We need all the good people we can find. (Yes, I mean you.)

Morgana

[Mytical]

Thanks everybody. In some ways I love the holidays. I like making little self made gifts (especially poems) to cheer people up, enjoy the delight in kids eyes, and from time to time I can come out from under the cloud occasionally.

Every year it seems a bit more bleak though. People seem to forget the spirit of the holiday, and it becomes just another rat race. Gotta have the latest tech, the most expensive gifts, the largest turkey. Push people outta the way type thing. It's depressing. However, its that 18th of January that really gets me down.

Most of my life has been dedicated in helping people to see just how great, and amazing, they are. Get fatigued from fighting the good fight, and start to wonder if it is worth it. My family could give a rats behind it seems. All my friends are hundreds or thousands of miles away, not a single friend left in the area. Feels like the only two people who me disappearing would matter to would only be because it would make surviving a bit harder on them.

As for going to the doctor for anything, no insurance (due to preexisting either nobody will insure me or the cost is astronomical) and can't afford to go. *shrugs*

[MoonCat]

Mytical, you could try checking online with your local health dept to see if there are any agencies that can provide healthcare for the uninsured. Just a thought.

And how are you today anyway? I've been thinking about you and Blas and Wenchie. Hope everything is OK.

[Mytical]

Dad is back to taking his medicine..for now. Until his next episode, then the "They are trying to poison me." comes out and he goes off of them again. Yay. Besides a few bumps and bruises I am doing ok.

[Cazzi]

Mytical

No advice or anything to give, but I know where you're coming from.
I don't do well this time of year either, I can already feel myself withdrawing from things.. not posted much although I've been reading everyday... sort of like finding out what distant family has been up to! I haven't been near chat. I'm not looking forward to the SOS for xmas & new year.
Its coming to the start of the 10th year of being single, my friends are miles away and probably after this year the person I want to be with the most, well, probably will very rarely see again, if ever. Sometimes I wish I could hibernate the winter away!

/end threadjack

[Mytical]

*hugs*. As for the single part, except for a few months this year I was working on a 36 year streak. The majority of that time was online.

[Mytical]

I've tried. I honestly did. For the first time in years, I put myself out there..trying to strike up conversations and get to know people. Only to fail, miserably. Face to face I am too awkward..and I can't seem to say what the heck I want to.

For the last year, I've tried new things and went new places. All in an effort to feel more human. Every time, I've just felt unwanted and like a fifth wheel.

People told me..hey people will see that inner light you have, that gentleness and they will respond. You will do fine. Unfortunately, my own social ineptness is glaringly apparent. Feel like chucking it all, throwing my hands up, and just accepting that I will be a hermit for the rest of my life.

[MoonCat]

Some of us are never going to be social butterflies. Being an introvert isn't a bad thing, usually. I'm happier at home with a book than going out partying.

It isn't easy to go out there and make that effort, and I give you props for that. I'm not comfortable around strangers, I'm not the type to just go up and introduce myself, so making friends is hard.

I do know that you can't overcome old habits and/or shyness all at once. Go easy and go slow. And keep in mind, most people are too busy thinking about themselves to really notice your quirks. They aren't judging you nearly as much as you judge yourself.