No Rest for the Weary

[hinakiba777]

Alright so every morning my mother comes in my room and wakes me up before my alarm because she doesn't want me to be late for work. I wake up 2 hours before my shift if it's morning shift, which gives me an hour and a half to get ready and half an hour to get to work. The drive only takes 15 minutes and I really don't take a lot of time getting ready. So I end up with a lot of free time in the morning. Time I think would be be spent resting for another half or so. Sadly, my mother insists I be up an hour and a half before I leave, and that I leave 30 minutes before work.

Often her waking me up before my alarm make me cranky, and we argue. I'm just not the type of girl to wake up at 6am, sorry world. Plus when I was in High School she used to wake me up 15 minutes before my alarm. So when I'm tired all I can think is that she woke me up early and I get annoyed.

Starting this week, Wally World goes into it's Xmas hours. That means the store is open 7 to 11 and as a cashier I have shifts starting at 6:45 or ending at 11:45. It annoys me dearly that my manager believes that my being available at 8am normally means that I'm available at 6:45am during Xmas hours. Especially as the winter weather means I have to drive slower, and take extra time in the morning to clean off my car. If waking at 6am bothers me, you can understand how I feel about getting up at 4:45am.

I was complaining to my coworkers about this. How my mother wakes me 2 hours before my shift, how when I'm tired I move slowly, how I REALLY do not want to have to get up at before 5am. So they suggested I simply not tell my parents what my schedule is for the week. It seemed like a logical solution. So I went with it. Today was to be the first day I had work where my parents had not idea when I was scheduled.

Then this morning my father came in at 5am, woke me up, and asked me what time I had to be at work.

My shift today wasn't until 10:30, and since I was staring in a play last night I got to bed a little late. Well not late really, a decent time for someone getting up at 8am. But since my dad didn't know my schedule he woke me up at 5am. I couldn't get back to sleep, and now I'm exhausted. I can barely keep my eyes open, and I'm about to start an 8 hour shift.

I don't know who I'm more frustrated with; My Co-Workers for their bad advice, myself for thinking this would work, my parents, or Wally World for assuming that just because I'm available for 8 normally that I'm willing to come in for 6:45 now.

Next job I have, I'm really going to have to clarify that. Anyway, question, comments, advice on how to defeat my parents?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I don't think it was necessarily bad advice on your coworkers' part...I mean, hey, it's worth a shot, right?

Have you told you parents how you feel about this? You don't mention doing so. Sit them down (maybe after dinner or something, not right after they've woken you up at 5 am), and calmly state how you feel. Don't get upset cuz that won't help your case. But you are 22 years old (I checked your profile) and you are perfectly capable of getting up in time to get ready for work. That's why you have an alarm clock. Tell them that. Getting woken up unreasonably early just makes you tired and cranky, leads to arguments, and it doesn't help anyone. They need to stop treating you like a little kid (my parents didn't even wake me up in high school unless I overslept my alarm). Tell them you are an adult, and you would like to be treated like one.

As for your managers, do they have your availability in writing? Tell them (again, calmly, and in a relatively quiet moment) that just because they have special hours doesn't mean that your availability has changed. If they ask you to state your availability, it's really not fair for them to schedule you outside of those times (especially on a regular basis and without asking you first - it's one thing to be flexible once in a while if you are able, it's another to let them take advantage of you). (This advice is assuming your managers are reasonable people, which I know is sadly not always the case.)

[Amina516]

BSE is full of excellent advice. TAKE IT!

[blas]

I feel for you. My parents were the same way with my brother and I. He still lives at home and they do it to him even when he doesn't work. His normal shifts (if he's in town) start at 7 am......when he's off, naturally he'd rather sleep in a tad.

They wake him up bright and early at 7 am even if he doesn't work, and when he yells at them or doesn't answer, usually mom goes roaring up the stairs and yells at him to get up and pounds on his door.

My parents are the type that think that anyone who sleeps in is apparently a bum. It really drives me crazy.

Even on their days off, they wake up at the buttcrack of dawn (well, this time of year, before that!). They believe everyone should be that way, save for night shift people.

[Plaidman]

Megahugs. Hope you get some kind of sleep. Sorry.

[hinakiba777]

BSE your advice is amazing. Though I have tried to calmly discuss this with my parents. In fact, when I had my summer job they were very understanding and let me wake of my own accord. It was nice. When I got on a Wally World, the waking me up extra early started. Since I don't live at home normally, and they didn't do this during the summer I was a unprepared for this. There really is no use talking to my mother anyway. She takes any criticism as a personal attack.

Moreover, I think they are just venting their frustration with my brother on me. He does not work, or go to school, lives at home, and sleeps most of the day. However, he is MUCH more willing to do chores around the house and is sometimes more respectful than I. My mother has often pointed out that my brother is more intelligent than I, so she is shocked that I have my life so together while he doesn't. HE IS NOT SMARTER THAN ME!

As for the advice on the managers, it's solid. And I may use it in the future. As of right now, I'm handing in my resignation on December 1st stating the 23rd will be my last day. I head back to university in January.

[Der Cute]

I would also print out a weekly schedule and post it to your bedroom door.
My habit when I was living alone and w/o a car, would be Get Up At 8, Leave At 9, Be there by 10.

Maybe your mother is thinking the same. If you reverse engineer your trip, you take 15-20 min to get to work. You take 20-30 min to get ready to leave. You take 10 min to eat breakfast. So, doing that, you could get up 1 hour before work, and get this all done. (you would have to plan ahead - put clothes out night before, make sure there's food, etc)
Shoot, if you wanted to take it easy, you could get up 1.5 hours before work.

Personally, I'd tell your mother "Hey. Thank you for the efforts, but I am an adult, and am organized enough to schedule my self for work. Please follow the schedule on the door, and let me wake up on my own time. If I AM late for work, that is MY own responsibility." (while thinking stfu people).

Another thought on the scheduling at work. I will bet that WM is using a piece of software to schedule when / where/ how many people are to be at work. Orange Apron did that, and told us, If you are Not Available 24x7, you will be put onto Weekends Only. (I got them for underemployment)
So if you are available for M-F (although the hours are limited) the software says Yay, She Does Mornings!

Make sure the manager has changed your hours in the sched software. It will help. Or just grin and bear it, then leave as scheduled.

[MoonCat]

Have you tried putting a lock on your bedroom door?

Although, they could just pound on it...

Try telling them that you don't want to become dependent on someone waking you up, that it undermines your responsibility for yourself. My sister used to get up earlier than I did and used to wake me up if I hit my snooze alarm too many times. I told her to stop, because if I got too used to it I'd never be able to change, and said if I'm late that's my problem, not yours. It worked.

[Seshat]

Moreover, I think they are just venting their frustration with my brother on me. He does not work, or go to school, lives at home, and sleeps most of the day.

Try telling them that.

Only don't phrase it that way. Phrase it "Sometimes I feel like you're taking out your feelings about <brother> not working on me. Please don't do that - I'll start resenting <brother>. And I don't want to. Instead, please be extra careful to treat me as me, and him as him."

Or your own words to that effect. By asking them to be respectful of your feelings towards <brother>, it sounds like you're not accusing them of anything, just asking them to be parents and help you.

[blas]

With certain parents, locking your door is a good way to have your door kicked in, or the door just taken off of its hinges so you don't get any privacy.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Sleep in the attic, or in another room they wouldn't ever go in, or the car. Make a nest of blankets. ... It may not work.
But that's only if they won't listen.

[hinakiba777]

With certain parents, locking your door is a good way to have your door kicked in, or the door just taken off of its hinges so you don't get any privacy.

This is true. When I was in High School I would barricade myself in my room and my brother would just break my door down.

My parents actually agreed to me changing my door knob to a privacy lock, but then we couldn't removed the only knob, so that got nixed.

Today my mother actually left me alone for the most part. I told her when I was getting up and to wait until 15 minutes after that before checking on me. She listened. Except that my father called from work at 5am to ask my mom if I was up yet. Honestly, the man is very bad when it comes to understanding other people's sleep schedules.

[gremcint]

lie.

Tell them you are scheduled later than you actually are.