That's certainly a different take on what I thought was a clean song.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

So, my five year old likes me to sing to her in the car. She wanted me to sing her "the song about the guy putting his head on the lady's breast with underwear on."

Bwah?

I don't know any songs like that, but I wish I did. People are always requesting my band do dirty songs, but we don't really know any.

After talking to her, I figured out what song she meant: Searching For Lambs. It's quite old, and it's about a man who meets a young shepardess, they exchange declarations of love, and marry. The "dirty part" is:

How gloriously the sun doth shine
How pleasant is the air
I'd rather rest on a true love's breast
Than any other where.

Maybe that song needs a little sexing up, who knows? I sing that part "In my underwear" now. Makes it a bit more interesting.

[Ree]

OMG...that is hilarious.

Kids are so cute.

[Jester]

People are often screwing lyrics up. There are many famous ones, but one of my favorites (which I never did) was the Jimi Hendrix song, in which he sings "Excuse me while I kiss the sky," but what many people heard was, "Excuse me while I kiss this guy."

My most egregious mishearing of lyrics was with the Eddie Money song "Walk on Water."

Eddie sings "All along, I told you lies. To err is human, forgive is divine."
For years I heard "All year long, I told you Lon: To Arizona, the key to survive."

Actually, the first line I heard a lot of mumbling. Which is part of my defense for this butchering of the song....Eddie Money is not known for his clear enunciation while singing. Sure, it doesn't make too much sense for a former New York cop to insist to someone that Arizona is the key to survival. But then, have y'all seen some of the actual lyrics of some songs out there? Forget sense, they are complete drivel. And I'm not even talking about the boy bands, mind you.

Besides, Arizona is a great place, if I do say so myself, and other bands have sung about it, including (but not limited to) The Eagles ("Take It Easy") and The Scorpions ("Arizona," one of only two Scorpions songs where they sing about an actual place, the other one being Gorky Park).

Yeah, I know, the defense falls flat in the end. But it was a valiant effort. (Though if Eddie Money were singing that last line, you might think there is a valet up front.....)

[jedimaster91]

For the longest time I thought Elton John was singing "Hold me closer, Tony Danza" instead of "Hold me closer, tiny dancer."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

For the longest time I thought Elton John was singing "Hold me closer, Tony Danza" instead of "Hold me closer, tiny dancer."

Well, you know, weirder things have happened. Who knows, maybe he was.

I love Eddie Money. There, I said it. I'm not ashamed.

[Jester]

I'm not ashamed of it either. I think Eddie Money rocks. Saw him at the Arizona State Fair one year. Dude is really, really big. Tall and big. And ugly. Tall, big, and ugly. I doubt he ran into too many problems when he was a cop.

Amusingly, Candlebox opened for him.

State fairs produce some weird combinations.

[MoonCat]

People are always requesting my band do dirty songs, but we don't really know any.

Well, there's always Monty Python's "Sit on My Face."

[XCashier]

Those misheard lyrics are often called mondegreens.

In the song "Groovin'" by The Rascals, I thought they were singing about a threesome: "Life could be ecstasy, you and me and Leslie"

[Kara]

I am reminded of an obscure sketch comedy bit. For the record, I always wondered why this song mentioned a "douche." So when I finally looked up the lyrics, it was like, "Oh, that makes sense."

[Eisa]

Hehe, that reminds me of two misheard lyrics from Emilie Autumn. I didn't mishear them this way sadly, but now I wish I had.

Correct lyrics: "Dead is the new alive. Despair's the new survival. A pointless point of view."

Misheard lyrics: "Dead is the new alive. This pear's the new survival. A pointless piece of fruit."


And...

Correct lyrics: "The pistol, the poison, the noose, or the knife."

Misheard lyrics: "The pistol, the poison, the moose of the night."

AWESOME.

[Plaidman]

My personal fave, which I STILL hear every so often by people.

Secret Agent Man by Johny Rivers, people swear it's Secret ASIAN man.


Which...makes no sense in context of the fucking song.

[Lindsey]

My five year old niece referred to "Thinkin Bout Somethin" by Hanson by singing the pre-chorus:

You've been out there shaking what Taylor's boys are chasing
And when I get home, I think I'll bring the n**ga man

This from a FIVE year old. Actual lyrics?

You've been out there shaking the tail the boys are chasing
And when I get home, you think I'll be the bigger man

As a result I can no longer listen to one of my favorite Hanson songs without dying a little inside. I love children.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I love Hanson, too.

I'm still not ashamed.

Well...okay. Maybe a little.

I should state that I' have had my Mmmmbop CD stolen, not once but TWICE, by coworkers. Men! Too chicken to go out and buy their own, see.

They remind me a lot of Jackson Five, back during their ABC days.

A friend of mine came up with lyrics for "Secret Asian Man", but I can't remember them. I just remember laughing very, very hard at him singing it.

[Lindsey]

I love Hanson, too.

I'm still not ashamed.

Well...okay. Maybe a little.

I should state that I' have had my Mmmmbop CD stolen, not once but TWICE, by coworkers. Men! Too chicken to go out and buy their own, see.

They're probably still embarrassed now that it's common knowledge that Taylor Hanson is a dude.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

My daughter thought they were girls. I couldn't figure out what she was asking for, she kept saying "I want to hear those three girls."