That's certainly a different take on what I thought was a clean song.

[Lindsey]

My daughter thought they were girls. I couldn't figure out what she was asking for, she kept saying "I want to hear those three girls."

So does my niece. Hahaha.. can we blame them?

[Frantic Freddie]

ZZ Top have written a lot of dirty songs,e.g. Tube Snake Boogie & Pearl Necklace (if you don't know what Pearl Necklace is about I'm not gonna explain it) & let's not even mention Mexican Blackbird

[mlmama]

My son and I had my daughter convinced forever that it was Secret Asian Man! LOL She couldn't figure out why someone would sing that!

[fireheart]

ZZ Top have written a lot of dirty songs,e.g. Tube Snake Boogie & Pearl Necklace (if you don't know what Pearl Necklace is about I'm not gonna explain it) & let's not even mention Mexican Blackbird

There's no way I'll be able to explain this without turning it into a NSFW thread, but I'll try anyway: A pearl necklace is where after a woman's been sucking on a man's um...candy cane, he deposits his DNA around her neck.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Candy cane.

I'm just happy we're past Christmas.

Anyhow, I still think Irene Cara was singing "Take your pants off and make it happen" in that one song Irene Cara is famous for.

[Bandit]

Don't forget about CCR.

Original Lyrics:

"Don't go around tonight,
Well, it's bound to take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise."

Often heard (and occasionally sung by John Fogarty in concert:

"Don't go around tonight,
If you have to take a light
Heeey the bathroom's on the right"

And yes, I have heard him sing the latter in concert deliberately - twice.

B

[Frantic Freddie]

There's no way I'll be able to explain this without turning it into a NSFW thread, but I'll try anyway: A pearl necklace is where after a woman's been sucking on a man's um...candy cane, he deposits his DNA around her neck.

Nope,it's a,shall we say,exotic form of stimulation that actually does involve a pearl or some other bead-type necklace or simply beads on a string.I believe the Kama Sutra has a description of it (could be wrong,ain't read it in many years).

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Nope,it's a,shall we say,exotic form of stimulation that actually does involve a pearl or some other bead-type necklace or simply beads on a string.I believe the Kama Sutra has a description of it (could be wrong,ain't read it in many years).

Hers is right too. It's the juvenile-too-obsessed-with-sex-for-my-own-good definition.

[Seshat]

I've heard both forms - and that the former form is why Frank'n'furter wears a pearl necklace in Rocky Horror.


A national anthem mondegreen:

"Australians all eat ostriches
Four minus one makes three
With olden royals and wealth for soil
Our home is dirt by sea.
Our lambs abound on nature strips
In booties stitched with care.
In history's page,
On every page,
Advance Australia Fair.
Enjoy full trains and let us in
Advance Australia Fair."

[Jester]

People are always requesting my band do dirty songs, but we don't really know any.

I didn't think of it last time, but I suggest y'all learn Adam Sandler's "At a Medium Pace." Starts off like a beautiful love song and then....gets people's attention.

I used to occasionally play it at the bar I DJ'd at and it really messed people up. And got tons of laughs by the time it was done.

A friend of mine came up with lyrics for "Secret Asian Man", but I can't remember them.

Sounds like a challenge. I'll see if I can work something up for that.

ZZ Top have written a lot of dirty songs,e.g. Tube Snake Boogie & Pearl Necklace (if you don't know what Pearl Necklace is about I'm not gonna explain it) & let's not even mention Mexican Blackbird

Let's not forget "Tush."

Anyhow, I still think Irene Cara was singing "Take your pants off and make it happen" in that one song Irene Cara is famous for.

She was actually famous for TWO songs. "Fame," from the movie of the same name, and "What a Feeling," from the movie "Flashdance."

Nope,it's a,shall we say,exotic form of stimulation that actually does involve a pearl or some other bead-type necklace or simply beads on a string.I believe the Kama Sutra has a description of it (could be wrong,ain't read it in many years).

Perhaps that is correct but, generally speaking, to most Americans it refers to the other one mentioned.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, we do folk songs and believe you me, there's plenty of dirty ones (in some cases, EXTREMELY dirty). No shortage of songs, just shortage of us getting off our asses and learning them.

I'm fond of "The Lusty Young Blacksmith" myself. Which is filthy, but way cleaner than "The Bastard King of England".

Tonight at practice, a bunch of them spontaneously broke out with "You love me, I love you, why don't we get drunk and screw?" to the tune of the Barney song. I about blew rum out of my nose.

[Jester]

Sounds like a challenge. I'll see if I can work something up for that.

I like a challenge. In less than an hour, I actually came up with something. (Amazing what you can do with plenty of free time, some beer, and a mission, no matter how twisted the mission may be.)

I dedicate this version to the new Green Hornet movie coming out. If you want to, feel free to sing along with my lyrics to the original song. I won't tell.


Kato's a man who leads a life of danger.
The white man that he works for keeps getting stranger.
He dreams of fighting crime, wears a green mask half the time.
Odd's are he'll be locked away tomorrow.

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man...
Hey, Reid's given you a costume and taken away your pride.

Beware of wealthy white boys with delusions.
They probably belong in padded institutions.
Oh, as soon as you get paid
cash your paycheck right away,
'cause odds are he'll be locked away tomorrow.

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man...
Hey, Reid's given you a Chrysler and taken away your pride.

------ lead guitar ------

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man...
Hey, Reid's given you a black mask and taken away your pride.

Puttin' out the L.A. paper one day,
and then drivin' down the Compton alleys next day...
Oh, he calls himself the Hornet
but a bee's stuck in his bonnet
and odds are he'll be locked away tomorrow.

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man...
Hey, Reid's made you his kung fu sidekick and taken away your pride.

Secret Asian man...

[fireheart]

A national anthem mondegreen:

"Australians all eat ostriches
Four minus one makes three
With olden royals and wealth for soil
Our home is dirt by sea.
Our lambs abound on nature strips
In booties stitched with care.
In history's page,
On every page,
Advance Australia Fair.
Enjoy full trains and let us in
Advance Australia Fair."

For anyone who cares, that is the Australian national anthem. And the lyrics are:

Australians all let us rejoice,
For we are young and free,
With golden soil and worth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea (although dirt makes more sense),
Our land abounds in nature's gifts
Of beauty, rich and rare,
In Historys page, let every stage,
Advance Australia Fair,
In joyful strains and let us sing,
Advance Australia Fair

There are two verses, but the second verse isn't usually heard at primary school level (which Seshat's version sounds like) and is usually heard at some formal events. That said, the version is cute

And a while back, a teenage music magazine invited people to send in their own mondegreens. Around that time, Shakira's "Wherever, Whenever" was becoming popular and one of the submissions was:

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them, with mountains."

Those are the actual lyrics!

[Setsunaela]

my mum always thought "oh ho ho it's magic" was a dirty song.. she was determined they sang "it's my D***"

[MoonCat]

I like a challenge. In less than an hour, I actually came up with something. (Amazing what you can do with plenty of free time, some beer, and a mission, no matter how twisted the mission may be.)

I dedicate this version to the new Green Hornet movie coming out. If you want to, feel free to sing along with my lyrics to the original song. I won't tell.


Kato's a man who leads a life of danger.
The white man that he works for keeps getting stranger.
He dreams of fighting crime, wears a green mask half the time.
Odd's are he'll be locked away tomorrow.

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man...
Hey, Reid's given you a costume and taken away your pride.

Beware of wealthy white boys with delusions.
They probably belong in padded institutions.
Oh, as soon as you get paid
cash your paycheck right away,
'cause odds are he'll be locked away tomorrow.

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man...
Hey, Reid's given you a Chrysler and taken away your pride.

------ lead guitar ------

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man...
Hey, Reid's given you a black mask and taken away your pride.

Puttin' out the L.A. paper one day,
and then drivin' down the Compton alleys next day...
Oh, he calls himself the Hornet
but a bee's stuck in his bonnet
and odds are he'll be locked away tomorrow.

Secret Asian man, secret Asian man...
Hey, Reid's made you his kung fu sidekick and taken away your pride.

Secret Asian man...

You rock. Literally.