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  • Any Muslims Here?

    One of my closest friends is a Sunni Muslim. Her sister is VERY close to death.

    Can non Muslims go to Muslim funerals? I know a LOT of people from school would want to go to a funeral to support my friend, but none of us are Muslim or know much about Muslim traditions. I'm afraid to ask my friend "Hey, what do you want us to do if your sister dies?" until something actually happens, but if it's forbidden, I can let people know what to expect.

    Hopefully I won't need to know.

  • #2
    I know a lot of Muslims and as far as I know a lot ofit depends on "how Muslim" (for the lack of a better term) they are. Most of the ones I know are liberal Muslims and most likely wouldn't mind non-Muslims at the funeral.

    I would suggest asking your friend. I know it may sound tacky but if she understands that you're going for her support she'd appreciate it. She may also have special requests to honor their traditions (burqa etc.).
    Quote Dalesys:
    ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

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    • #3
      Second that. Muslim beliefs seem to run the gamut, from super strict to quite lenient even on things widely considered to be universal to the religion, so the only way to know in this situation is to ask. I do gather from some things on another forum that Sunnis tend to be the more liberal sect.
      "English is the result of Norman men-at-arms attempting to pick up Saxon barmaids and is no more legitimate than any of the other results."
      - H. Beam Piper

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      • #4
        Could you contact a local Sunni Mosque and ask them for advice?

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        • #5
          I would:

          1) Call the friend and offer support. Ask if there is anything you can do for her or the family. The offer will be appreicated regardless of religion even if they don't take you up on it.

          2) Don't ask until she dies. Then call to offer condolences, then ask, "Our friends and I would like to come to the funeral and pay our respects. Would that be ok with you and your family? Are there any customs we should be aware of when we come?"

          I think your friend will appreciate the offers, and the family likely will too, even if the funeral is to be private.
          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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          • #6
            If you go, and your friend doesn't specify clothing, dress as modestly as possible.

            For both genders, this is non-fitted clothing (not even a princess line cut), with long sleeves, and long pants/skirt. Some sort of head covering would be preferred. If you're going to make a strong effort and you're female, wear a scarf that covers all of your hair*.

            Something similar that shows that you've made an attempt, would be perfectly acceptable. An attempt to respect their customs shows - well, respect.


            (*Depending on how strict the family is, only family or other women see a woman's hair. I live in an area with many Muslims, and some of the hairdressers now have one or more curtained cubicles that can be used when cutting the Muslim women's hair.)
            Seshat's self-help guide:
            1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
            2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
            3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
            4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

            "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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            • #7
              In case anyone ever wants to know, it is ok to have non-Muslims at a Muslim funeral, but we're supposed to sit in the back since we won't really be doing the praying stuff. The family is being sweet enough to find some extra headscarves for the women to borrow.

              Panacea, we were definitely giving my friend lots of support during the month her sister spent in the ICU. One of the new grads knew us from school and requested to keep working on her sister. Most of the nurses knew me because I was there very often and I usually brought enough food for them to have some. Hey, I'm not above bribery!

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              • #8
                Quoth trailerparkmedic View Post
                In case anyone ever wants to know, it is ok to have non-Muslims at a Muslim funeral, but we're supposed to sit in the back since we won't really be doing the praying stuff. The family is being sweet enough to find some extra headscarves for the women to borrow.
                That's understandable. Also a really good way to observe Muslim traditions since that's something most Western folks would not be familiar with.
                The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                Now queen of USSR-Land...

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