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So - I seem to be on a run of terrible personal luck with friends and dating. My friends are awesome, but keep moving far away for jobs, and my relationship luck is terrible. My last one fell apart in such a ridiculous chain of events though that as much as I was pissed at the time, I actually think it's kind of funny in retrospect, like some sort of soap opera storyline. I thought some of you might be amused by this.
As background, I'd been dating my ex for about 6 months.
Fail #1: Dumping me over the phone from out of state with no warning.
Fail #2: Implying it was because I was bad in bed. (Remember this, it'll be important later.)
Fail #3: Insisting he wanted to be friends, then disappearing for three months.
Then came a big local board gaming event that we'd both be at. He brought some personal things I'd left at his apartment since he thought I'd be there.
Fail #4: Spilling out to me in a huge, dramatic confession that he was actually cheating on me for more than half the relationship, which is really the sort of thing you either say when you break up or just bury forever.
Fail #5: Insisting he went back to his ex because he was soooo in love with her. And he totally was only emotionally tangled up with her and nothing physical happened so it's okay, it's totally not cheating! But he is going to try and save up money to move out of state to where she lives because he looooves her sooo very much.
Fail #6: "But I can't move out there for a few months, so would you be willing to sleep with me in the meantime? I'm really lonely right now."
*record scratch*
Bonus fail #7: He said all of this in front of a work client of mine who was at the event, who afterwards dubbed him a "piece of work" and congratulated me on dodging a bullet with that one.
Bonus fail #8: If you insist that you were only emotionally cheating, and not physically, do not give your ex-girlfriend back her personal things from your apartment and accidentally throw in some of the other girl's ... very, ahem, intimate items in the bag. It's the fastest way to undermine everything you've said!
Yes. He managed to fail that badly. I was rather pissed, but in retrospect - how does one even manage to create such a train wreck and what sort of mental fantasy world is he living in that proposing I sleep with him sounded like a good idea?? Because it sounds like the sky must also be rainbow colored and money must grow like grass there!
Needless to say, I said
and blocked him online after that fiasco.
This has been another installment of Taboo's hilarious fails at dating!
As background, I'd been dating my ex for about 6 months.
Fail #1: Dumping me over the phone from out of state with no warning.
Fail #2: Implying it was because I was bad in bed. (Remember this, it'll be important later.)
Fail #3: Insisting he wanted to be friends, then disappearing for three months.
Then came a big local board gaming event that we'd both be at. He brought some personal things I'd left at his apartment since he thought I'd be there.
Fail #4: Spilling out to me in a huge, dramatic confession that he was actually cheating on me for more than half the relationship, which is really the sort of thing you either say when you break up or just bury forever.
Fail #5: Insisting he went back to his ex because he was soooo in love with her. And he totally was only emotionally tangled up with her and nothing physical happened so it's okay, it's totally not cheating! But he is going to try and save up money to move out of state to where she lives because he looooves her sooo very much.
Fail #6: "But I can't move out there for a few months, so would you be willing to sleep with me in the meantime? I'm really lonely right now."
*record scratch*
Bonus fail #7: He said all of this in front of a work client of mine who was at the event, who afterwards dubbed him a "piece of work" and congratulated me on dodging a bullet with that one.
Bonus fail #8: If you insist that you were only emotionally cheating, and not physically, do not give your ex-girlfriend back her personal things from your apartment and accidentally throw in some of the other girl's ... very, ahem, intimate items in the bag. It's the fastest way to undermine everything you've said!
Yes. He managed to fail that badly. I was rather pissed, but in retrospect - how does one even manage to create such a train wreck and what sort of mental fantasy world is he living in that proposing I sleep with him sounded like a good idea?? Because it sounds like the sky must also be rainbow colored and money must grow like grass there!
Needless to say, I said
and blocked him online after that fiasco.This has been another installment of Taboo's hilarious fails at dating!
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