The Ultimatium.

[LillFilly]

Grrr.

I've been working on losing weight. I have weak willpower and love all the worst foods, but I should lose at least 40lbs. I have charged the BF with making me work-out, as much as I grumble about it.

Well, he's had a few spots on his well sun-kissed arms that I think he should have looked at. He hasn't seen a doctor in a good 10-years. I keep reminding him to find a primary care doctor, because I worry for him, but it's a fine line between reminding and nagging.

He finally said that he will go to the doctor after I lose 10 lbs. I've been working like the dickens. 3-lbs down, 7-to go. But I don't think this is at all fair, I feel like I have to lose weight as fast as possible because every day he could be that much closer to dying of skin cancer.

[shadowpanda]

It seems a bit harsh. I mean, I understand the motivation (and my god that's good motivation) but what happens (for example) it takes you 6 months to shift those next 7lbs and he doesn't get checked out?
Have you set a time limit for this? What about soething like, 'if I don't eat pizza and burgers etc for 2 weeks, will you get checked out?' It has to be something realistic that you will benefit from but he really should get to the doctors sooner rather than later. He should help by not eating that stuff too ;-)

Good luck with the weight loss, just do things the healthy way and please don't turn to drastic measures to shift it just to get him to the doctors. I understand the temptation might be there, but if you lose weight quickly, it tends to be put back on just as quickly.

[Amina516]

It seems a bit harsh. I mean, I understand the motivation (and my god that's good motivation) but what happens (for example) it takes you 6 months to shift those next 7lbs and he doesn't get checked out?
Have you set a time limit for this? What about soething like, 'if I don't eat pizza and burgers etc for 2 weeks, will you get checked out?' It has to be something realistic that you will benefit from but he really should get to the doctors sooner rather than later. He should help by not eating that stuff too ;-)

Good luck with the weight loss, just do things the healthy way and please don't turn to drastic measures to shift it just to get him to the doctors. I understand the temptation might be there, but if you lose weight quickly, it tends to be put back on just as quickly.

I have to agree with this above. That IS harsh. Tell him you cant work out until you know he's healthy? Everyones different, it may take you a month or more to lose 10 lbs. Your health and his health are not entertwined. They are separate and should be treated as such.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Considering ten pounds is not going to kill you, but melanoma WILL kill him, not only is that unreasonable, but it's stupid.

I'd ask him if he's like to reword that to "lose ten pounds or I'll kill myself" and see if that still sounds reasonable to him.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

It's likely that he doesn't think the skin's a problem. Still kind of a jerk move.
Also, remember, 2 pounds a week-- more, and you should be under doctor supervision.
Bonne Chance!

[Eisa]

Yeah, that's really not fair. That could be a really serious health problem. :3

If he really wants to do the ultimatum thing, I think phrasing it more like "no fast food for a week/two weeks" might be a lot better and easier to achieve.

[Mikkel]

If he really wants to do the ultimatum thing, I think phrasing it more like "no fast food for a week/two weeks" might be a lot better and easier to achieve.

Or even "I promise to get help losing weight if you will get those spots looked at now!"?

[draggar]

This is one f the reasons that I do schutzhund and with BIG dogs - it forces you to exercise for a few quick intense sessions a week. Plus, I like to go for walks with dogs (it's good for them and myself).

I know I've been preaching about Angel Food Ministries (no pun intended) but they are great, they get you HEALTHY food at a great price. I've eaten a fraction of the pasta that I used to since I started with them and my wife and I enjoy healthier meals (last night I had 3 battered haddock fillets, 1 crab cake and a TON of green beans). I also don't have any soda at home - all water (at home, I drink soda at work or when I'm out).

It took a while but the past month I've felt healthier and I noticed I've lost 10 pounds since the beginning of the year *(woohoo!).

[Kara]

The only way you'll lose that kind of weight fast enough is to use my current weight-loss system. Well, it's not so much a "system" as it is, "too broke to buy much food and having to carefully ration what I do manage to keep stocked." And then you'll BOTH be in poor health (I won't say how much I've lost in the last couple of months, just understand that I am getting what I need to survive and leave it at that).

You need to renegotiate the deal. If it turns out to be nothing, then no more fast food or whatever. If it is something serious, well... taking care of him will be the priority, but you can fib until you know for sure

[draggar]

Wait, don't cut out things you enjoy. I'm sure this is why many diets fail.

Don't cut it out but MODERATE IT.

If you enjoy fast food - great. Don't completely cut it out but maybe limit it to once a month or once every other week.

When I started y "diet" I was like NO fast food, NO soda, NO ice cream, NO candy. I was miserable.

So, I too a step back. Fast food once ever 2-4 weeks. Soda only while I'm at work (1 can limit) and while I'm eating out. Ice cream sometimes. Finish dinner, a small handful of M&Ms.

Also, start a routing. I take Pollux or Kiri for a long(ish) walk 1-2 times a week. I make sure my schutzhund sessions are as physically demanding on me as it is the dogs.

I park far from my work entrance, it guarantees me two walks that are a little longer than usual.

Another help - GET OUT. Go to the mall (forget the credit cards at home). This'll force you to walk around. Go do something you enjoy, even a simple game of catch.