1) I hired a woman to take care of my mom. I've employed her for almost three years and beginning Jan 2011 my uncle, who visits my mom, started to come on to her, then asking her for sex, then insults her, then insults her husband, then grabs her. He said he cotrols my household (mom and me are in the same house), not me. The woman did not tell me anything until Aug. She said she has rebuffed him several times, and she thinks he finally got the hint. Then she tells me he has been going into my room and saying smack about me because I have birth control. I felt bad for her, though later on I was pissed she never mentioned he went into my room. I talked to my uncle about this and he acts like it's she who is a trouble maker. I told him he can't come over when she is there.
Then mom went into the hospital about 2 weeks latter so I really don't know if he would stop harrassing the caretaker.
2) In June I got some notice from the laywers of the County tax collectors. I thought it was junk mail until I got some sheriff who came by with paper work by these lawyers saying my mom owes taxes from 1991-2001. Mom has dementia so no way I can ask her about paying taxes (well, I asked but she doesn't remember). There are tax receipts but none for the years owed. I call the lawyers but they say that the dates given aren't correct, she doesn't owe for 1991-whenever, though she did owe 2001-2007(some years in between). I call the taxoffice, the only taxes she owes is 2001-2007, which I decide to pay (about $3,000) But I still have to respond to the judge, which I did. I also got my mom to sign a tax deferral form and submitted it to the correct agency. This way, her land can't be taken away though interest accumulates.
Guess what? End of Sept, I get a certified letter saying there is a trial, she has to show up on Nov. 17. I call the lawyer again, he says it's a mistake, the courthouse isn't up to date, just write a letter to the judge. I decide to hire a lawyer I'm having a hard time finding a lawyer who specializes in this. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck....ugh!
3)Mom is in the ICU in a hospital, and on my way to visit her (this is the end of Sept) I'm at a light, facing east and it's 8am. A bus doesn't stop and hits a bunch of cars and something flies into my windshield, braking it. It gets reported, the ins. of the bus company contacts me and asks the same questions, like "what is your plate no. what is your ssn? how much is the est." I keep on replying. To replace the glass is $110. I went to the doctor and I'm fine. So the adjuster wants to know if I will settle the claim for $110.
4) mom is in the hospital. In the end of 2007 mom can't eat and vomits everything. Finally in Oct of 2008 she is told she has kidney failure, due to amylodosis (sp?). She goes to dialysis, and gets weaker (really, walks less, then can't walk without help) though she improves overall. Sometimes she gets admitted to the hospital for infections/low white blood cell counts. oNe time she was admitted her pericardium is full of fluid and she goes into surgery for a procedure. I notice after ward she isn't the same. She is more volitile. Then she doesn't remember things. I find out she has dementia, though once she gets home she isn't as volitile. But as time passes she spends more time in the hospital. It might last a week; the time when she had a procedure on her pericardium, she was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks, but because they didn't discover her heart problem (it was really minor at the time) till almost 2 weeks into her hospital stay.
Last time she was in the hospital was in May-June, for a month.
Then on Labor day I get her ready for dialysis but I see she throwed up. I call the ambulance and she goes to the hospital. She goes into arrest and he gets a breathing tube down her throat, then a line to feed her. She is on a ventilator for almost 3 weeks when they give her a trach. Then give her a peg (sp?) line to feed her-a tube inserted from her outside of her belly to her stomach. She has a catherer (sp) for urine, then they put a tube up her rectum because she has diarriah and so her poop goes into a bag. They say she isn't tolerating being off the trach, so they are planning to send her to a home, though she keeps on getting infections so that has to be treated in the hospital. She doesn't speak. We never talked about at what time she should not be given any treatment to keep her alive. But she looks miserable, I know she wants to go home (she always ask doctors when she can go home, though these last 2 hospiatl stays she hasn't talked). I'm hoping she can get better to get off the trach but I think if she ever goes home I would not let her be hospitalized and let her die peacefully at home. I'm thinking of hospice care, where they take her off of dialysis. They say the toxins would accumulate in her and she would go into a coma and die peacefully. But I know she is a fighter, she might get off the trach.
5)I fill out FMLA paperwork every year for work. The doctor (last year I got her kidney doctor to fill it out) fills out a part, I submit it to work so any absenses I get for taking care of my mom doens't affect me. I turned it in to the kidney doctor in the end of Aug. Sept. 5 mom goes to the hospital. Last week (I've been calling every week; one point the paperwork got lost, antoher point the doctor said he wanted to know why I needed this filled out) I'm told by the social worker who works in his office that since he hadn't seen her in a month he won't sign it. Fuck, I gave it back in Aug., he done it a year before so he should just copied what he did put down last year. The thing is I took her to a hospital he doesn't go to so I think he is being a dick with me. I wish he said something when he realized she wasn't in his care at the hospital. Now I have to find another doctor. She really hasn't seen her pcp since whenever she gets sick the people in dialysis notice first and ship her to a hospital that her pcp doesn't go to.
I'm not broken down by most of this, though the thing that I have a hard time with is my mom in the hospital and trying to do the best for her. I don't want her to suffer. What my uncle did hurt, because he was the person most there for me when my dad died when I was 16. I don't know what I'm going to do about the property. Best scenerio is I get a lawyer, or I have to represent my mom in court, and who knows what mistakes I will make in front of a judge.
Then mom went into the hospital about 2 weeks latter so I really don't know if he would stop harrassing the caretaker.
2) In June I got some notice from the laywers of the County tax collectors. I thought it was junk mail until I got some sheriff who came by with paper work by these lawyers saying my mom owes taxes from 1991-2001. Mom has dementia so no way I can ask her about paying taxes (well, I asked but she doesn't remember). There are tax receipts but none for the years owed. I call the lawyers but they say that the dates given aren't correct, she doesn't owe for 1991-whenever, though she did owe 2001-2007(some years in between). I call the taxoffice, the only taxes she owes is 2001-2007, which I decide to pay (about $3,000) But I still have to respond to the judge, which I did. I also got my mom to sign a tax deferral form and submitted it to the correct agency. This way, her land can't be taken away though interest accumulates.
Guess what? End of Sept, I get a certified letter saying there is a trial, she has to show up on Nov. 17. I call the lawyer again, he says it's a mistake, the courthouse isn't up to date, just write a letter to the judge. I decide to hire a lawyer I'm having a hard time finding a lawyer who specializes in this. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck....ugh!
3)Mom is in the ICU in a hospital, and on my way to visit her (this is the end of Sept) I'm at a light, facing east and it's 8am. A bus doesn't stop and hits a bunch of cars and something flies into my windshield, braking it. It gets reported, the ins. of the bus company contacts me and asks the same questions, like "what is your plate no. what is your ssn? how much is the est." I keep on replying. To replace the glass is $110. I went to the doctor and I'm fine. So the adjuster wants to know if I will settle the claim for $110.
4) mom is in the hospital. In the end of 2007 mom can't eat and vomits everything. Finally in Oct of 2008 she is told she has kidney failure, due to amylodosis (sp?). She goes to dialysis, and gets weaker (really, walks less, then can't walk without help) though she improves overall. Sometimes she gets admitted to the hospital for infections/low white blood cell counts. oNe time she was admitted her pericardium is full of fluid and she goes into surgery for a procedure. I notice after ward she isn't the same. She is more volitile. Then she doesn't remember things. I find out she has dementia, though once she gets home she isn't as volitile. But as time passes she spends more time in the hospital. It might last a week; the time when she had a procedure on her pericardium, she was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks, but because they didn't discover her heart problem (it was really minor at the time) till almost 2 weeks into her hospital stay.
Last time she was in the hospital was in May-June, for a month.
Then on Labor day I get her ready for dialysis but I see she throwed up. I call the ambulance and she goes to the hospital. She goes into arrest and he gets a breathing tube down her throat, then a line to feed her. She is on a ventilator for almost 3 weeks when they give her a trach. Then give her a peg (sp?) line to feed her-a tube inserted from her outside of her belly to her stomach. She has a catherer (sp) for urine, then they put a tube up her rectum because she has diarriah and so her poop goes into a bag. They say she isn't tolerating being off the trach, so they are planning to send her to a home, though she keeps on getting infections so that has to be treated in the hospital. She doesn't speak. We never talked about at what time she should not be given any treatment to keep her alive. But she looks miserable, I know she wants to go home (she always ask doctors when she can go home, though these last 2 hospiatl stays she hasn't talked). I'm hoping she can get better to get off the trach but I think if she ever goes home I would not let her be hospitalized and let her die peacefully at home. I'm thinking of hospice care, where they take her off of dialysis. They say the toxins would accumulate in her and she would go into a coma and die peacefully. But I know she is a fighter, she might get off the trach.
5)I fill out FMLA paperwork every year for work. The doctor (last year I got her kidney doctor to fill it out) fills out a part, I submit it to work so any absenses I get for taking care of my mom doens't affect me. I turned it in to the kidney doctor in the end of Aug. Sept. 5 mom goes to the hospital. Last week (I've been calling every week; one point the paperwork got lost, antoher point the doctor said he wanted to know why I needed this filled out) I'm told by the social worker who works in his office that since he hadn't seen her in a month he won't sign it. Fuck, I gave it back in Aug., he done it a year before so he should just copied what he did put down last year. The thing is I took her to a hospital he doesn't go to so I think he is being a dick with me. I wish he said something when he realized she wasn't in his care at the hospital. Now I have to find another doctor. She really hasn't seen her pcp since whenever she gets sick the people in dialysis notice first and ship her to a hospital that her pcp doesn't go to.
I'm not broken down by most of this, though the thing that I have a hard time with is my mom in the hospital and trying to do the best for her. I don't want her to suffer. What my uncle did hurt, because he was the person most there for me when my dad died when I was 16. I don't know what I'm going to do about the property. Best scenerio is I get a lawyer, or I have to represent my mom in court, and who knows what mistakes I will make in front of a judge.
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