Quoth Aislin
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Why I want to elope.
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Madness takes it's toll....
Please have exact change ready.
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Quoth Aislin View PostMy bf and I have been together 4 yrs, he proposed and I said yes of course. But he was hesitant to have a wedding. I didn't mind eloping but with a little discussion we agreed to have a small wedding in my families back yard. It took 3 months for him to tell his family we were engaged because they are super possessive of him.
Sometimes its worth it to take your cue from your SO, esp with their family - even more so when you've had the chance to get to know them for yourself.I am well versed in the "gentle" art of verbal self-defense
Once is an accident; Twice is coincidence; Thrice is a pattern.
http://www.gofundme.com/treasurenathanwedding
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You do what is best for you and the fiance. Period.
Hubby and I eloped. Well, kind of. We were planning a wedding and just had way too many nosey aunts, grandparents, etc trying to tell us what to have and who to have and all that expensive stuff. We just couldn't afford it being that we were paying out of our own pockets any expenses. My dearest Great aunt "E" calmly pulled me aside during a visit and suggested we elope. The thought had never occurred to me and was very suprised coming from an "older" family member. J and I talked it over and decided that it might just work for us. We got up for work one morning and while getting ready, I looked at him and said, "You want to get married today?". That's all it took--nearly 21 years, 2 kids, lots of dogs and several houses later---here we are, still side by side.
We did have a "traditional" wedding 11 years after the original to renew our vows and had all the family and family friends that could fit on the hay bales.
You do what you have to do within your budget (that your parents have set) and that you and the fiance are comfortable with. Let the future m-i-l stew a bit if she has to. If she is any kind of woman/mother, she'll get over it when she decides to quit re-living her youth through her son and his gal.
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Quoth Luna Baby View PostYou do what is best for you and the fiance. Period.
Quoth Merriweather View PostI'm not advising yes or no on eloping, but do think hard - is that what you want? While it would be wrong to be forced into a big wedding you don't want, it would be equally wrong to be forced into eloping if that's not what you want. Elope if that's what you want, to many that's the perfect wedding. But just as you dont' want to let her force you into a big wedding instead of your planned small wedding, don't let her force you into eloping instead of your small wedding, IF that small wedding is wha tyou really want. Think of what type of wedding you'd want if everyone were co-operating nicely, and then tell them that's what you'e having & to back off, whether it's the local small wedding or an elopement, just do what is the best for you, what you want to look back on happily (and only you can determine what that should be).
Quoth TheSHAD0W View PostAislin, I strongly recommend you NOT tell them you're eloping. Do it first, tell them afterwards. It'll save you a lot of trouble.
For sure. Especially with the monster-in-law. That was pretty low that after fiance said no that she tried to get you to side with her. Keep sticking to your guns (both of you).I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09
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If your MIL must have all of these people, tell her to hold a reception after the wedding that she will pay for and invite them all. If you wish to elope, it is your decision. According to etiquette, the size of the wedding is dependent on the bride and groom, and what they (or the bride's family) can afford. If people want to give them receptions AFTER the wedding to invite all and sundry, they are free to do so.
Sounds like MIL wants to have it all, but if she is allowed to have a reception, it might pour oil on troubled waters. While your boyfriend is careful about his family, you do NOT want to get involved in a family fight that causes him to not speak to them, as this will only cause them to blame YOU.Remember, stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
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Quoth kansasgal View PostIf your MIL must have all of these people, tell her to hold a reception after the wedding that she will pay for and invite them all. If you wish to elope, it is your decision..
Also, importantly, let your Fiancee do most of the arguing. Don't, whatever you do, end up with you and MiL fighting each other over the top of your fiancee. Your marriage is the start of a new family; you and your fiancee are a team against the rest of the world, if necessary. Yours are joint decisions, and the MiL can input advice but doesn't get a say in the final decision. Don't let any cracks show in front of her, because it sounds like she'll try to use them for all they're worth.
Also, final advice: don't let the problems spoil your view of the wedding. Get excited over whatever you choose to do. Pick an outfit that makes you feel beautiful. Enjoy the fact that you're marrying the most wonderful person in the world. Admire your rings. Take silly photographs. Enjoy the planning as much as you enjoy the day.
Family, eh. Who'd have 'em?I speak English, L33t, Sarcasm and basic Idiot.
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