My finger on the send button, ready to send an email that will probably end the best friendship I ever had. 7 years I've been this guy's friend. I was there when his wife died, when his sister died, when he thought he had cancer. I've been there for him. I always told him he could talk to me about anything and he did. He was the nicest man I have ever known and I've been proud to call him friend. He's on disability for being mildly schizophrenic but he didn't just sit back and let that be it after his wife died and he didnt' have to take care of her anymore he went out and got a job and now has a paper route three days a week. It doesn't sound like much but when stress gives him seizures or even just too many people talking at once it is a big deal. He was my best friend but then this friday night right in the middle of me working on my essay I get this:
I respond saying I need some time to think, and honestly after thinking all weekend I'm read to send this:
Oh well either I spend the next few days dwelling on it or I send this and try to actually finish my essay so I can begin the next bit of my giant homework pile.
Here it goes, by the time you respond I'll probably have already hit send.
I won't be able to get together with you for gaming on Sundays anymore, for quite a while. I didn't want to have to write this, but I don't have a choice so here goes... For the last 9-12 months, when we've gotten together to game or hang out, after you've left to go home, I've been angry, annoyed, tired and fed up when you've left - not happy after spending a day with a friend.
I don't know why this is - I like you, and I like your sense of humor - but lately spending time around you has been driving me fucking crazy, and I'm tired of being angry after seeing a person I consider a friend. If a visit is going to leave me like this for 6-8 hours after you leave, I've reached a point where I'd rather not have the visit.
I hope you don't take this as an attack on yourself - I'm not sure if the problem rests with me or you - all I do know is that our visits lately haven't been Fun - which they should be. I'd like to still call you a friend, even if it does sound like I'm throwing you under the bus. I don't know what else to say - even writing this email was extremely difficult for me.
I know I still have a bunch of your stuff - Dresden RPG, some computer books. If you want them returned, I'll make sure you get them - just tell me where/when/how I should get them to you. I'd still like to give you that set of Runebound dice - I know you'd like to have a spare set.
I know this letter sounds strange and contradictory - I apologize. I just can't think of a better way to say what I needed to say.
I don't know why this is - I like you, and I like your sense of humor - but lately spending time around you has been driving me fucking crazy, and I'm tired of being angry after seeing a person I consider a friend. If a visit is going to leave me like this for 6-8 hours after you leave, I've reached a point where I'd rather not have the visit.
I hope you don't take this as an attack on yourself - I'm not sure if the problem rests with me or you - all I do know is that our visits lately haven't been Fun - which they should be. I'd like to still call you a friend, even if it does sound like I'm throwing you under the bus. I don't know what else to say - even writing this email was extremely difficult for me.
I know I still have a bunch of your stuff - Dresden RPG, some computer books. If you want them returned, I'll make sure you get them - just tell me where/when/how I should get them to you. I'd still like to give you that set of Runebound dice - I know you'd like to have a spare set.
I know this letter sounds strange and contradictory - I apologize. I just can't think of a better way to say what I needed to say.
I still really don't what to say to you. first off I fail to see how not to interpret this as an attack on me. You say you can't stand to be around me, you don't to hang out for quite a while with nothing about time frame at all. Then you offer to arrange to return my stuff. So basically what you're saying is not you need a break but that you've decided you don't want to see me for a long time. You've given me no real reason why, no information what so ever. This email is basically just a punch to the face with no warning and no reason. We've been friends for 7 years at least. I not saying you owe me anything but I think I deserve better than this.
Further if what you say here is true then you lied to me, after you guys asked me to change my behaviour for the game, and I did or at least tried to, you made a point of telling me that you were having fun multiple times. So if there really was a problem at that time then you lied to me. I really don't know where to go from here. A better way to say this stuff would have been to fucking talk to me. I thought I made it clear that you could talk to me about anything. I don't know what happens next but I'm not going to change, I am who I am and honestly if really comes down to us being done then man the fuck up and just say it.
Further if what you say here is true then you lied to me, after you guys asked me to change my behaviour for the game, and I did or at least tried to, you made a point of telling me that you were having fun multiple times. So if there really was a problem at that time then you lied to me. I really don't know where to go from here. A better way to say this stuff would have been to fucking talk to me. I thought I made it clear that you could talk to me about anything. I don't know what happens next but I'm not going to change, I am who I am and honestly if really comes down to us being done then man the fuck up and just say it.
Here it goes, by the time you respond I'll probably have already hit send.
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