Then WHY did we go through this????

[Rhania506]

Okay, I'm not sure if this should go in a different forum, but I need to get it off my chest. Right now I am so mad at my boyfriend I could scream. I get so frustrated with his work ethic. He's 55 and works in retail, but since 2013 started, he has called in sick to his job six times. That is unfathomable to me. I was raised that if you were conscious and mobile, you go to work. I understand the occasional sick day, and even an occasional "play hooky" day. But six in two and a half months seems unreasonable to me.

And then today happened.

Since November, I'd been trying to help him get a different job with one of my regular customers. Another retail job where he would have a greater potential for advancement. This is something he asked me to do, mind, not something that I'm pushing. I'd spent hours helping him write his resume, fill out the online applications, setting up his email accounts, etc. since he doesn't have a computer. Everything was going well. He passed everything with flying colors and he was offered the job.

I get back from vacation today, and my customer who hired him comes to my window and says "So what happened with _____?"

I said "What do you mean?"

Apparently, my boyfriend had a hiccup with one of the emails that the company sent not going through, and he took it as a "sign". He went in and turned down the job. After four months of trying to get it. After attending orientation. After me vouching for him to one of MY customers. After spending the majority of our last date (my birthday) on the phone and computer doing paperwork. He turned down the damn job.

Grr.... Prison orange is not your color.... Prison orange is not your color.... Prison orange is not your color....

I'm angry right now, and so I'm venting. In a lot of ways, he is wonderful. I guess my mistake is expecting that because he is so much older than me (I'm 29), that he is automatically more mature and responsible or that we have the same values. I just hate that we went through so much work for nothing.

[Pixilated]

*snip* I guess my mistake is expecting that because he is so much older than me (I'm 29), that he is automatically more mature and responsible or that we have the same values. I just hate that we went through so much work for nothing.

I would say that's a fairly accurate recognition of your -- erm -- possibly over-optimistic assessment of him.

And frankly, from the sounds of it, YOU did a lot of work for nothing. I know you're not asking for advice but ... perhaps next time, you could leave the bulk of the work of applying for a job to him. Among other things, it will give you a good idea of just how much he really wants the job.

As somebody who's a couple of years older than your boyfriend, I would have been hard put to restrain myself from going out and buying a leg of lamb (... anybody catch the reference ... ? )

Just keep reminding yourself that prison orange is not your colour.

[Cazzi]

I would have been hard put to restrain myself from going out and buying a leg of lamb (... anybody catch the reference ... ? )

Would you be thinking of a certain Tale OF The Unexpected there?

[telecom_goddess]

omg sounds like my boyfriend. So unmotivated. He has a job but it pays shit and he really needs to get another one. He does nothing but bitch about this one. But does he even TRY to find another one? hell no that would mean DOING something.

If he ever gets fired for some reason I will have to chant "prison orange is not your color" as well.

[BroSCFischer]

As somebody who's a couple of years older than your boyfriend, I would have been hard put to restrain myself from going out and buying a leg of lamb (... anybody catch the reference ... ? )

Would you be thinking of a certain Tale OF The Unexpected there?

Short Story by Roald Dahl entitled "Lamb to the Slaughter". Many (if not all) of his adult stories were made into episodes of various TV series, including Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Tales of the Unexpected.

SC

[taxguykarl]

Sounds like my ex-GF, she refused to even consider a job more than 1000' from her residence (keep in mind, I never traveled less than a mile for a job). What her complaint was I may never know as I can't recall her ever holding one for more than 4 months.

I feel you pain, Rhania.

Did anyone else notice how BF didn't tell her and she found out second-hand?

[RootedPhoenix]

I didn't, but that looks terrible. (It might not be, though, as I don't know this guy.)

[Pixilated]

*snip*

Did anyone else notice how BF didn't tell her and she found out second-hand?

Now you mention it ... no, I hadn't noticed ...

[Rhania506]

Yeah, he still hasn't called me about it. Granted he hasn't called me at all since Thursday. But I was sick so maybe he didn't want to tell me then (she says optimistically).

[Akasa]

That would be a deal breaker for me.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I have learned from experience that older does not mean wiser or more mature. My ex was 11 years older than me and always had money to go out for a beer or six but couldn't pay his bills (and failed to inform me of that fact until it was too late....every time). At least he could keep a job...

And at least I can say that I am wiser after that relationship.

[taxguykarl]

Sounds like your ex and mine could be related, BE. She liked to remind me of her age (10 yrs. my senior)...acting it was another story

[MadMike]

55 huh? If he had pulled something like that on me, he wouldn't have lived to see 56.

[BlaqueKatt]

Yeah, he still hasn't called me about it. Granted he hasn't called me at all since Thursday. But I was sick so maybe he didn't want to tell me then (she says optimistically).

I'd say if he doesn't mention it, bring it up casually, his answer should tell you how trustworthy he is.

[Pixilated]

That would be a deal breaker for me.

Same here. I'm wondering if he knows (or has strong suspicions) that his error has become "known" and is trying to figure out what to do next ...