Best way to deal with this? (dating situation)

[AdminAssistant]

I dunno. From the sound of it, to me, it does seem like she was trying to 'let him down easy' by not setting a specific date when she originally asked him and then lying to him at the event in Montreal. "Keeping options open" or not, if she were hanging out with another guy, she should have said so.

[Plaidman]

Its still pretty possive of you. How do you know she didn't agree to a date with the first guy first, and didn't know what day that was going to be? Or that she agreed to your date first then that guy. A girl saying sure to a dinner is not automatic barred from future dates period/only excusive with you. Its just a dinner. A way to get to know you.

I'm not there, and my luck with woman, well, sucks, but even I know a few simple things about dating. Like the fact a woman isn't yours just because she said yes to a date with you later.

On the otherside, then yeah, she might just be getting a free dinner out of you. So what? You think your the first and only human that will ever happen to? But even if she is planning on that now, that doesn't mean no matter what you do during said dinner, you cannot intrest her enough to get to a second date, third date, until that you are in fact in a relationship.

[Jester]

Also, do not order for her. That bad.

Normally true. Some women DO like their date to order for them, but guys should never do that unless they KNOW that is what the woman desires them to do.

I think you guys didn't understand the problem properly.

I don't mean this to be rude, but frankly, it sounds like you don't understand the situation.

She said "yes" to the date; the Montreal incident implies that she actually isn't interested, and that her "yes" is really just a delayed "no" and a chance to score a free meal.

It doesn't imply that to me. That is one possibility, yes, but there are several others. Some of which have been suggested here, some of which you (and the rest of us) may not have even thought of yet.

You are assuming that her spending time with the other guy in Montreal means she is not interested in you. You don't know that to be true, unless she told you that specifically and we have just missed that.

From the sound of it, to me, it does seem like she was trying to 'let him down easy' by not setting a specific date when she originally asked him and then lying to him at the event in Montreal.

Another possibility, but only the girl herself knows.

"Keeping options open" or not, if she were hanging out with another guy, she should have said so.

I strongly disagree. Since the OP and her had not even had one date, nor had they linked themselves to each other verbally, she really didn't have any obligation to tell him about other plans with other guys she may have had.

While I have not dated multiple women at the same time, the few times I have, I had no problem not telling the one about the other. Why? I wasn't exclusive with either one, nor they with me. Had they asked me about other women, I would have certainly told them, but I did not feel at all obligated to volunteer that information. I don't lie to the women I date, but that doesn't mean I have to tell them everything up front.

And what is good for the gander is definitely good for the goose. After all, I never asked those girls if they were dating other men or not....I was seeing where things would go, as were they. And honestly, no one had a problem with it.

[Ree]

OK...I think this is enough rehashing and advice from the armchair experts.

This is getting a bit heated.

I'm closing it.