Peddling, my daughter, and my mother! Oh my!

[CaroPhoenix]

Okies ...

Today has been busy for the Rum Family.

We picked up the trike we had ordered for me (in the thread titled "My new toy!" in the main Off Topic section).

Child Rum decided that since Daddy has a bike and now mommy has one too, she wants one.

We went to the local Toys R Us and bought this bike for her. We got her a helmet (I got one too for my trike ), bike gloves, knee pads, and elbow pads. She's really excited.

However, there is a problem: She doesn't seem to understand the concept of peddling. We keep telling her to move her legs forward. We tell her to keep swing her legs. We tell her to push with her feet on the peddles. I've tried being behind her, hands on her feet to get her to move the peddles. I think she's so intent on watching her feet, she forgets to move her legs. Or she doesn't understand that to move the bike, she has to move her feet and legs.

So I call my parents for advice. My mother is royally pissed off that we bought her a 20-inch 2-wheeler with training wheels. What were we thinking!? She's never ridden a trike and so she doesn't know how to push the pedals! And don't you know that she's not like other "normal" kids?!? We're horrible!

Now this is MY MOTHER who tells me not to use Child's Autism as an excuse for her not to do things.

However, when we signed her up for soccer (in a league where other children are diasabled/and/or Autistic), she was like, "How can she play soccer?" and "How can we make her play a sport?" Never mind that Child just loves running and making goals.

Now, she's after us on buying a bike.

What should I say to her? Should I say anything to defend myself? Defend Mr. Rum?

Child Rum really wants to ride a bike, if she didn't have to push the peddles, she'd be off on her own.

please!!!!!

[trailerparkmedic]

I don't have any advice on your mother (who sounds like an idiot), but is there someone at Child Rum's school that might have some ideas on how to teach her to ride her bike?

Have you showed her how you ride your bike? Maybe if you ride your bike and Mr. Rum pushes her feet at the same time it will help her. I babysat an autistic kid a lot when I was in high school and I had the best results when showing him how to do something. Good luck!

[r2cagle]

It's the first day... give it time.

My child had to be pushed for the first 20 times before he learned that the pedal turns and makes the wheels go. Be patient.. if you have some room inside that you can bring the bike in and let her practice in a confined area, that might help.

I say be patient... my autistic nephew has learned to ride a bike, but it takes a lot of patience, energy and time... so child rum can certainly learn if she wants to.

[CaroPhoenix]

Thank you tpm and r2cagle for the advice!

I'm trying to be patient. Mr. & Child Rum are the impatient ones. She wants to ride OMG NAO!!!!! (I swear, she's got speshul snowflake syndrome and I have no clue where she got it from as I'm always an ).

She wants to ride so badly she can't understand why she's not getting it and she kept repeating "I'm frustrated!"

Yes, she said a whole sentence...about an emotion! I'm soooo happy for her! But at the same time, she's frustrated and really lets us all know.

[ArcticChicken]

Hmm, could you get pedals with straps on them for the bike?

It seems to me (with absolutely no experience with teaching children to ride a bike, or autistic children anything whatsoever) that if the pedals had straps on them, and you put her feet on the pedals in the straps, and then pushed the bike, it would cause the pedals to move, and since her feet are attached to the pedals, then her legs would move as required to pedal a bike, and something might click.

I, personally, learn much better from doing a thing than either seeing it or having it described to me.

[Magpie]

I had a girl who was potentially autistic (her parents were in the diagnostic process) at Brownies, who was able to express that she was frustrated or stressed, but not necessarily otherwise. For some reason, I think there's more pressure to notice and express those emotions.

For a quick fix, so that she can ride the bike, is there a gentle slope you can put her on the top of? And can you have her pedal her legs when she's not on the bike, and tell her to do that on the bike? Perhaps against your hands.

As for your mother, don't try to defend yourself. She's stressed that her granddaughter isn't what she expected, and is just taking it out on you. Tell her to back off. (I can't think of a polite way to do so, but you're not spectrum, so hopefully you'd have better luck than I would). If you really need to, explain that you're taking so-and-so's advice with what you do and don't do with your daughter. If her psychologist never made any suggestions, I'm sure you have an autism expert that you can quote as saying that you need to personalize what each person does. (Yes, I've been reading books on the topic lately, how can you tell?)

[Andara Bledin]

If you haven't, definitely have her watch one of you ride the bike (I would suggest having her watch you, first, since you're on a trike, so you don't have to move to keep upright), and show her how moving the pedals makes the bike go. Let her help push the pedals around with her hands to move the bike as well so she can get a feel of how it works.

Then, once she can demonstrate how to make your bike go, let her get on her bike and try to make it go. It might take some work to get her from making yours go with her hands to making hers go with her feet.

Also, you can compare riding a bike with walking. You have to make a similar motion to walk, so you should be able to use that to translate into pedaling to go forward.

^-.-^

[Shangri-laschild]

I've tried being behind her, hands on her feet to get her to move the peddles. I think she's so intent on watching her feet, she forgets to move her legs. Or she doesn't understand that to move the bike, she has to move her feet and legs.

Maybe try pushing on her knees instead of her feet? That might help her see the whole movement that's needed.

[r2cagle]

She wants to ride so badly she can't understand why she's not getting it and she kept repeating "I'm frustrated!"

This may or may not work.. .but I've been having to tell my son this lately. "If you are getting so frustrated, then maybe you need to stop and come back and try again when you are calmer". Doesn't work very well with a 5 year old, but I'm hoping that the message gets through sooner or later.

[Mishi]

If you have a safe-ish exercise bike, or access to one, let your munchkin play on that for a bit. My eldest has had a peddle trike since she first expessed interest but it's only recently that she's figured out how to peddle thanks to using my (sturdy) exercise bike as a jungle gym. Now we have to work on steering!

[CaroPhoenix]

OoO!

As soon as my FIL comes back up this way with his pick-up truck we're going to be getting my MIL's really really really ancient exercise bike. I never even thought of that!

Thanks Mishi!

Now that's another reason to get it here quicker.

[Mishi]

Hope it works for your munchkin! I saw an interesting blogpost from someone that has a kid with Asperger's, I don't know if this is helpful but she mentioned that she realised her son was expressing frustration because he thought that everyone other than him could do everything right the first time.

[Magpie]

Hope it works for your munchkin! I saw an interesting blogpost from someone that has a kid with Asperger's, I don't know if this is helpful but she mentioned that she realised her son was expressing frustration because he thought that everyone other than him could do everything right the first time.

QFT!

I've had this problem. And it's even worse if your daughter is smarter than normal. You get the normal smart-kid problems of "I can't do this first time, clearly I'll never be able to do it at all" combined with the "but everyone else can do it, I guess I'm not as good as they are" with the whole theory of mind blindness. I know I do it, and still can't catch it until after the fact.

[CaroPhoenix]

Yeah, I think that's how Child is.

However, she's the type of child who can figure out things at the drop of a hat. Or atleast while watching you how to do something. (That's how she figured out how to open/press play on DVD player, VCR, and the little table top TV I used to have).

Also, she was the one who figured out how to open our old french door (with 2 chain locks still chained), wriggle out between door & door frame, throw a doll off the deck, push chair up to deck rail, climb chair, climb over deck rail and was about to jump all before I was able to get her in time. (And I think I got more grey hair that day too).

She's the type of "I can do everything myself."

I think that's why she's so frustrated. She can't do this by herself.

(FTR, the only difference between her and someone with Asperberger's Syndrome is that she lost her ability to talk whereas someone with Asperberger's never loses their ability to talk).

[CaroPhoenix]

A move in the right direction!

Child Rum, Mr. Rum, and myself were hanging out in the basement. Child Rum decided it would be a good idea to sit on my trike and try to move the pedals. She actually did! She moved the trike 2 or 3 inches. By. her. self.

However, when Mr. Rum took Child Rum outside later that afternoon, she was pushing the pedals on her own, but still wanted Mr. Rum to hold the bike while she pedaled. Does that makes sense?

How do we convince her to pedal by herself, with either me or mr. rum folloing her so she doesn't fall over?