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Okay, I’m a step father. We have one last kid still residing with us, who will be 17 in five days. When I became a step dad, I decided to read what people who have been step kids thought of their step dads, so that I could avoid those mistakes. I learned that the step parent should step aside and leave disciplining to the birth parent. It’s been hard, but I’ve tried my best. I also have never thrown anything up in our kids’ faces, such as the person who regularly told his step kids “Still eating my food? Then do what I say.”
Rant number 1. She is loudly proclaiming that once she is 17, we can no longer make her go to school. (Actually the law in question states we are not required to keep her in school once she is 17, but I digress). We’re home schooling her because she got expelled after buying dope for somebody else
She is no longer even pretending to do her school work. Her reasoning: “I’ll be 17 next week, so what’s the point?”
Rant number 2. I have tried to open doors with this kid. I tried to think of things we could do together. I’ve stood aside and acted as a support for her mother while trying not to seem as if I’m out to replace her Dad. She shuts me out at every turn. I comprehend the emotional and psychological morass behind this, really I do.
More background: Biological Father is (to put it as mildly as I am able) an ass. With 6 kids and a 2 decade marriage, he walked out for a crack head half his age. In the span of 3 years that followed, he ran the business he owned into the ground buying drugs, getting arrested, and farting around until every client dropped him and his vehicle and equipment were repossessed.
The kids all treated Mom like a verbal punching bag while defending Dad at every turn. Again, I understand this. First of all, he’s the fun parent (or he used to be until he decided to vanish). Mom and I are the Big Green Meanies who insist on rules being followed, homework getting done, coming home on time, etc., etc. He’s the pal, the friend, the guy who takes them out to eat at expensive restaurants we can’t afford, who doesn’t enforce any rules, who undermines our efforts to discipline and maintain civilized behavior at every turn. Secondly, he’s the parent who runs off and disappears if he gets stressed out, while we are the ones who stay, no matter how badly we’re treated.
That’s enough catharsis for now. I’ll post more later.
Rant number 1. She is loudly proclaiming that once she is 17, we can no longer make her go to school. (Actually the law in question states we are not required to keep her in school once she is 17, but I digress). We’re home schooling her because she got expelled after buying dope for somebody else
She is no longer even pretending to do her school work. Her reasoning: “I’ll be 17 next week, so what’s the point?”Rant number 2. I have tried to open doors with this kid. I tried to think of things we could do together. I’ve stood aside and acted as a support for her mother while trying not to seem as if I’m out to replace her Dad. She shuts me out at every turn. I comprehend the emotional and psychological morass behind this, really I do.
More background: Biological Father is (to put it as mildly as I am able) an ass. With 6 kids and a 2 decade marriage, he walked out for a crack head half his age. In the span of 3 years that followed, he ran the business he owned into the ground buying drugs, getting arrested, and farting around until every client dropped him and his vehicle and equipment were repossessed.
The kids all treated Mom like a verbal punching bag while defending Dad at every turn. Again, I understand this. First of all, he’s the fun parent (or he used to be until he decided to vanish). Mom and I are the Big Green Meanies who insist on rules being followed, homework getting done, coming home on time, etc., etc. He’s the pal, the friend, the guy who takes them out to eat at expensive restaurants we can’t afford, who doesn’t enforce any rules, who undermines our efforts to discipline and maintain civilized behavior at every turn. Secondly, he’s the parent who runs off and disappears if he gets stressed out, while we are the ones who stay, no matter how badly we’re treated.
That’s enough catharsis for now. I’ll post more later.
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