Am I wrong to feel this way?

[KellyHabersham]

*I know I've posted about this before, but with the holidays (and inevitable family gatherings) coming up, this has kind of been on my mind, and because I can't change some of this, I just needed to get it off my chest*

I suppose the best way to explain this is that since I reached my teens, I've not been fond of getting together with extended family members. To give a few examples of why I feel this way:

- There's a major age difference between myself and my cousins, so I never really felt like I fit in with them, and with having different interests/life experiences, it's hard to find things in common. (they preferred to hang out with my siblings as we were growing up)

- It's sometimes difficult to get my older relatives to talk to me about something other than working at the library, and because they do not do this with my siblings or their spouses, I feel like they're assuming I don't have much of a life/interests outside of my job. (although I have to admit my relatives have gotten better about this)

[Lyse]

You can never be wrong for a feeling - only actions taken. Feelings just *are*, and thinking that you shouldn't feel a particular way just opens you up to adding guilt and possibly resentment to the mix.

Is it possible that your older relatives are feeling awkward in talking to you because of the age difference?

It's hard when it's your own family that feels like acquaintances. *hugs*

[Redbeard]

Yes, you're a horrible person and should conform to their needs and wants.
You know, like you should to ANY SC.

[emt_cookies]

I'm guessing the library is a "safe" topic that they can use to talk to you about. Maybe you should try redirecting the topic to other things that you do.

[KellyHabersham]

I'm guessing the library is a "safe" topic that they can use to talk to you about. Maybe you should try redirecting the topic to other things that you do.

I think it's partly that, the fact that I've not always been able to join in with family stuff because of work, and that when my mom talks to relatives on the phone and gives updates on her kids, the library job is usually the ONLY thing she mentions when talking about me.

[Redbeard]

It doesn't sound like age difference so much as they sound like the kind of people who have always been old. Usually you can find SOME topic to agree on, like sports, books, movies, whatever. I ran into this a lot when I lived in Utah and my wifes uber Mormon family would look at me like a great kilted freak and move to the other side of the room at family gatherings. I'd say bring a book to read if you can't find common gound if you decide to go.